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Regarding the question of victim blaming (a comment also brutally murdered), sometimes it's a sane question to ask: if you never look into the contributing fact
by yarg 3y ago
Regarding the question of victim blaming (a comment also brutally murdered), sometimes it's a sane question to ask: if you never look into the contributing factors of a situation you can never stop it from happening again.
Put your pretensions about the sacred nature of life aside and understand that children are a pain in the arse to have, and the disagreeable son of disagreeable parents even more so.
But I maintain to this day that I was never really an arsehole.
Also, if people stop having kids we're going just as extinct as if we have too many. Learn a bit of moderation.
Considering that, we need to make having kids a more viable option than it is (and for a lot of the most useful people in society).
- em-bee 3y agoeverything that bothers me about my kids they learned from me and my partner. and everything bad about how we treat our kids we got from our parents. same goes for some of the good things too. but i hope that i manage to skip some of the bad things i experienced from my parents and add some good things that they didn't do so my kids have a better experience than me. and i hope the trend continues.
- yarg 3y agoIt doesn't have to be that way: the best way to learn is by not repeating the mistakes of others, but we overpersonalise the situation if cute and innocent puppies were involved, and especially if we were the puppies. Compare that to the situation where you saw some idiot kid fuck himself up at school, and immediately learned not to do that. Why learn from the latter but not the former? The stakes in either situation are equally high. As to how we act, in the negation of what not to do there is the freedom to think and be creative; just be reasonable about it.
- em-bee 3y agoit takes some time to recognize what are mistakes. i didn't notice many things until i saw my kids do them and only that made me stop doing that myself.
- yarg 3y agoAs for me, if I ever sort my shit out and get around to having kids, I'll try to teach them to challenge me when and only when I'm being unreasonable - and how to tell the difference between. Then we'll navigate interpersonal difficulties as they inevitably come.
- em-bee 3y agochildren have a very different idea of what's reasonable. for example my kids find it unreasonable that i don't allow them to take sodas and junk-food to eat in school, when many other kids bring that. they also don't understand that they can't watch tv and play on the computer all day, which is especially difficult because they see me on the computer all day due to my work. nevertheless, having kids is very rewarding, so i hope you'll get there some day.