3 ms·

You can already do that by simply not getting married? I have friends that have lived together for 10+ years and have multiple children that don't plan to ever

You can already do that by simply not getting married? I have friends that have lived together for 10+ years and have multiple children that don't plan to ever marry... seems to be working for them.

pengaru 3y ago
I don't know where you live, but that's a problematic approach in many US states having common-law marriages. Your friends anecdata is entirely irrelevant until they've separated and we hear about how that plays out, before it's even remotely worth hearing as still meaningless anecdata.
- boring_twenties 3y ago
  Seven[0] out of fifty is not "many" by any stretch of the imagination. Even in those seven, it's not something that happens automatically. For example, in Utah, it only applies to those "who hold themselves out as and have acquired a uniform and general reputation as husband and wife."[1] If my meaningless anecdata isn't remotely worth hearing about, then what's to be said about your intentionally misleading irrelevant statement? *Oops: [0] https://www.ncsl.org/human-services/common-law-marriage-by-state https://www.ncsl.org/human-services/common-law-marriage-by-s... [1] https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title30/Chapter1/30-1-S4.5.html?v=C30-1-S4.5_1800010118000101 https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title30/Chapter1/30-1-S4.5.html?v=...
- fps 3y ago
  Common law marriages are not as easy to happen by accident as many people assume. Living together doesn't matter. Common law marriage, in every state I've checked, requires that you have a ceremony and present yourself as a "married couple" publicly. You have to go around telling people you're married for it to matter.
  - dragonwriter 3y ago
    > Common law marriage, in every state I've checked, requires that you have a ceremony and present yourself as a "married couple" publicly. You have to go around telling people you're married for it to matter. It generally does not require a ceremony (but it does usually require an explicit mutual agreement), and living together does matter (cohabitation is commonly a requirement or evidence of common law marriage), but other than that you are right that publicly presenting as married is often a requirement (and otherwise is evidence). Here’s info from Texas as an example, which is more required-elements-based and includes cohabitation: https://guides.sll.texas.gov/common-law-marriage#:~:text=Texas%20law%20states%20that%20a,others%20that%20they%20were%20married%E2%80%9D https://guides.sll.texas.gov/common-law-marriage#:~:text=Tex... And here is Colorado, which is more evidence based and does not identify cohabitation as even a form of evidence (though it does have joint ownership of property): https://pitkincounty.com/288/Common-Law-Marriage https://pitkincounty.com/288/Common-Law-Marriage Utah is more specific requirements, and includes both cohabitation and how the couple presents publicly, but no ceremony: https://www.utcourts.gov/en/self-help/case-categories/family/marriage/common-law.html https://www.utcourts.gov/en/self-help/case-categories/family...

You can already do that by simply not getting married? I have friends that have lived together for 10+ years and have multiple children that don't plan to ever marry... seems to be working for them.

pengaru 3y ago

I don't know where you live, but that's a problematic approach in many US states having common-law marriages. Your friends anecdata is entirely irrelevant until they've separated and we hear about how that plays out, before it's even remotely worth hearing as still meaningless anecdata.

boring_twenties 3y ago
Seven[0] out of fifty is not "many" by any stretch of the imagination. Even in those seven, it's not something that happens automatically. For example, in Utah, it only applies to those "who hold themselves out as and have acquired a uniform and general reputation as husband and wife."[1] If my meaningless anecdata isn't remotely worth hearing about, then what's to be said about your intentionally misleading irrelevant statement? *Oops: [0] https://www.ncsl.org/human-services/common-law-marriage-by-state https://www.ncsl.org/human-services/common-law-marriage-by-s... [1] https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title30/Chapter1/30-1-S4.5.html?v=C30-1-S4.5_1800010118000101 https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title30/Chapter1/30-1-S4.5.html?v=...
fps 3y ago
Common law marriages are not as easy to happen by accident as many people assume. Living together doesn't matter. Common law marriage, in every state I've checked, requires that you have a ceremony and present yourself as a "married couple" publicly. You have to go around telling people you're married for it to matter.
- dragonwriter 3y ago
  > Common law marriage, in every state I've checked, requires that you have a ceremony and present yourself as a "married couple" publicly. You have to go around telling people you're married for it to matter. It generally does not require a ceremony (but it does usually require an explicit mutual agreement), and living together does matter (cohabitation is commonly a requirement or evidence of common law marriage), but other than that you are right that publicly presenting as married is often a requirement (and otherwise is evidence). Here’s info from Texas as an example, which is more required-elements-based and includes cohabitation: https://guides.sll.texas.gov/common-law-marriage#:~:text=Texas%20law%20states%20that%20a,others%20that%20they%20were%20married%E2%80%9D https://guides.sll.texas.gov/common-law-marriage#:~:text=Tex... And here is Colorado, which is more evidence based and does not identify cohabitation as even a form of evidence (though it does have joint ownership of property): https://pitkincounty.com/288/Common-Law-Marriage https://pitkincounty.com/288/Common-Law-Marriage Utah is more specific requirements, and includes both cohabitation and how the couple presents publicly, but no ceremony: https://www.utcourts.gov/en/self-help/case-categories/family/marriage/common-law.html https://www.utcourts.gov/en/self-help/case-categories/family...