Yes, and you have an advantage versus your past self: programming ability. Math can be modeled in software. Look at Mathematica. If math and computation are so

Yes, and you have an advantage versus your past self: programming ability. Math can be modeled in software. Look at Mathematica. If math and computation are so different, how could the latter render the former? Write code to reflect your growing understanding, and you may develop your own intuition. Check out math videos too. By their nature, videos visualize the abstract; this will help you piggyback on existing imagination. Math Overflow to look at math questions will also help. At first, it may be a slog, but it's an easy way to stretch your brain with new vocabulary. You never know what may work. Try everything. Even smashing Schaum's Outlines.