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Social dynamics are so much more complex than this childish analysis. Misses the most important reason for swearing completely: to fine-tune the tone of the con

Social dynamics are so much more complex than this childish analysis. Misses the most important reason for swearing completely: to fine-tune the tone of the conversation. And there’s nothing special about swearing here, all words and gestures can be deployed effectively for this purpose. And there is absolutely no need to avoid swearing between adults, grow the fuck up. I get the feeling this guy doesn’t have too many close friends.

Curiositry 3y ago
I agree social dynamics are more complex than this (potentially childish) analysis. Though I mentioned humour and fitting in, you're right that I didn’t really address the use of profanity to build rapport/break down formality/establish intimacy, and adjust the tone of a conversation in other ways. (Some aspects of that were on my list of things to add, but I never got around to it.) > I get the feeling this guy doesn’t have too many close friends. Thankfully, despite this essay & other indications to the contrary, I have a reasonable number of wonderful close friends (I’m sometimes as surprised as you), some of whom swear, and some of whom don't. I sometimes appreciate swearing, and sometimes find it grating. But I find that overuse of swearing usually detracts from a conversation, which is why I wrote up my argument for why there are potentially maybe possibly valid philosophical and pragmatic reasons for adults to consider swearing less.
- Nevermark 3y ago
  > But I find that overuse of swearing usually detracts from a conversation A reasonable concern. But don’t get carried away. We don’t need under use either! When my kids were young I told then that swear words were not inherently bad, but needed to be used appropriately. And I told them I couldn’t let them use them because they were not ready for that nuance, but also culturally, young children swearing was not a path to youthful success. One day driving two of them through town, my son mentioned that one of his friends said a bad word. I asked him which one, and he said “You know … fuh…!” He got his meaning across, and I was about to so “oh, ok” when his sister blurted out “kuh!” My son looked at her with surprise and admiration, and proceeded to exclaim “fuh” again, followed by his sister in what became an instant chanting game. I had to use my outdoor voice to get them to stop. My son pleaded with me. “We aren’t actually saying it, Dad!” But I told them I couldn’t allow it. He cried! I think he was four. I tried to be serious and empathetic. But no loop holes.
- xmonkee 3y ago
  I'm sorry about that last quip. Don't know why I said that. Probably reminded me of some people I don't like IRL.
simplotek 3y ago
> Misses the most important reason for swearing completely: to fine-tune the tone of the conversation. I agree. Not only does swearing have a modulating effect on conversation, it is also a way to covey the tone in the relationship between people. This blog post is a poorly thought out attempt at validating prior beliefs regarding which words need policing. It's particularly stupid by the way that, while missing the whole point, accuses references the author finds inconvenient as "aren’t nearly as clear-cut or methodologically sound as they are made to sound". What a waste of a click.

Curiositry 3y ago

I agree social dynamics are more complex than this (potentially childish) analysis. Though I mentioned humour and fitting in, you're right that I didn’t really address the use of profanity to build rapport/break down formality/establish intimacy, and adjust the tone of a conversation in other ways. (Some aspects of that were on my list of things to add, but I never got around to it.) > I get the feeling this guy doesn’t have too many close friends. Thankfully, despite this essay & other indications to the contrary, I have a reasonable number of wonderful close friends (I’m sometimes as surprised as you), some of whom swear, and some of whom don't. I sometimes appreciate swearing, and sometimes find it grating. But I find that overuse of swearing usually detracts from a conversation, which is why I wrote up my argument for why there are potentially maybe possibly valid philosophical and pragmatic reasons for adults to consider swearing less.

Nevermark 3y ago
> But I find that overuse of swearing usually detracts from a conversation A reasonable concern. But don’t get carried away. We don’t need under use either! When my kids were young I told then that swear words were not inherently bad, but needed to be used appropriately. And I told them I couldn’t let them use them because they were not ready for that nuance, but also culturally, young children swearing was not a path to youthful success. One day driving two of them through town, my son mentioned that one of his friends said a bad word. I asked him which one, and he said “You know … fuh…!” He got his meaning across, and I was about to so “oh, ok” when his sister blurted out “kuh!” My son looked at her with surprise and admiration, and proceeded to exclaim “fuh” again, followed by his sister in what became an instant chanting game. I had to use my outdoor voice to get them to stop. My son pleaded with me. “We aren’t actually saying it, Dad!” But I told them I couldn’t allow it. He cried! I think he was four. I tried to be serious and empathetic. But no loop holes.
xmonkee 3y ago
I'm sorry about that last quip. Don't know why I said that. Probably reminded me of some people I don't like IRL.

simplotek 3y ago

> Misses the most important reason for swearing completely: to fine-tune the tone of the conversation. I agree. Not only does swearing have a modulating effect on conversation, it is also a way to covey the tone in the relationship between people. This blog post is a poorly thought out attempt at validating prior beliefs regarding which words need policing. It's particularly stupid by the way that, while missing the whole point, accuses references the author finds inconvenient as "aren’t nearly as clear-cut or methodologically sound as they are made to sound". What a waste of a click.