This is basically OCD distilled, from an obsession and the intense dread it causes like nothing else can, that might be able to be temporarily relieved via comp

This is basically OCD distilled, from an obsession and the intense dread it causes like nothing else can, that might be able to be temporarily relieved via compulsion/avoidance/etc. Not saying you have it, I'm just drawing parallels between the way people's brains seem to suffer.