4 ms·

> Anyone who has kids and sometimes wants a break And then there is the lack of privacy. Your parents who came from a different generation trying to tell you

> Anyone who has kids and sometimes wants a break And then there is the lack of privacy. Your parents who came from a different generation trying to tell you how to live your life (ie my parents are very religiously conservative). I would have to deal with my mom and my wife walking on eggshells to not offend each other. I would have to deal with my dad wondering why I would waste money paying people to cut my lawn, etc.

reducesuffering 4y ago
> I would have to deal with my dad wondering why I would waste money paying people to cut my lawn That can't be the problem that comes to mind when dealing with a parent. I love my parents, but if that's the extent of your annoyance, you got off real real easy.
- scarface74 4y ago
  That’s an example of someone who doesn’t believe in “wasting money on things you can do yourself” and constantly judging our decisions? Did I mention the whole religious conservative thing and how they would probably grit their teeth when my wife and I would just casually talk about going out to dinner with “her friend and his husband”?
  - reducesuffering 4y ago
    Ok fair, I deal with the same thing. I just thought the example was a weak one, if it's only occasional, for why it's tough to be around your parents.
  - rayiner 4y ago
    And? Do you have so little ability to cope? I find it harder and harder to relate to Americans the older I get. I was at my cousin’s wedding recently, and a friend of their family has hassling me for being in a mixed marriage (we’re Bangladeshi, and my wife is an American). I sucked it up and was polite because I put on my big boy pants that day. Blood, and community are more important than abstract ideological debates.
    - scarface74 4y ago
      Why should I have to? I made enough money in 1996 when I was making $10/hour as a computer operator so I could move out on my own without dealing with every move I make being judged and asked Sunday morning why am I not going to church. But guess what your anecdote says? You grinned and put up with it for a day and you went home. Now imagine dealing with that everyday. But guess how long I would “put up with” anyone - including my parents or any other relatives - questioning who I marry? Yes, I checked my parents for questioning “our choice of friends” - ie a same sex couple I find it crazy how many people sacrifice their own happiness trying to make their extended family (ie anyone who is not their spouse or minor children) happy. There is also a reason there is such a brain drain in the US from small towns to larger cities once you go to college and get exposed to the wider world.

reducesuffering 4y ago

> I would have to deal with my dad wondering why I would waste money paying people to cut my lawn That can't be the problem that comes to mind when dealing with a parent. I love my parents, but if that's the extent of your annoyance, you got off real real easy.

scarface74 4y ago
That’s an example of someone who doesn’t believe in “wasting money on things you can do yourself” and constantly judging our decisions? Did I mention the whole religious conservative thing and how they would probably grit their teeth when my wife and I would just casually talk about going out to dinner with “her friend and his husband”?
- reducesuffering 4y ago
  Ok fair, I deal with the same thing. I just thought the example was a weak one, if it's only occasional, for why it's tough to be around your parents.
- rayiner 4y ago
  And? Do you have so little ability to cope? I find it harder and harder to relate to Americans the older I get. I was at my cousin’s wedding recently, and a friend of their family has hassling me for being in a mixed marriage (we’re Bangladeshi, and my wife is an American). I sucked it up and was polite because I put on my big boy pants that day. Blood, and community are more important than abstract ideological debates.
  - scarface74 4y ago
    Why should I have to? I made enough money in 1996 when I was making $10/hour as a computer operator so I could move out on my own without dealing with every move I make being judged and asked Sunday morning why am I not going to church. But guess what your anecdote says? You grinned and put up with it for a day and you went home. Now imagine dealing with that everyday. But guess how long I would “put up with” anyone - including my parents or any other relatives - questioning who I marry? Yes, I checked my parents for questioning “our choice of friends” - ie a same sex couple I find it crazy how many people sacrifice their own happiness trying to make their extended family (ie anyone who is not their spouse or minor children) happy. There is also a reason there is such a brain drain in the US from small towns to larger cities once you go to college and get exposed to the wider world.