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Man, I would not want to personally know you. This comment swings so hard at "you're a bad parent because..." that lacks any compassion for how difficult raisi

Man, I would not want to personally know you. This comment swings so hard at "you're a bad parent because..." that lacks any compassion for how difficult raising children. I have doubts you're a parent, but if you're a parent and are able to hold this highly judgmental opinions then your kids are the best sleepers in the world. Or perhaps have lots of help to be able to ignore everything else in life. You're very lucky to be in a camp that can hold such opinions.

kstenerud 4y ago
This is more about breaking persistent bad policies and social norms that were enacted without evidence, and empowering parents to withstand the public pressure to conform, much like the "free range kids" movement, and the breast milk movement. Now if we could just break the "nuclear family" norm... If even one parent reads my post and says "hey yeah, we don't have to conform to this arbitrary social norm - there's nothing wrong with our child sleeping in our bed!" then I'm happy. Solo-sleeping was popularized by Europeans - it's not a universal thing, even today.
- lucumo 4y ago
  > If even one parent reads my post and says "hey yeah, we don't have to conform to this arbitrary social norm I don't disagree with you there. I think that's a good goal. But why do that in a way that lays down another arbitrary social norm? That seems contradictory to your stated goal.
dumpster_fire 4y ago
Have you been on mum groups? It's 80% awesome and supportive people giving advice, and 20% intense judging. Of that 20%, there are so many parents with their own biased experience trying to justify their parenting actions by telling others it's the only and right way to raise kids, even when the answer is almost always YMMV. I think of it as their own way of surviving parenthood.
- irjustin 4y ago
  Oh I actively avoid those (definitely not personally knowing any of them). But, I get it, it's your child and you only want the best - especially if its your first born. But man, have a second kid - see if you still hold those ideals, haha. If you do, then respect - but still don't want to know you.
- rightbyte 4y ago
  Some know-it-all with quite well behaving kids are the worst. The funny thing is that what works is very child specific. So parents give each other good advice for their own children but might be terrible advice for others. Talking about child care became so much easier once I realized this.
bheadmaster 4y ago
Man, I would not want to be your child. The poster was asked to provide arguments to his opinion, and when he did, your only reaction is "how dare you call me a bad parent"? I bet you also believe physical violence is great because it is so convenient for parents - just beat their ass, and the little mofos become nice and docile. I mean, it's so hard to be a parent! After all, the poor parents are suffering so much, what's a little violence in comparison? Little shits should feel lucky they're getting beaten.
- irjustin 4y ago
  You seem to make sleep training and corporal punishment morally equivalent. Nice attempt at a strawman though.
  - bheadmaster 3y ago
    I never said or implied that, I only think that such defensive parents are more likely to justify everything they do with their "being a parent is so hard" attitude, so much that they probably think corporal punishment is fine as long as it makes their jobs easier. Nice attempt at a strawman, though.

kstenerud 4y ago

This is more about breaking persistent bad policies and social norms that were enacted without evidence, and empowering parents to withstand the public pressure to conform, much like the "free range kids" movement, and the breast milk movement. Now if we could just break the "nuclear family" norm... If even one parent reads my post and says "hey yeah, we don't have to conform to this arbitrary social norm - there's nothing wrong with our child sleeping in our bed!" then I'm happy. Solo-sleeping was popularized by Europeans - it's not a universal thing, even today.

lucumo 4y ago
> If even one parent reads my post and says "hey yeah, we don't have to conform to this arbitrary social norm I don't disagree with you there. I think that's a good goal. But why do that in a way that lays down another arbitrary social norm? That seems contradictory to your stated goal.

dumpster_fire 4y ago

Have you been on mum groups? It's 80% awesome and supportive people giving advice, and 20% intense judging. Of that 20%, there are so many parents with their own biased experience trying to justify their parenting actions by telling others it's the only and right way to raise kids, even when the answer is almost always YMMV. I think of it as their own way of surviving parenthood.

irjustin 4y ago
Oh I actively avoid those (definitely not personally knowing any of them). But, I get it, it's your child and you only want the best - especially if its your first born. But man, have a second kid - see if you still hold those ideals, haha. If you do, then respect - but still don't want to know you.
rightbyte 4y ago
Some know-it-all with quite well behaving kids are the worst. The funny thing is that what works is very child specific. So parents give each other good advice for their own children but might be terrible advice for others. Talking about child care became so much easier once I realized this.

bheadmaster 4y ago

Man, I would not want to be your child. The poster was asked to provide arguments to his opinion, and when he did, your only reaction is "how dare you call me a bad parent"? I bet you also believe physical violence is great because it is so convenient for parents - just beat their ass, and the little mofos become nice and docile. I mean, it's so hard to be a parent! After all, the poor parents are suffering so much, what's a little violence in comparison? Little shits should feel lucky they're getting beaten.

irjustin 4y ago
You seem to make sleep training and corporal punishment morally equivalent. Nice attempt at a strawman though.
- bheadmaster 3y ago
  I never said or implied that, I only think that such defensive parents are more likely to justify everything they do with their "being a parent is so hard" attitude, so much that they probably think corporal punishment is fine as long as it makes their jobs easier. Nice attempt at a strawman, though.