4 ms·

How is describing a person as 'sexy' or 'attractive' sexist exactly?

whatusername 15y ago
Double standards are generally sexist. As long as you describe all your male presenters by how they look -- then it's not sexist at all.
- sp332 15y ago
  Or, even better, if you know the person personally and know that's how they present themselves, or at least you know they're OK with you calling them "sexy" in front of their spouse. Personal relationships trump general rules.
  - whatusername 15y ago
    It's still not a great idea in public scenarios like introducing a speaker at a conference. Completely fine for private scenarios like introducing them to a friend.
- yummyfajitas 15y ago
  What about if you only describe presenters of any sort by how they look if there is something distinctive about it? I've been to a math talk where the speaker was introduced as the "most buff mathematical physicist in the US". It was probably true - he was also an amateur bodybuilder. Most speakers don't get such an introduction, only the ones with a distinctive (and good) appearance do. (Similarly, in a CS talk, a speaker was introduced as having "the greatest shirts in all of computing." It was probably true - I've never seen a more blinged out shirt outside of a Filipino nightclub.)
- rmc 15y ago
  As long as you describe all your male presenters by how they look -- then it's not sexist at all. It depends on how you describe them. Straight men have odd ways of thinking they are describing appearances of men in the same way as women, when in fact they are sexualing the women and then complimenting how sharp a dresser the man is. They give straight male compliments to men, rather than sexualising them. as I said elsewhere, If you want to see how men can be sexually idolised, look at the gay community. That's men looking at men. Look at the people at gay pride parades, soft core porn or adverts aimed at the gay community (e.g. for gay bars). (Or go to amazon, look at the DVD covers for gay films) Do you see sharply dressed men with a fine hair cut? No, you see abs, you see topless men, you see bulges in tight briefs, you see wet speedos. This is how you could sexually exploit men's appearance. If you just act like the cast of Mad Men ("Nice tits Peggy, nice shoes pete"), you have double standards.
zasz 15y ago
Because it makes it sound like you're more interested in hitting on that person than interacting with them professionally. And unless you're inclined to call everyone, regardless of gender, "sexy," it shows that you can't work with members of the opposite gender without putting a lot of emphasis on how bangable they are. Being called "sexy" tends to emphasize that you're a nicely arranged sack of meat, not a competent professional, and can make a woman (or man) think that your genitals are going to get in the way of a respectful working relationship. Not only that, but sexy people tend to be perceived as less competent. Just think of the "blonde bimbo" and "unattractive female in software engineering" stereotypes. Think about how dumb jocks get the high school cheerleader, and skinny, ugly nerds don't. Now, I'm sure some men (or women) can successfully use that word to describe their colleagues and still work productively with them, but quite a few men can't. For an egregious example, see this profile about Sheryl Sandberg: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/07/11/110711fa_fact_auletta?currentPage=all http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/07/11/110711fa_fact_... "Dina Kaplan, the co-founder of Blip.tv, says that when she met with angel investors to raise funds she dressed nicely, and in a meeting with a potential funder he told her, “Here’s what we do, Dina. We’re going to spend half the meeting with you pitching me, and half the meeting with me hitting on you!” “I felt nauseous,” she says. “I tried to laugh it off. I asked, ‘Of all the things you’re working on, what most excites you?’ He said, ‘Seeing you naked tonight.’" When you've got men like that out there describing their female coworkers as sexy, you're going to have to work pretty hard to convince women not to lump you in with them. It's unfair, but that's how stereotypes work.
- AJ007 15y ago
  Sounds to me like what guys that have trouble getting laid say around women.
jballanc 15y ago
Why did you have to, just now, create a dedicated account to say this if you honestly believed what you say?
- ShardPhoenix 15y ago
  If someone honestly disagrees with something that's strongly believed by the mainstream, they may well want to remain anonymous when expressing it.
  - jballanc 15y ago
    Um, that's kinda the point. I may not think calling someone "sexy" is sexist. I may think calling someone "Frank" is extremely offensive. It doesn't matter what I think! Concepts like "sexism" are based on social norms.

