I ended up setting up a gmail account just for this domain and routing outgoing mail through it. If you set it up right it still has your self hosted email in t

I ended up setting up a gmail account just for this domain and routing outgoing mail through it. If you set it up right it still has your self hosted email in the From: field and replies go back to it, so it's pretty much transparent. Not optimal but easiest solution. I can send to hotmail just fine now and gmail doesn't go to spam anymore.