This was more or less correct. It's hard to express the trauma without the vitriol. My grandma disowned me and my parents were basically in a state of disappoi

This was more or less correct. It's hard to express the trauma without the vitriol. My grandma disowned me and my parents were basically in a state of disappointment for an extended period of time in my developing years. The lesson was clear. To practice christian love means only loving Christians. That's not what the Jesus I learned about taught. The way Christians acted was frequently in violation of the values they claimed they had. A great historian brought up the idea of democracy being something you are, or something you do. Well to many Christianity is something they are, not something they do. If Christianity is something you are, then your sins are forgiven and you don't have to live your life in any particular way, you are christian by your very being. If Christianity is something you do, then actions would align with christian values, and you are only as christian as the way you act. So large swathes of society adopt a core axiom to their belief system: "my traditions are the truth, contradictory or not." And once somebody believes a contradiction is the truth, real actual truth must be formed around it or rejected. Once you take a contradictory axiom into your belief system, your system services authority not rationality. So you can either have a belief system formed around the idea that contradictions indicate "not truth" or a belief system based on the idea that there is one truth that must be built off. This makes Christianity the enemy of rationality and an enemy of my own belief system. The christian requirement of authority requires resistance, thus militant-ism.