3 ms·

Hi, I realize this is unorthodox, but there are so few people like you, that I'm hoping you can offer me some advice. My wife was diagnosed as BP1 at 18 due to

Hi, I realize this is unorthodox, but there are so few people like you, that I'm hoping you can offer me some advice. My wife was diagnosed as BP1 at 18 due to psychosis associated with mania. Many years later in her mid 30s, I believe she's been misdiagnosed, as she suffers from persistent auditory hallucinations even when not manic, which I believe is the threshold for schizoaffective BP. I've actually just only come to learn about this disorder recently. I've thought she was BP1 this whole time, but I think there's more to it now. The issue is that I cannot convince her that she's hallucinating, even though I'm positive she is. Indeed, she's hallucinated me saying things, and those are just about the only ones I can convince her. But that only happened one time. What's more, she believes she's hearing things from her doctors, so she switches them constantly. I can't get a hold of them either, of course, because as you probably know, family members have next to zero rights when it comes to this kind of thing. How can I ever convince her to seek help and medication for these hallucinations? How can I get a doctor to listen to me and take me seriously about what's happening to her? It seems impossible to break through. Even when I do convince her that a specific hallucination was as such, she never considers the possibility on her own. This leads to situations where she's cut out her entire family because she believes they are saying terrible things about her when her back is turned, or through walls. We can't pass strangers on the street because when we do, she's sure they're talking shit about her. She can't hold down a doctor because when she leaves, she thinks he is gossiping about her with the receptionist, and when they talk, of course she never brings up hallucinations she's having. Thank God for remote work because she hasn't had a serious job since 2014 until now. I don't know how to break this cycle, and it's only getting worse. How were you convinced that you were hallucinating?

