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S - Spaghetti: Weave a tangled web of code, just like a master chef crafting a delicious pasta dish. Complex code is the key to intrigue and job security. P -
by davidkunz 3y ago
S - Spaghetti: Weave a tangled web of code, just like a master chef crafting a delicious pasta dish. Complex code is the key to intrigue and job security.
P - Precarious: Make sure the code is fragile, such that any minor change could lead to a cascade of issues. This keeps everyone on their toes and ensures that only the bravest dare to modify it.
A - Ambiguous: Write code that leaves others guessing about its purpose and functionality. Code should be a puzzle to solve, and the more obscure, the better.
G - Gratuitous: Don't be afraid to add unnecessary features and lines of code. After all, more code means more functionality, and who doesn't like more functionality?
H - Haphazard: Consistency is overrated. Embrace the chaos and develop without a plan, jumping from one idea to the next as inspiration strikes.
E - Entangled: Ensure that all components of the project are intricately connected, like a delicate lattice of spaghetti noodles. This guarantees that every change will have far-reaching consequences and keeps the team on high alert.
T - Time-consuming: Write code that takes a long time to understand, modify, and debug. The longer it takes, the more valuable it must be.
T - Tangled: Never refactor or simplify. The more convoluted the code, the more creative it appears, and the more impressed your colleagues will be.
I - Impenetrable: Write code that is difficult to test and verify, so that only the most determined and adventurous developers will dare to attempt it. This maintains a sense of exclusivity and mystique around your work.
- randomcarbloke 3y agojob for life
- nazka 3y ago> Write code that is difficult to test and verify, so that only the most determined and adventurous developers will dare to attempt it. And then you create job security for yourself! Nobody will dare going on your turf or I mean the beautiful junk you created. With all the complexity and smelling code in place only you is “smart enough” to know how everything function. Since people that love to code would be so horrified you will be the only leader and maybe at some point the only expert and junk man, I mean coder of this junk. Since now you are so integrated to a part of how the system works nobody can fire you. You can still advance in your career. Thanks to how much complexity and buzz word you added to the pile of junk you can demonstrate you know what you are talking about to no so good managers in tech. Words like micro services, kubernetes, Kafka, istio, Falco, Vault, (add the last flavor)… Even though all this have no real value for the current state of your projects. Barely doing X events/s and making complexity of the system goes from O(n) to O(n^2). But who cares? You have the most secured job and your career possibly is great.