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When your partner can't get it up because they've been abusing porn, you're incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons. And that's without even touch

When your partner can't get it up because they've been abusing porn, you're incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons. And that's without even touching the fact that your partner is getting off to images of someone else. There's nothing "liberal" about porn. Porn is neither conservative nor liberal, it is libertine.

dragonwriter 4y ago
> When your partner can’t get it up because they’ve been abusing porn, you’re incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons. If your partner prefers interacting with porn to doing so with you, the porn use is a symptom, not the source of the problem.
- anonymouskimmer 4y ago
  Maybe at first, but just like alcohol or any other addiction it becomes its own problem over time.
  - account42 4y ago
    Anything enjoyable (and many things that are not even that) can be addicting and in some cases enought to be a problem. That however is not an argument for banning it altogether or that it is morally unacceptable. And most additictions really are just a symptom for other problems.
kodah 4y ago
I think a lot of people blame porn for erectile dysfunction, but that's far from a leading cause: https://www.samhealth.org/about-samaritan/news-search/2022/06/08/ten-causes-of-erectile-dysfunction https://www.samhealth.org/about-samaritan/news-search/2022/0... and https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/top-10-causes-erectile-dysfunction https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/top-1... I guess this is also a good time for vulnerability since we're talking patriarchy. I've had periods of erectile dysfunction and they almost always overlapped with periods of intense stress or depression. Other times it had to do with my diet. That didn't stop some people at the time bringing up my porn use, which feels really nasty and humiliating when it happens to you. That isn't to say there aren't men who desensitize themselves, but I suspect that's more prevalent in young men and more of a minority in general. It is a provocative thing to bring up in conversation.
- anonymouskimmer 4y ago
  Fine, then "can't last as long", or "isn't as in to it".
  - kodah 4y ago
    I just find all of this really problematic, but maybe that's just me. I'd never make these assumptions or say these things to a woman.
LorenPechtel 4y ago
I strongly suspect the actual relationship is the other way around--it's a problem with their relationship that drove them to porn.
- anonymouskimmer 4y ago
  Maybe for some, but for people who start with porn before they ever have a relationship, this cannot be the case. At least not entirely.

dragonwriter 4y ago

> When your partner can’t get it up because they’ve been abusing porn, you’re incentivized to not like it just for personal reasons. If your partner prefers interacting with porn to doing so with you, the porn use is a symptom, not the source of the problem.

anonymouskimmer 4y ago
Maybe at first, but just like alcohol or any other addiction it becomes its own problem over time.
- account42 4y ago
  Anything enjoyable (and many things that are not even that) can be addicting and in some cases enought to be a problem. That however is not an argument for banning it altogether or that it is morally unacceptable. And most additictions really are just a symptom for other problems.

kodah 4y ago

I think a lot of people blame porn for erectile dysfunction, but that's far from a leading cause: https://www.samhealth.org/about-samaritan/news-search/2022/06/08/ten-causes-of-erectile-dysfunction https://www.samhealth.org/about-samaritan/news-search/2022/0... and https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/top-10-causes-erectile-dysfunction https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/erectile-dysfunction/top-1... I guess this is also a good time for vulnerability since we're talking patriarchy. I've had periods of erectile dysfunction and they almost always overlapped with periods of intense stress or depression. Other times it had to do with my diet. That didn't stop some people at the time bringing up my porn use, which feels really nasty and humiliating when it happens to you. That isn't to say there aren't men who desensitize themselves, but I suspect that's more prevalent in young men and more of a minority in general. It is a provocative thing to bring up in conversation.

anonymouskimmer 4y ago
Fine, then "can't last as long", or "isn't as in to it".
- kodah 4y ago
  I just find all of this really problematic, but maybe that's just me. I'd never make these assumptions or say these things to a woman.

LorenPechtel 4y ago

I strongly suspect the actual relationship is the other way around--it's a problem with their relationship that drove them to porn.

anonymouskimmer 4y ago
Maybe for some, but for people who start with porn before they ever have a relationship, this cannot be the case. At least not entirely.