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I don't understand this. I never had this problem. When you invite people for dinner, it's assumed you cook (and this pay for the food) anywhere I lived. Euro

I don't understand this. I never had this problem. When you invite people for dinner, it's assumed you cook (and this pay for the food) anywhere I lived. Europe, India, Asia that is. Drinks are also assumed to be on the host but most people will bring a bottle if they want to drink alcohol. But that's still no expected from the host unless explicitly verbalized with the invitation. When I invite eight people, each of them (or each couple) don't don't know how many we will be all together. When I shout people at a restaurant, I just secretly pay when I come back from the bathroom, after desserts have been ordered.

dnh44 3y ago
As far as I can tell in the latin part of Europe I think it's well understood that if you invite people to a restaurant for dinner it means that you will be paying (especially if the word invite is used). In the UK it depends on the background of people, and language would also make a difference. "Do you all want to grab some dinner" is different to "I'd like to invite you all out to dinner" >But that's still no expected from the host unless explicitly verbalized with the invitation. In Europe there would definitely be an expectation that alcohol would be provided (although perhaps not all of the alcohol depending on various factors). It would also be expected that guests bring a bottle of wine or flowers or something to that effect. That small gift should be separate to any alcohol brought for the purposes of consumption on the evening.
- ilyt 3y ago
  I dunno if I'd generalize it to "Europe". Here (Poland), at least with my parents generation there is really no such expectation, the "giving back" is just inviting them on a different occasion. Bringing anything extra of course happens but it was strictly optional and often just "look at what tasty stuff I made', like a bottle of home-made alcohol or some smoked ham. On some occasion like christmas it was often coordinated beforeand, like we all go to christmas to a certain relative but everyone was bringing some specific christmas dish, as to avoid any duplicates.
- virtualritz 3y ago
  > In Europe there would definitely be an expectation that alcohol would be provided [...] It would also be expected that guests bring a bottle of wine or flowers or something to that effect. Nope. I was born and grew up in Germany. My parents have friends in France and Italy whose kids and whos families I grew up with. I am regularly in Italy and France still but also other parts of Europe, particularly the south and Scandinavia and I have friends everywhere on this continent so dinner invitations when traveling are frequent. My experience over 40 years of this contradicts what you say.
  - dnh44 3y ago
    You regularly attend dinners where alcohol isn’t served? Or is the bringing something part that contradicts your experience?

dnh44 3y ago

As far as I can tell in the latin part of Europe I think it's well understood that if you invite people to a restaurant for dinner it means that you will be paying (especially if the word invite is used). In the UK it depends on the background of people, and language would also make a difference. "Do you all want to grab some dinner" is different to "I'd like to invite you all out to dinner" >But that's still no expected from the host unless explicitly verbalized with the invitation. In Europe there would definitely be an expectation that alcohol would be provided (although perhaps not all of the alcohol depending on various factors). It would also be expected that guests bring a bottle of wine or flowers or something to that effect. That small gift should be separate to any alcohol brought for the purposes of consumption on the evening.

ilyt 3y ago
I dunno if I'd generalize it to "Europe". Here (Poland), at least with my parents generation there is really no such expectation, the "giving back" is just inviting them on a different occasion. Bringing anything extra of course happens but it was strictly optional and often just "look at what tasty stuff I made', like a bottle of home-made alcohol or some smoked ham. On some occasion like christmas it was often coordinated beforeand, like we all go to christmas to a certain relative but everyone was bringing some specific christmas dish, as to avoid any duplicates.
virtualritz 3y ago
> In Europe there would definitely be an expectation that alcohol would be provided [...] It would also be expected that guests bring a bottle of wine or flowers or something to that effect. Nope. I was born and grew up in Germany. My parents have friends in France and Italy whose kids and whos families I grew up with. I am regularly in Italy and France still but also other parts of Europe, particularly the south and Scandinavia and I have friends everywhere on this continent so dinner invitations when traveling are frequent. My experience over 40 years of this contradicts what you say.
- dnh44 3y ago
  You regularly attend dinners where alcohol isn’t served? Or is the bringing something part that contradicts your experience?