15 ms·

> 30 y/o virgins and other sexually frustrated nerds [...] the pristine, untouched nature of their junk For someone who is offering a critique against inapprop

> 30 y/o virgins and other sexually frustrated nerds [...] the pristine, untouched nature of their junk For someone who is offering a critique against inappropriate comments, what makes this ok? You've just ridiculed an entire group of people for what can be a very painful life circumstance, many of whom would never make or defend the kinds of comments you are criticizing.

angelbob 15y ago
Would they actually (out loud, audibly) object to those comments, or would they just "never make or defend" them? I ask because letting these things slide, or worse letting the comments seem approved-of by mass silence, is doing active harm.
- haberman 15y ago
  It sounds like you're arguing that men have to "earn" not having their genitalia discussed or being mocked for their loneliness. Am I reading you right? Fuck this. This situation is not a license to lash out at an entire group and say things that in any other circumstance would be offensive and inappropriate. I would answer your question about objecting to those comments, but it seems pretty clear that there's an impossibly high standard for what a guy has to do to not be "guilty" for this crowd. Not even the guy who posted this blog entry objected "out loud, audibly" to this introduction at the time.
  - jessedhillon 15y ago
    ...it seems pretty clear that there's an impossibly high standard for what a guy has to do to not be "guilty" for this crowd. Are you kidding me? Have you read the other 100+ comments on this thread? My own comment went from +11 to +4, so you have plenty of company. By "this crowd" you must mean the handful of people who aren't scrambling to sustain their invulnerable self-image by cobbling together some half-assed theory from the little bits of pop-psych they've read. What is your big upset about? If someone introduced you at a conference as the "guy who has never been laid" instead of "the guy who did brilliant thing X," you'd have no problem seeing why that would be hurtful. Shit, at least not being laid is the result of your own (in)action, and therefore something you've arguably earned; being "sexy" is an artifact of an organism's constitution. Perhaps by hurting you, I've sidestepped the intellectualizing process that prevents you, or someone like you, from understanding that there are fundamental emotional wounds involved, not abstract intellectual concepts. Unsolicited advice to any man who still doesn't get it: when someone says "that hurts me" don't come back with "no it doesn't, here's why..."
    - potatolicious 15y ago
      Unsolicited advice to you: when countering hurtful statements, don't throw more onto the pile. Your response to "that's not sexist!" is "yes it is you bunch 'o lonely virgins!" Is this HN or high school?
    - haberman 15y ago
      > My own comment went from +11 to +4 That says to me that your mean-spirited comment was plenty popular until I pointed out its hypocrisy. > What is your big upset about? [...] when someone says "that hurts me" don't come back with "no it doesn't, here's why..." But apparently you still don't see your own hypocrisy. > Shit, at least not being laid is the result of your own (in)action, and therefore something you've arguably earned And you still think it's ok to be mean for no reason, not to mention speaking of things you know absolutely nothing about. > being "sexy" is an artifact of an organism's constitution. Being "sexy" is also a compliment, however misguided or inappropriate it may have been in the situation in which it was given. Your comments on the other hand are intentionally mean. I don't deny that some people inappropriately defend the "sexy" comment. But it's a chicken shit move to use that as a license to suspend the rules of civility to make your point.
ben0x539 15y ago
I think the grandparent's post was important to this discussion because it makes the "inappropriate sex-related comments" issue thing slightly more relatable for those of us who have not had to deal with sexual harassment professionally.

angelbob 15y ago

Would they actually (out loud, audibly) object to those comments, or would they just "never make or defend" them? I ask because letting these things slide, or worse letting the comments seem approved-of by mass silence, is doing active harm.

haberman 15y ago
It sounds like you're arguing that men have to "earn" not having their genitalia discussed or being mocked for their loneliness. Am I reading you right? Fuck this. This situation is not a license to lash out at an entire group and say things that in any other circumstance would be offensive and inappropriate. I would answer your question about objecting to those comments, but it seems pretty clear that there's an impossibly high standard for what a guy has to do to not be "guilty" for this crowd. Not even the guy who posted this blog entry objected "out loud, audibly" to this introduction at the time.
- jessedhillon 15y ago
  ...it seems pretty clear that there's an impossibly high standard for what a guy has to do to not be "guilty" for this crowd. Are you kidding me? Have you read the other 100+ comments on this thread? My own comment went from +11 to +4, so you have plenty of company. By "this crowd" you must mean the handful of people who aren't scrambling to sustain their invulnerable self-image by cobbling together some half-assed theory from the little bits of pop-psych they've read. What is your big upset about? If someone introduced you at a conference as the "guy who has never been laid" instead of "the guy who did brilliant thing X," you'd have no problem seeing why that would be hurtful. Shit, at least not being laid is the result of your own (in)action, and therefore something you've arguably earned; being "sexy" is an artifact of an organism's constitution. Perhaps by hurting you, I've sidestepped the intellectualizing process that prevents you, or someone like you, from understanding that there are fundamental emotional wounds involved, not abstract intellectual concepts. Unsolicited advice to any man who still doesn't get it: when someone says "that hurts me" don't come back with "no it doesn't, here's why..."
  - potatolicious 15y ago
    Unsolicited advice to you: when countering hurtful statements, don't throw more onto the pile. Your response to "that's not sexist!" is "yes it is you bunch 'o lonely virgins!" Is this HN or high school?
  - haberman 15y ago
    > My own comment went from +11 to +4 That says to me that your mean-spirited comment was plenty popular until I pointed out its hypocrisy. > What is your big upset about? [...] when someone says "that hurts me" don't come back with "no it doesn't, here's why..." But apparently you still don't see your own hypocrisy. > Shit, at least not being laid is the result of your own (in)action, and therefore something you've arguably earned And you still think it's ok to be mean for no reason, not to mention speaking of things you know absolutely nothing about. > being "sexy" is an artifact of an organism's constitution. Being "sexy" is also a compliment, however misguided or inappropriate it may have been in the situation in which it was given. Your comments on the other hand are intentionally mean. I don't deny that some people inappropriately defend the "sexy" comment. But it's a chicken shit move to use that as a license to suspend the rules of civility to make your point.

ben0x539 15y ago

I think the grandparent's post was important to this discussion because it makes the "inappropriate sex-related comments" issue thing slightly more relatable for those of us who have not had to deal with sexual harassment professionally.