FollowingTheDao 4y ago
> How were you convinced that you were hallucinating? To be honest, some things were easier to spot than others. I used to have olfactory hallucination and it drove on ex girlfriend nuts cause I was always smelling things that were not there. I just invited she was not smelling anything. I also have closed eye visions. These appear as faces and scenes when I close my eyes, mostly in the evening that are quite visually crisp. Most of the faces are frightening. I did not know I was dealing with this till I started Zyprexa and they stopped. The visual hallucinations were easier since I would say "Did you see that cat?" and I would get strange looks or someone else there would not see them. And seriously, watching "A Beautiful Mind" helped me with this. The thing that helped me most was Buddhism and meditation. Buddhism lead me to thinking more about the nature of perception and meditation allowed me to perceive without reaction so I can judge things better. A also have perceptual changes, like being on psychedelics, but these are not hallucinations. I feel like I can see around things or everything has light trails or colors are really intense. When I was early in mediation the floor would always start waving like an ocean. When I was young I saw the faces of people on the TV change and I thought I was seeing them as they really were. I get a lot of the talk that your girlfriend has, and that is hard an I still deal with it but mostly by ignoring it. It is by far the most difficult. Its base is paranoia I feel because those voices are always saying negative things, like I did not pay for my coffee right. Ha! Just happened today! By the way, COVID threw me into my worst psychosis ever. I do not know what to say about helping her. I was in her space and I know how it feels. No one could convince me of anything. I thought the water was "too blue" coming out of my faucet that I called the water department twice for them to check it. 1) Don't take things she does personally. That eases your stress. 2) Do not directly contradict her hallucinations but try guided questioning about them. That is what 30 years of therapy taught me. I question everything now. 3) You can call her doctor and leave a message. 4) I do not recommend ever having her involuntarily committed unless she is a serious danger. But this is not something anyone else can force her into, it is a process of self discovery, a Shaman's journey. And maybe phrase it as that; A Shaman's Journey. I lost my whole family, but frankly they were not good for me anyway. And I still have episodes, as you can see if you go through my history here, but I am much more stable now than ever and no longer need medications. Good luck and if your want to email me: followingdao@proton.me
LeonTheremin 4y ago
[flagged]
- FollowingTheDao 4y ago
  > Schizophrenia is electromagnetic interference I agree that EMFs play a role in mood disorders via activator of voltage gated ion channels. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780531/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780531/ > caused by terrorists with access to advanced weaponry. I do not see any evidence for this. And I love you. Take care of yourself.
evandale 4y ago
I wish I could help you more but the only advice I can offer is that I agree with you that it doesn't sound like BP1. I was diagnosed with BP1 and had to be admitted involuntarily. Based on my own experience and the experiences of other people described to me who I met in the ward it's not common for BP patients to hear outside voices. Outside voices seemed like a schizophrenic symptom. For me, when I'm manic or hypomanic the "power" always comes from within. The only way I can describe it is that I don't get "told" things from BP, I feel them. So while a schizophrenic might think a friend, family, God, or a higher power is telling them something, with BP that comes from within as an indescribable feeling. I might wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I have to look through the window and I'm going to find something there. I don't know what's going to be there, it's usually always nothing, and after I do it I'm left kinda confused and frustrated because I know I had a reason to look out the window, but I have no logical explanation or ability to describe why. It's just a fleeting moment I have to act on that instant and the feeling disappears when I carry out the action and I get no satisfaction. I got a bit lucky because this all happened during the height of covid which resulted in me thinking I had covid because I was so confused with what was happening to me (waking up in middle of the night, needing to go places, feeling like I had to be at specific place at a specific time for some event but nothing was there, wanting to switch careers from software eng to lawyer etc.) that I went to the emergency room a couple times in the same day to get tested for covid and they recommended I come see them the next morning and talk to someone about what's happening to me. I did that, had a manic moment waiting for the doctor the next morning in the waiting room and then and was stuck in the psych ward involuntary. Lucky for me being hypomanic or manic is so irrational to me and the thoughts I have get so irrational that I know how to catch it early and avoid full blown episodes. That's the only way you may be able to convince your wife - if she understands her thoughts and feelings are irrational hopefully you can convince her to seek help. The other thing is the cyclical nature of the diseases. I can tell my psychiatrist ahead of time in May to up my meds because June - September are my roughest months for my mania and I can feel it start to come on late May. Bipolar you'll cycle through depression in the winter and mania in the spring/summer generally. Schizophrenia from my understanding has 3 stages. If your wife goes from depression to mania on a dime based on the seasons that sounds more like BP. If she doesn't have the mood swings and hears voices it's probably schizophrenia. I'm surprised your wife would accept and live with her BP1 diagnosis but not consider the possibility that she may be schizophrenic. I would start with the irrationality of the strangers talking about her. Why does she think strangers would talk about her? Leave the possibility open that maybe the family is, don't dispute that too much, and focus on the strangers and doctors. You can't even get doctors to talk to you about her, why would they talk about her behind her back to other people? Also be sure not take the questions too far. If she's getting upset, confused, or angry with the questions you should stop because you could be aggravating the situation. Don't accuse her of not making sense or sounding crazy, just ask why she thinks what's she thinking. Good luck with whatever it is, sounds like she has a terrible disease either way :(

FollowingTheDao 4y ago

> How were you convinced that you were hallucinating? To be honest, some things were easier to spot than others. I used to have olfactory hallucination and it drove on ex girlfriend nuts cause I was always smelling things that were not there. I just invited she was not smelling anything. I also have closed eye visions. These appear as faces and scenes when I close my eyes, mostly in the evening that are quite visually crisp. Most of the faces are frightening. I did not know I was dealing with this till I started Zyprexa and they stopped. The visual hallucinations were easier since I would say "Did you see that cat?" and I would get strange looks or someone else there would not see them. And seriously, watching "A Beautiful Mind" helped me with this. The thing that helped me most was Buddhism and meditation. Buddhism lead me to thinking more about the nature of perception and meditation allowed me to perceive without reaction so I can judge things better. A also have perceptual changes, like being on psychedelics, but these are not hallucinations. I feel like I can see around things or everything has light trails or colors are really intense. When I was early in mediation the floor would always start waving like an ocean. When I was young I saw the faces of people on the TV change and I thought I was seeing them as they really were. I get a lot of the talk that your girlfriend has, and that is hard an I still deal with it but mostly by ignoring it. It is by far the most difficult. Its base is paranoia I feel because those voices are always saying negative things, like I did not pay for my coffee right. Ha! Just happened today! By the way, COVID threw me into my worst psychosis ever. I do not know what to say about helping her. I was in her space and I know how it feels. No one could convince me of anything. I thought the water was "too blue" coming out of my faucet that I called the water department twice for them to check it. 1) Don't take things she does personally. That eases your stress. 2) Do not directly contradict her hallucinations but try guided questioning about them. That is what 30 years of therapy taught me. I question everything now. 3) You can call her doctor and leave a message. 4) I do not recommend ever having her involuntarily committed unless she is a serious danger. But this is not something anyone else can force her into, it is a process of self discovery, a Shaman's journey. And maybe phrase it as that; A Shaman's Journey. I lost my whole family, but frankly they were not good for me anyway. And I still have episodes, as you can see if you go through my history here, but I am much more stable now than ever and no longer need medications. Good luck and if your want to email me: followingdao@proton.me

