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If I'm completely honest, the author comes off as deeply self-important. The passage particularly about his date not appreciating his oration of T.S. Eliot's Wa

If I'm completely honest, the author comes off as deeply self-important. The passage particularly about his date not appreciating his oration of T.S. Eliot's Wasteland is particularly, and forgive the term, cringey. It reads awfully judgemental. Are we really to think Anna superficial or lesser b/c she didn't swoon at his recital of a famously cryptic poem? Maybe she doesn't like Eliot, maybe he read poorly, etc... All I'm saying is this article really seems to do Anna dirty.

demetrius 4y ago
100% this. Also, how he is brave and romantic, unlike most people. We need more discussion about dating apps (e.g. I think creators of such apps are not incentivised to empower users to create long-lasting relationships, as such users would stop paying for the app), but this is not it.
- georgex7 4y ago
  Hehe I am not saying that I am more brave and romantic than most people :) My point is that dating is one way that I try to develop these qualities of mind.
jsmith45 4y ago
I agree, the whole section on the date felt really weird to me. Like the author was putting in significant effort to emulate some form of artistic writing style for effect, but badly missing the mark. The later sections look like they are trying to be an argument about why dating services (and other changes) are a problem. Unfortunately, rather than any attempt to use fact, it is an argument from emotion, and not of any of the forms of emotion based arguments that seem to actually work, but more of an excuse to "wax poetic". > Avoiding opportunities to develop courage is a terrible idea. Bravery is more important than other qualities of body and mind because it is the cornerstone of a well-lived life. ... Um... what? that is a hell of a claim, and the author treats it as completely self-evident. He then goes on to talk about romance in a similar fashion. This time, there there is a point there. "Dating" apps tend to devolve quickly into into hookup apps. Which of course are not romantic. But then again, neither is going out to the bar/club/etc looking for a one night stand. Furthermore, none of those apps were optimizing for romance anyway. The entire design of Tinder for example is shallow. Photos front and center, rest of the profile hidden below the fold. Encourages being completely shallow and swiping primarily based on appearance.
- georgex7 4y ago
  (Hey - I wrote this.) > emulate some form of artistic writing style for effect No, this is just how I write... > it is an argument from emotion It is my personal experience. > that is a hell of a claim, and the author treats it as completely self-evident. The next two sentences clarify why I make this claim: "Courage enables us to uphold other virtues, and it is the defining factor of potential: much of the difference between what your life is and what it could be comes down to your valor in trying moments." Sure, there isn't a "data-based approach here," but maybe you can catch my drift...? > neither is going out to the bar/club/etc looking for a one night stand Agree with this. I could have expanded on it more, but I wanted to limit the piece to dating apps. > none of those apps were optimizing for romance anyway This is the problem: everyone uses them; they take away romance; culture without romance no good.
georgex7 4y ago
(Hey - I wrote this.) > The passage particularly about his date not appreciating his oration of T.S. Eliot's Wasteland is particularly, and forgive the term, cringey. I think it's great for two reasons: (1) It's funny because of how ridiculous it is. Go on a Tinder date, go back, hook up, and then go through the Wasteland and she couldn't be less interested. (2) It's as clear an example as you can get of where we are at as a culture: sex, alienation, not a care in the world for substance. > It reads awfully judgemental. It is. > Maybe she doesn't like Eliot, maybe he read poorly, etc... Lol, no. > All I'm saying is this article really seems to do Anna dirty. It is not about "Anna" specifically. The example is about a general pattern.
voldacar 4y ago
I don't think the article is about Anna
- georgex7 4y ago
  Thank you, yes

demetrius 4y ago

100% this. Also, how he is brave and romantic, unlike most people. We need more discussion about dating apps (e.g. I think creators of such apps are not incentivised to empower users to create long-lasting relationships, as such users would stop paying for the app), but this is not it.

georgex7 4y ago
Hehe I am not saying that I am more brave and romantic than most people :) My point is that dating is one way that I try to develop these qualities of mind.

jsmith45 4y ago

I agree, the whole section on the date felt really weird to me. Like the author was putting in significant effort to emulate some form of artistic writing style for effect, but badly missing the mark. The later sections look like they are trying to be an argument about why dating services (and other changes) are a problem. Unfortunately, rather than any attempt to use fact, it is an argument from emotion, and not of any of the forms of emotion based arguments that seem to actually work, but more of an excuse to "wax poetic". > Avoiding opportunities to develop courage is a terrible idea. Bravery is more important than other qualities of body and mind because it is the cornerstone of a well-lived life. ... Um... what? that is a hell of a claim, and the author treats it as completely self-evident. He then goes on to talk about romance in a similar fashion. This time, there there is a point there. "Dating" apps tend to devolve quickly into into hookup apps. Which of course are not romantic. But then again, neither is going out to the bar/club/etc looking for a one night stand. Furthermore, none of those apps were optimizing for romance anyway. The entire design of Tinder for example is shallow. Photos front and center, rest of the profile hidden below the fold. Encourages being completely shallow and swiping primarily based on appearance.

georgex7 4y ago
(Hey - I wrote this.) > emulate some form of artistic writing style for effect No, this is just how I write... > it is an argument from emotion It is my personal experience. > that is a hell of a claim, and the author treats it as completely self-evident. The next two sentences clarify why I make this claim: "Courage enables us to uphold other virtues, and it is the defining factor of potential: much of the difference between what your life is and what it could be comes down to your valor in trying moments." Sure, there isn't a "data-based approach here," but maybe you can catch my drift...? > neither is going out to the bar/club/etc looking for a one night stand Agree with this. I could have expanded on it more, but I wanted to limit the piece to dating apps. > none of those apps were optimizing for romance anyway This is the problem: everyone uses them; they take away romance; culture without romance no good.

georgex7 4y ago

(Hey - I wrote this.) > The passage particularly about his date not appreciating his oration of T.S. Eliot's Wasteland is particularly, and forgive the term, cringey. I think it's great for two reasons: (1) It's funny because of how ridiculous it is. Go on a Tinder date, go back, hook up, and then go through the Wasteland and she couldn't be less interested. (2) It's as clear an example as you can get of where we are at as a culture: sex, alienation, not a care in the world for substance. > It reads awfully judgemental. It is. > Maybe she doesn't like Eliot, maybe he read poorly, etc... Lol, no. > All I'm saying is this article really seems to do Anna dirty. It is not about "Anna" specifically. The example is about a general pattern.

voldacar 4y ago

I don't think the article is about Anna

georgex7 4y ago
Thank you, yes