3 ms·

You and I seem to have a lot in common. Been employed, done entrepreneurship, don't mind long hours. I find it interesting how people navigate these tradeoffs.

You and I seem to have a lot in common. Been employed, done entrepreneurship, don't mind long hours. I find it interesting how people navigate these tradeoffs. I'm 38, married with two kids (one 3, the other 6mos). It's BUSY. Especially because my wife has a good career, which for better or worse, is a big part of her identity and something she'll never not do (building architecture). Given that we'll always have her salary, I manage a couple rental properties part time, plus have taken a few swings at getting bootstrapped products out the door with mixed success. I honestly don't know whether you or I have it "easier". I have friends with stay-at-home spouses. I envy their ability to just go to work and focus. I spent today (Sunday) fixing our dryer, going to the grocery store, and doing other chores a stay-at-home wife might handle during the week. I work almost every weekend doing either housework, tax prep, or other stuff. On the other hand, I know we'll never not eat, so the financial stress is a lot less than a one-income household trying something entrepreneurial. Unless you're either really rich or have saved a lot (and willing to risk it), it's hard seeing how someone in that position, especially with kids in a high COL area, can make it work without taking a big salary out of the company (and getting financing to do it). It seems borderline impossible. I think raising two kids is at least one "full time job", probably more because it's not just 9-5 Monday-Friday. If you're in a two-working spouse family with kids, I think it's very difficult to work more than 45-50 hours/week, and that's assuming you have daycare. There's just SO MUCH to do. Laundry, groceries, dishes, and meal prep are easily 15-20h/week for a family of four. Add to that taking kids to/from childcare/school, putting them to bed, bathing them, keeping them entertained on the weekends, doctors' appointments, and the rest, it gets tough to work more than 50h/week with a working spouse. I think 70 is basically not doable unless you're OK going days at a time not seeing your kids, and even then, only one spouse/partner can really do it.

monero-xmr 3y ago
I hang out with the family on weekends, my work day schedule is 9am to 5pm and then 9pm to 2am, Sunday night through Friday at 5pm. The 4 hour window between working sessions is when I hang out with the kids before they go to bed. I usually fit some hours in on Saturday but mostly the weekend is all family time. All that stuff you mention is mostly my wife during the day. My kids go to school / daycare so she has time to maintain the house and shop. I work from home and co-founded a fairly large and successful software business that is remote only. This is the only way I can work this much and see family properly. I’ve had enough exits and frugal savings over the past 20 years to buy multiple rental properties, and I make a good salary. My wife is very appreciative of what I do and knows all we have is because of my career. She is extremely helpful and accommodating, and we are a team - she manages the kids and house while I make us financially secure. The best way to summarize my philosophy is long term thinking. I always try to make decisions and investments that help long term, even if there is pain in the short term. You wait long enough and the seeds planted 5, 10, 20 years ago bear fruit. And if you plant those every year, after a while it’s just ripe fruit all the time. I have no moral issue leaving a giant inheritance to my children - the family unit is the most important thing and I see my work as the beginning of a multi-generational project. I want them to have every advantage in life, but also the philosophical tools to properly manage and grow their wealth, build new businesses, nurture their spiritual and intellectual souls. There is so much more I could say but I’ve rambled on enough. Like you said we are probably of similar mind in many ways. One final note is that my family is quite religious which is not typical for big city tech types. However it is a key reason why we are happy IMO.
- eldavido 3y ago
  This is awesome. Thanks. Wish I could meet you. Incidentally, missed church today as I was too busy with other things. This isn't entirely common for us ;)
- uptownfunk 3y ago
  Wow awesome to see folk like this out on HN

monero-xmr 3y ago

I hang out with the family on weekends, my work day schedule is 9am to 5pm and then 9pm to 2am, Sunday night through Friday at 5pm. The 4 hour window between working sessions is when I hang out with the kids before they go to bed. I usually fit some hours in on Saturday but mostly the weekend is all family time. All that stuff you mention is mostly my wife during the day. My kids go to school / daycare so she has time to maintain the house and shop. I work from home and co-founded a fairly large and successful software business that is remote only. This is the only way I can work this much and see family properly. I’ve had enough exits and frugal savings over the past 20 years to buy multiple rental properties, and I make a good salary. My wife is very appreciative of what I do and knows all we have is because of my career. She is extremely helpful and accommodating, and we are a team - she manages the kids and house while I make us financially secure. The best way to summarize my philosophy is long term thinking. I always try to make decisions and investments that help long term, even if there is pain in the short term. You wait long enough and the seeds planted 5, 10, 20 years ago bear fruit. And if you plant those every year, after a while it’s just ripe fruit all the time. I have no moral issue leaving a giant inheritance to my children - the family unit is the most important thing and I see my work as the beginning of a multi-generational project. I want them to have every advantage in life, but also the philosophical tools to properly manage and grow their wealth, build new businesses, nurture their spiritual and intellectual souls. There is so much more I could say but I’ve rambled on enough. Like you said we are probably of similar mind in many ways. One final note is that my family is quite religious which is not typical for big city tech types. However it is a key reason why we are happy IMO.

eldavido 3y ago
This is awesome. Thanks. Wish I could meet you. Incidentally, missed church today as I was too busy with other things. This isn't entirely common for us ;)
uptownfunk 3y ago
Wow awesome to see folk like this out on HN