LeonTheremin 4y ago

[flagged]

FollowingTheDao 4y ago
> Schizophrenia is electromagnetic interference I agree that EMFs play a role in mood disorders via activator of voltage gated ion channels. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780531/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780531/ > caused by terrorists with access to advanced weaponry. I do not see any evidence for this. And I love you. Take care of yourself.

evandale 4y ago

I wish I could help you more but the only advice I can offer is that I agree with you that it doesn't sound like BP1. I was diagnosed with BP1 and had to be admitted involuntarily. Based on my own experience and the experiences of other people described to me who I met in the ward it's not common for BP patients to hear outside voices. Outside voices seemed like a schizophrenic symptom. For me, when I'm manic or hypomanic the "power" always comes from within. The only way I can describe it is that I don't get "told" things from BP, I feel them. So while a schizophrenic might think a friend, family, God, or a higher power is telling them something, with BP that comes from within as an indescribable feeling. I might wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I have to look through the window and I'm going to find something there. I don't know what's going to be there, it's usually always nothing, and after I do it I'm left kinda confused and frustrated because I know I had a reason to look out the window, but I have no logical explanation or ability to describe why. It's just a fleeting moment I have to act on that instant and the feeling disappears when I carry out the action and I get no satisfaction. I got a bit lucky because this all happened during the height of covid which resulted in me thinking I had covid because I was so confused with what was happening to me (waking up in middle of the night, needing to go places, feeling like I had to be at specific place at a specific time for some event but nothing was there, wanting to switch careers from software eng to lawyer etc.) that I went to the emergency room a couple times in the same day to get tested for covid and they recommended I come see them the next morning and talk to someone about what's happening to me. I did that, had a manic moment waiting for the doctor the next morning in the waiting room and then and was stuck in the psych ward involuntary. Lucky for me being hypomanic or manic is so irrational to me and the thoughts I have get so irrational that I know how to catch it early and avoid full blown episodes. That's the only way you may be able to convince your wife - if she understands her thoughts and feelings are irrational hopefully you can convince her to seek help. The other thing is the cyclical nature of the diseases. I can tell my psychiatrist ahead of time in May to up my meds because June - September are my roughest months for my mania and I can feel it start to come on late May. Bipolar you'll cycle through depression in the winter and mania in the spring/summer generally. Schizophrenia from my understanding has 3 stages. If your wife goes from depression to mania on a dime based on the seasons that sounds more like BP. If she doesn't have the mood swings and hears voices it's probably schizophrenia. I'm surprised your wife would accept and live with her BP1 diagnosis but not consider the possibility that she may be schizophrenic. I would start with the irrationality of the strangers talking about her. Why does she think strangers would talk about her? Leave the possibility open that maybe the family is, don't dispute that too much, and focus on the strangers and doctors. You can't even get doctors to talk to you about her, why would they talk about her behind her back to other people? Also be sure not take the questions too far. If she's getting upset, confused, or angry with the questions you should stop because you could be aggravating the situation. Don't accuse her of not making sense or sounding crazy, just ask why she thinks what's she thinking. Good luck with whatever it is, sounds like she has a terrible disease either way :(