4 ms·

To me, it’s respectful to offer the intended recipients of your gift the choice to accept or not rather than forcing something on them they didn’t consent to.

DangitBobby 3y ago
The good thing about consent in this case is they can just "return" the gift by paying you their portion of the bill, and if they don't consent isn't really violated. You went from owing the restaurant to owing them. But why take the joys of life and make them difficult? Let your friend enjoy himself by being generous.
- stcroixx 3y ago
  While this behavior is joyous and enjoyablefor you, not everyone may share your point of view. Some find joy in paying their own way. Let others choose for themselves instead of deciding for them.
sneak 3y ago
Paying a bill isn't forcing anything on anyone. It literally doesn't involve them, it's between the payer (the gift giver) and the payee (the restaurant).
- stcroixx 3y ago
  If you pay someone else’s debt without their consent it absolutely involves them. Of course the restaurant doesn’t care who pays.
  - sneak 3y ago
    How could it possibly? They aren't a party to the transaction.
    - matheusmoreira 3y ago
      They are. Picking up someone's tab is analogous to extending them credit. There are people out there who hate being indebted to anyone.
      - sneak 3y ago
        No, credit happens only by mutual consent. Paying someone's bill does not obligate them to reimburse you; extending them credit does.
        matheusmoreira 3y ago
        It's still analogous to credit. Many people will feel like they owe you if you do it.
flamebreath447 3y ago
So is it disrespectful to want to gift someone a meal? I don’t understand why it has to be so black and white. Also the consent thing really sounds weird. Do you honestly go around making value judgements about when people did or did not seek your consent to this level of granularity? Why? Again I think if the first place you go to when offered a free, meaningful and well intended gift is consent, you internally have an issue that you need to handle.

DangitBobby 3y ago

The good thing about consent in this case is they can just "return" the gift by paying you their portion of the bill, and if they don't consent isn't really violated. You went from owing the restaurant to owing them. But why take the joys of life and make them difficult? Let your friend enjoy himself by being generous.

stcroixx 3y ago
While this behavior is joyous and enjoyablefor you, not everyone may share your point of view. Some find joy in paying their own way. Let others choose for themselves instead of deciding for them.

sneak 3y ago

Paying a bill isn't forcing anything on anyone. It literally doesn't involve them, it's between the payer (the gift giver) and the payee (the restaurant).

stcroixx 3y ago
If you pay someone else’s debt without their consent it absolutely involves them. Of course the restaurant doesn’t care who pays.
- sneak 3y ago
  How could it possibly? They aren't a party to the transaction.
  - matheusmoreira 3y ago
    They are. Picking up someone's tab is analogous to extending them credit. There are people out there who hate being indebted to anyone.
    - sneak 3y ago
      No, credit happens only by mutual consent. Paying someone's bill does not obligate them to reimburse you; extending them credit does.
      - matheusmoreira 3y ago
        It's still analogous to credit. Many people will feel like they owe you if you do it.

flamebreath447 3y ago

So is it disrespectful to want to gift someone a meal? I don’t understand why it has to be so black and white. Also the consent thing really sounds weird. Do you honestly go around making value judgements about when people did or did not seek your consent to this level of granularity? Why? Again I think if the first place you go to when offered a free, meaningful and well intended gift is consent, you internally have an issue that you need to handle.