Well, perhaps the problem isn't where you think it lies. They may be willing to acknowledge your question and answer it with a whispered "yes", if you at least

Well, perhaps the problem isn't where you think it lies. They may be willing to acknowledge your question and answer it with a whispered "yes", if you at least ask it in a way that cause them no excessive shame. Your denialism that the answer could be yes isn't quite the same thing as it being an "obvious no". We all wander through a landscape of horrific truths that we blind ourselves to just to remain sane.