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Um . . . it's not. It's just hard to understand what all those allistic people mean. Why do they say false things all the time and why is that socially normal?
by drewcoo 4y ago
Um . . . it's not.
It's just hard to understand what all those allistic people mean. Why do they say false things all the time and why is that socially normal? How is falsehood the acceptable norm but not truth?
Things like this article try to construct frameworks for the falsehoods.
Boo! Boo!
/self throws rotten tomatoes
Boo!
- rcme 4y agoWhat are you talking about?
- operatingthetan 4y agoI had to google 'allistic': >For those unfamiliar, “allistic” refers to people who are not on the autism spectrum, and has become an increasingly popular term to help distinguish people from their autistic peers without using judgmental terms like “normal” in contrast to “autistic”.
- Kye 4y agoConsider maybe it's as hard for them to tell the complete truth as it is for you to lie or obfuscate. A little empathy goes a long way. And despite stereotypes, neuroatypical people are capable of it.
- watwut 4y agoThe most annoying for me on these theories is that autistic are not more truthful nor more objective. They exaggerate, they say misleading things or just completely confuse own opinion/feeling with objective truth.
- bobsmooth 4y agoWe're concerned with social effects of saying the wrong thing.
- smallest-number 4y agoI think you're right about the framework-constructing. The social games that make insincerity natural come more intuitively to neurotypicals, so they don't notice they're playing them. When they do, and try to analyse themselves, I don't think they get it right often, because they don't have to build up an understanding of said games from the ground up like we do. This article isn't based on anything really, it's some rules conjured out of nowhere to explain some anecdotes. Like you said, a framework for the falsehoods more than a tool to be more sincere.
- nine_k 4y agoCan't help but link this timeless post: http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html
- Doxin 4y agoIt's pretty wild how few people say what they mean, and as a result people will end up trying to parse what you're saying for anything but face value. slightly contrived example: if I ask someone if they would like to go to the beach they'll probably assume I want to go to the beach. As opposed to what I meant to say and actually said. I mean sure, fine, fair enough, if that question is code for "I would like to go to the beach" then I can deal with that. But how am I then supposed to ask if you would like to go? maybe I'm ambivalent but would be okay with going if you would like to. Now the above example is fairly harmless, but add in a lot of bullshit around people trying to parse emotions from sentences and you can see how this gives autistic people a lot of trouble.
- jiggawatts 4y agoAlso, non-autistic people (apparently called "allistic"? TIL). My partner does this exact same thing. I'm never able to find out what she wants to do, because any such question becomes reinterpreted by her as a "he must want to do this, so I must say what I think he expects me to say" game.
- watwut 4y agoWhat about asking "what do you want to do" instead of suggesting an activity? The partner here is making reasonable guesses anyway, they are not misinterpreting, they are just not stupid. They assume you are not setting up the following conversation: - Would you like to go to beach? - Yes, I would love to! - I am really opposed to the idea!
- mock-possum 4y agoMy goto has always been telling other people what I want up front, before asking them what they want to do. So - “I just want to stay here and chill - how about you, do you want to go to the beach?” Or - “I’m starving, are you hungry? Should we get food?”
- Doxin 4y agoHow about people learn to take what I say at face value? Yes I can work around this sort of nonsense, but doing it all day is exhausting to me. I've learned how to deal with this sort of thing well enough to the point where most people that know me wouldn't guess I'm autistic, but it sure as heck would be nice if we all didn't invent weird-ass mind games for no benefit all the time.
- akomtu 4y agoAllistic? You mean "normal"? They can reflect others in their mind and see how their words change those reflections. Some take it too far and their inner world is a room with mirrored walls: they see many reflections of reflections, distorted by warped mirrors and they make their speech look straight in those reflections. The result is a tall pile of lies. Autists, on the other hand, have a brick wall in place of the mirror, so they talk to others as if they talk to a brick wall.
- kevviiinn 4y ago>Some take it too far and their inner world is a room with mirrored walls That sounds like a mental disorder
- mock-possum 4y agoPretty sure terms like ‘allistic’ are specifically intended to avoid using terms like ‘normal’ when it comes to historically oppressed / minority groups. That’s why it’s not “trans” and “normal” - it’s “trans” and “cis” Also what does ‘normal’ mean? If you use ‘allistic’ then you make it explicit that you’re addressing something opposed to ‘autistic.’
- akomtu 4y agoInventing contrived words to obscure reality is a form of lying to yourself and others. Normal means typical, "like others". It doesn't mean good, because in a hospital ward it's normal to be sick.