5 ms·

why did a 12yo child have unmonitored access to the internet?

jsemrau 3y ago
That is a valid question to ask. I have kids around that age and restricted Insta/TikTok/etc to <30 min per day. Yet from 13yo most platforms see kids as adults.
throwaway59601 3y ago
If you think your 12y/o doesn't have unmonitored access to the internet, you're very naive. Especially if you decided to block social media, kids will not have any of that. I used to be a boy scout leader. 10y/o kids routinely broke any and all blocking their parents put on. If they couldn't do it, they bought an old cheap smartphone and went to their friends/McDonald's with it.
ChatGTP 3y ago
Because we’ve made the Internet so accessible and such an integral part of a children’s lives ? Even just for entertainment purposes, I see kids just staring at screens all day everywhere I go. I mean, it’s a silly question no offence.
- kypro 3y ago
  It's quite easy to restrict access to kid's devices. We use Google family and the kids all hate us because they have to ask our permission whenever they want to install anything. We also get to see activity reports and we talk to them often about bad people online and why they need to be careful. I understand you can't monitor a child 24/7, but you can be careful with what devices children have access to and what they can and can't do on those devices. It's also worth remembering that the criticisms of social networks and calls for more monitoring of private communication can be applied to any crime. Do we want Facebook reporting people who it suspects could be committing a "hate-crime" for example? What about drug users, is that Facebook's responsibility too? At the end of the day parents have to accept some responsibility to protect their own children. Yes, it's hard to do perfectly, but allowing a 12 yo to use social media then meet up with a stranger they met online seems like a total failure on the parent's part here. It's like letting a 5 year old play outside then once the kid gets hit by a car complaining that the cars are the problem because car manufactures care more about selling transportation devices than protecting kids. If you let your children chat to strangers and meet up with people they don't know then bad stuff will likely happen no matter what form of communication they're using.
  - scarface74 3y ago
    Do your kids have friends? I can guarantee you that they are using their friends devices.
    - vorpalhex 3y ago
      Which is fine because as op explained, they talked to their kids and explained the issue of people online being nefarious. In no realm of security do we depend on slapping computers out of peoples hands and telling them not to do something. Don't do it with your kids security either.
    - giantg2 3y ago
      I look at that kind of like, do you eat junk/fast food all the time at home, or just occasionally when you go out? It's going to do a lot more harm if it's constant vs a few cheat meals here or there. Same concept for limiting device time and privileges. Also, it can help to know what restrictions the friends have and talk to their parents. At least in my day this was done to make sure there weren't any obvious physical dangers. Or has getting to know the parents of your kid's friends gone out of fashion?
      - scarface74 3y ago
        Can you really talk to all of the parents of all of the kids your child goes to school with and spend time with?
        giantg2 3y ago
        Ostensibly locations like school and other organized activities have some level of direct supervision. Private situations like being at another's home is more where this come into play. That's more likely to be where a kid has access and opportunities for things like alcohol, drugs, weapons, misuse of the internet etc.
        scarface74 3y ago
waselighis 3y ago
Most 12yo children have unmonitored access to the internet. Many parents have to work and can't monitor their children 24/7. Children are naturally curious, so even if you setup parental controls and such, they'll find ways around it, through friends/classmates and however else. Many other parents are simply lazy/irresponsible and will give their kids a phone/tablet so they can binge watch Netflix unbothered (most parents I've known fall under this category).
psychlops 3y ago
It's unusual if they didn't have unmonitored access to the internet. Helicopter parenting takes a lot of energy and technical parents can only do so much. A 12yo without a phone is a social pariah. What is odd to me in the story was the absence of a moral compass of the child and lack of knowledge of the internet as a potentially hostile place.
- throwaway59601 3y ago
  That's what happens when parents restrict kids instead of teaching them about the dangers.
  - WeylandYutani 3y ago
    Americans believe children are pure innocent creatures who should not be told about sex. Hilariously churches are hotbeds of pedophilia. And the Republican party advocates child marriage.
    - listenallyall 3y ago
      I guess I'm missing the joke... what's hilarious about pedophilia?
  - mc32 3y ago
    Because we know that adults who get addicted to deleterious drugs in adulthood didn't know the dangers of it, right? Sometimes availability and the wrong situation can land people in a lot of trouble. Finance is another area where despite knowing the severe drawbacks. People in the wrong circumstance may seek out loan sharks.
    - throwaway59601 3y ago
      Not sure why you're bringing up drugs here. We're talking about webpages, not substances directly altering your neurochemistry. But yeah, indeed - usually it's a fault of parenting. Instead of properly teaching about the dangers and responsibility (in case of weed/alcohol, or finance) they made it a tabu.

