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Cause we have an economy that has atomized everyone to where you have to fight for your own survival - constantly. I'd love having some of my friends be my nei

Cause we have an economy that has atomized everyone to where you have to fight for your own survival - constantly. I'd love having some of my friends be my neighbors. But I had to move cross country just to find a partner because living in Silicon Valley was going to leave me an incel. (No surprise - I leave and I've had far more partners than I ever did in SV) I'll move back eventually with a partner in tow but the same issues will arise. My professor friends can't afford a $2-3m house. My friends who work as nanny, acoustics engineer, events manager, local government staff, IT at local school, etc. also cannot afford the suburb I would be living in where the average home is $2.5m. They instead leave the area, live in apartments, or live with their parents. The few who are still in these professions but aren't shackled by these issues are over 50 years old and come from old money. (We're not particularly close) Now, I'm in NYC and shockingly - I have quite a few friends who aren't too far away (some are only 2-3 blocks!) but we are all painfully similar. We work in high paid jobs, we're single men, and we have similar interests. It's not the worst thing but I'm getting a very homogenous group of friends while living here.

yosito 4y ago
> I'll move back eventually with a partner in tow Why though? What is the appeal of SV when you could live anywhere?
quickthrower2 4y ago
It is a nice set of problems to have though, diversity of neighborhood or living with millionaires. Choosing to work somewhere you can do something you love for executive wages, or move to another city, with a move that costs pocket change so that you can find love.
- bradlys 4y ago
  Comes with a different set of problems - tbh. The women I'm looking for need to be single and in a similar socioeconomic bracket. Those two things are basically impossible to find together.
prawn 4y ago
Your first sentence makes me wonder how much "taking work home" has compromised our social lives. On any given night trying to catch up with friends, it's likely that at least one will have a deadline they're working to, or trying not to fall behind on workload in general. If you come up against that a couple of times, or have your own work pressures, I find that you're less likely to initiate anything.
steveBK123 4y ago
Yup, this describes NYC pretty well. If you are in the HN crowd, and moved to a hood you consider desirable with a good commute to where our offices are.. You can have friends nearby if you make them after you move in and are happy with a social circle comprised of people almost entirely in the same field, with a few trust funders mixed in. If you live in an older hood like UWS/UES there will also be some old timers mixed in who bought/secured a lease in the 80s~90s and maybe from other fields. Or more often than not, they are lawyers and doctors or other high paying but not-quite banking/consulting/software. Growing up outside the city, my friends dads were, in no particular order - teacher, principal, engineer, auto mechanic, IT, roofer, etc.

yosito 4y ago

> I'll move back eventually with a partner in tow Why though? What is the appeal of SV when you could live anywhere?

quickthrower2 4y ago

It is a nice set of problems to have though, diversity of neighborhood or living with millionaires. Choosing to work somewhere you can do something you love for executive wages, or move to another city, with a move that costs pocket change so that you can find love.

bradlys 4y ago
Comes with a different set of problems - tbh. The women I'm looking for need to be single and in a similar socioeconomic bracket. Those two things are basically impossible to find together.

prawn 4y ago

Your first sentence makes me wonder how much "taking work home" has compromised our social lives. On any given night trying to catch up with friends, it's likely that at least one will have a deadline they're working to, or trying not to fall behind on workload in general. If you come up against that a couple of times, or have your own work pressures, I find that you're less likely to initiate anything.

steveBK123 4y ago

Yup, this describes NYC pretty well. If you are in the HN crowd, and moved to a hood you consider desirable with a good commute to where our offices are.. You can have friends nearby if you make them after you move in and are happy with a social circle comprised of people almost entirely in the same field, with a few trust funders mixed in. If you live in an older hood like UWS/UES there will also be some old timers mixed in who bought/secured a lease in the 80s~90s and maybe from other fields. Or more often than not, they are lawyers and doctors or other high paying but not-quite banking/consulting/software. Growing up outside the city, my friends dads were, in no particular order - teacher, principal, engineer, auto mechanic, IT, roofer, etc.