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They will feel obligated to repay you, at least socially. Framing it explicitly in terms of monetary success -- or moreso, something you have that they don't --
by colanderman 3y ago
They will feel obligated to repay you, at least socially. Framing it explicitly in terms of monetary success -- or moreso, something you have that they don't -- I feel adds unnecessary value judgement.
Instead, suggest something they could do today which is of equal social cost to them and equal social benefit to you. Say -- if you paid for an expensive weekend vacation home, maybe next year they can host you at their Uncle Whoosit's place up in rural Maine.
- bryanlarsen 3y agoAnd now you're obligated to visit Uncle Whoosit or be shown up as a hypocrite. When people say that they want to spend money on friends & family with no obligation in return, they're network building. That they'd expect the favor to be returned if the situation were reversed. Even if nobody really expects the situation to be reversed. I guess we could lean into that: "When the zombie apocalypse happens, I expect you to have my back".
- colanderman 3y agoI think we'll have to agree to disagree here. If I don't value the means by which someone could reciprocate a gift, I don't give the gift. And I would not feel that a gift was genuine or meaningful if someone gifted me something expressly for the purpose of "network building", which I am unable to reciprocate in a way they find acceptable. It creates an awkward power imbalance that I don't think belongs in a healthy friendship.