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My parents didn't like me as a person, I don't remember why. My mother once said to me "When you were a child I thought you'd grow up to be the next Adolph Hit
by yarg 3y ago
My parents didn't like me as a person, I don't remember why.
My mother once said to me "When you were a child I thought you'd grow up to be the next Adolph Hitler.".
My father's version was "You couldn't have had a brother because we couldn't have another one of you.".
Both punished me for not being the person they wanted me to be, not only was there very little overlap between my personality and what they wanted, there was bugger all overlap between what the two of them wanted individually.
I ended up with a compromised façade of a personality that I'm still trying to peel away.
- ITB 3y agoWere you a troublemaker ?
- kevviiinn 3y agoAre you victim blaming ?
- isoprophlex 3y agoI vouched for this, also considering yargs comments... but this comment is on pretty thin ice. If you want to avoid that in the future, maybe it helps to make your comment more substantial instead of a single sentence which can easily be interpreted as malicious.
- watwut 3y agoUnwanted kids often end up ones. They act out to get attention and because they needs are not met.
- yarg 3y agoYo, dang: ITB got flagged and killed for a fair enough question, anyway I can vouch for his comment? ITB > Were you a troublemaker ? I might've been a bit of a disagreeable cunt, but I was never fucking Hitler.
- yarg 3y agoRegarding the question of victim blaming (a comment also brutally murdered), sometimes it's a sane question to ask: if you never look into the contributing factors of a situation you can never stop it from happening again. Put your pretensions about the sacred nature of life aside and understand that children are a pain in the arse to have, and the disagreeable son of disagreeable parents even more so. But I maintain to this day that I was never really an arsehole. Also, if people stop having kids we're going just as extinct as if we have too many. Learn a bit of moderation. Considering that, we need to make having kids a more viable option than it is (and for a lot of the most useful people in society).
- em-bee 3y agoeverything that bothers me about my kids they learned from me and my partner. and everything bad about how we treat our kids we got from our parents. same goes for some of the good things too. but i hope that i manage to skip some of the bad things i experienced from my parents and add some good things that they didn't do so my kids have a better experience than me. and i hope the trend continues.
- yarg 3y agoIt doesn't have to be that way: the best way to learn is by not repeating the mistakes of others, but we overpersonalise the situation if cute and innocent puppies were involved, and especially if we were the puppies. Compare that to the situation where you saw some idiot kid fuck himself up at school, and immediately learned not to do that. Why learn from the latter but not the former? The stakes in either situation are equally high. As to how we act, in the negation of what not to do there is the freedom to think and be creative; just be reasonable about it.
- em-bee 3y agoit takes some time to recognize what are mistakes. i didn't notice many things until i saw my kids do them and only that made me stop doing that myself.