That is a valid question to ask. I have kids around that age and restricted Insta/TikTok/etc to <30 min per day. Yet from 13yo most platforms see kids as adults.

throwaway59601 3y ago

If you think your 12y/o doesn't have unmonitored access to the internet, you're very naive. Especially if you decided to block social media, kids will not have any of that. I used to be a boy scout leader. 10y/o kids routinely broke any and all blocking their parents put on. If they couldn't do it, they bought an old cheap smartphone and went to their friends/McDonald's with it.

ChatGTP 3y ago

Because we’ve made the Internet so accessible and such an integral part of a children’s lives ? Even just for entertainment purposes, I see kids just staring at screens all day everywhere I go. I mean, it’s a silly question no offence.

kypro 3y ago
It's quite easy to restrict access to kid's devices. We use Google family and the kids all hate us because they have to ask our permission whenever they want to install anything. We also get to see activity reports and we talk to them often about bad people online and why they need to be careful. I understand you can't monitor a child 24/7, but you can be careful with what devices children have access to and what they can and can't do on those devices. It's also worth remembering that the criticisms of social networks and calls for more monitoring of private communication can be applied to any crime. Do we want Facebook reporting people who it suspects could be committing a "hate-crime" for example? What about drug users, is that Facebook's responsibility too? At the end of the day parents have to accept some responsibility to protect their own children. Yes, it's hard to do perfectly, but allowing a 12 yo to use social media then meet up with a stranger they met online seems like a total failure on the parent's part here. It's like letting a 5 year old play outside then once the kid gets hit by a car complaining that the cars are the problem because car manufactures care more about selling transportation devices than protecting kids. If you let your children chat to strangers and meet up with people they don't know then bad stuff will likely happen no matter what form of communication they're using.
- scarface74 3y ago
  Do your kids have friends? I can guarantee you that they are using their friends devices.
  - vorpalhex 3y ago
    Which is fine because as op explained, they talked to their kids and explained the issue of people online being nefarious. In no realm of security do we depend on slapping computers out of peoples hands and telling them not to do something. Don't do it with your kids security either.
  - giantg2 3y ago
    I look at that kind of like, do you eat junk/fast food all the time at home, or just occasionally when you go out? It's going to do a lot more harm if it's constant vs a few cheat meals here or there. Same concept for limiting device time and privileges. Also, it can help to know what restrictions the friends have and talk to their parents. At least in my day this was done to make sure there weren't any obvious physical dangers. Or has getting to know the parents of your kid's friends gone out of fashion?
    - scarface74 3y ago
      Can you really talk to all of the parents of all of the kids your child goes to school with and spend time with?
      - giantg2 3y ago
        Ostensibly locations like school and other organized activities have some level of direct supervision. Private situations like being at another's home is more where this come into play. That's more likely to be where a kid has access and opportunities for things like alcohol, drugs, weapons, misuse of the internet etc.
        scarface74 3y ago

waselighis 3y ago

Most 12yo children have unmonitored access to the internet. Many parents have to work and can't monitor their children 24/7. Children are naturally curious, so even if you setup parental controls and such, they'll find ways around it, through friends/classmates and however else. Many other parents are simply lazy/irresponsible and will give their kids a phone/tablet so they can binge watch Netflix unbothered (most parents I've known fall under this category).

psychlops 3y ago

It's unusual if they didn't have unmonitored access to the internet. Helicopter parenting takes a lot of energy and technical parents can only do so much. A 12yo without a phone is a social pariah. What is odd to me in the story was the absence of a moral compass of the child and lack of knowledge of the internet as a potentially hostile place.

throwaway59601 3y ago
That's what happens when parents restrict kids instead of teaching them about the dangers.
- WeylandYutani 3y ago
  Americans believe children are pure innocent creatures who should not be told about sex. Hilariously churches are hotbeds of pedophilia. And the Republican party advocates child marriage.
  - listenallyall 3y ago
    I guess I'm missing the joke... what's hilarious about pedophilia?
- mc32 3y ago
  Because we know that adults who get addicted to deleterious drugs in adulthood didn't know the dangers of it, right? Sometimes availability and the wrong situation can land people in a lot of trouble. Finance is another area where despite knowing the severe drawbacks. People in the wrong circumstance may seek out loan sharks.
  - throwaway59601 3y ago
    Not sure why you're bringing up drugs here. We're talking about webpages, not substances directly altering your neurochemistry. But yeah, indeed - usually it's a fault of parenting. Instead of properly teaching about the dangers and responsibility (in case of weed/alcohol, or finance) they made it a tabu.