Double standards are generally sexist. As long as you describe all your male presenters by how they look -- then it's not sexist at all.

sp332 15y ago
Or, even better, if you know the person personally and know that's how they present themselves, or at least you know they're OK with you calling them "sexy" in front of their spouse. Personal relationships trump general rules.
- whatusername 15y ago
  It's still not a great idea in public scenarios like introducing a speaker at a conference. Completely fine for private scenarios like introducing them to a friend.
yummyfajitas 15y ago
What about if you only describe presenters of any sort by how they look if there is something distinctive about it? I've been to a math talk where the speaker was introduced as the "most buff mathematical physicist in the US". It was probably true - he was also an amateur bodybuilder. Most speakers don't get such an introduction, only the ones with a distinctive (and good) appearance do. (Similarly, in a CS talk, a speaker was introduced as having "the greatest shirts in all of computing." It was probably true - I've never seen a more blinged out shirt outside of a Filipino nightclub.)
rmc 15y ago
As long as you describe all your male presenters by how they look -- then it's not sexist at all. It depends on how you describe them. Straight men have odd ways of thinking they are describing appearances of men in the same way as women, when in fact they are sexualing the women and then complimenting how sharp a dresser the man is. They give straight male compliments to men, rather than sexualising them. as I said elsewhere, If you want to see how men can be sexually idolised, look at the gay community. That's men looking at men. Look at the people at gay pride parades, soft core porn or adverts aimed at the gay community (e.g. for gay bars). (Or go to amazon, look at the DVD covers for gay films) Do you see sharply dressed men with a fine hair cut? No, you see abs, you see topless men, you see bulges in tight briefs, you see wet speedos. This is how you could sexually exploit men's appearance. If you just act like the cast of Mad Men ("Nice tits Peggy, nice shoes pete"), you have double standards.

zasz 15y ago

Because it makes it sound like you're more interested in hitting on that person than interacting with them professionally. And unless you're inclined to call everyone, regardless of gender, "sexy," it shows that you can't work with members of the opposite gender without putting a lot of emphasis on how bangable they are. Being called "sexy" tends to emphasize that you're a nicely arranged sack of meat, not a competent professional, and can make a woman (or man) think that your genitals are going to get in the way of a respectful working relationship. Not only that, but sexy people tend to be perceived as less competent. Just think of the "blonde bimbo" and "unattractive female in software engineering" stereotypes. Think about how dumb jocks get the high school cheerleader, and skinny, ugly nerds don't. Now, I'm sure some men (or women) can successfully use that word to describe their colleagues and still work productively with them, but quite a few men can't. For an egregious example, see this profile about Sheryl Sandberg: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/07/11/110711fa_fact_auletta?currentPage=all http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/07/11/110711fa_fact_... "Dina Kaplan, the co-founder of Blip.tv, says that when she met with angel investors to raise funds she dressed nicely, and in a meeting with a potential funder he told her, “Here’s what we do, Dina. We’re going to spend half the meeting with you pitching me, and half the meeting with me hitting on you!” “I felt nauseous,” she says. “I tried to laugh it off. I asked, ‘Of all the things you’re working on, what most excites you?’ He said, ‘Seeing you naked tonight.’" When you've got men like that out there describing their female coworkers as sexy, you're going to have to work pretty hard to convince women not to lump you in with them. It's unfair, but that's how stereotypes work.

AJ007 15y ago
Sounds to me like what guys that have trouble getting laid say around women.

jballanc 15y ago

Why did you have to, just now, create a dedicated account to say this if you honestly believed what you say?

ShardPhoenix 15y ago
If someone honestly disagrees with something that's strongly believed by the mainstream, they may well want to remain anonymous when expressing it.
- jballanc 15y ago
  Um, that's kinda the point. I may not think calling someone "sexy" is sexist. I may think calling someone "Frank" is extremely offensive. It doesn't matter what I think! Concepts like "sexism" are based on social norms.