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I felt like I had to say this FYI This guy isn't ugly, actually average looking 30yr old white guy, isn't short, is socially active. I honestly have no idea wh

I felt like I had to say this FYI This guy isn't ugly, actually average looking 30yr old white guy, isn't short, is socially active. I honestly have no idea why this guy is still a virgin, im pretty sure he could find someone on a dating app if he got in shape.

jjtheblunt 3y ago
he might have watched parents bicker endlessly and have internalized a "no thanks" sort of skepticism?
mr_mitm 3y ago
Maybe he has psychological issues. For example, people with schizoid personality disorder tend to be single because they have trouble connecting with people.
- IndigoIncognito 3y ago
  Thats what I was thinking, I really doubt it, he seems like a really nice guy and he speaks/ posts online in a "neurotypical" manner, however neurotypical people usually don't talk about their virginity on a blogpost lol Still baffled that he is a virgin, especially at his age, maybe someone in a relationship can give him advice, he has a twitter
all2 3y ago
Low drive to mate could be because his T is low. I wonder if he's had his hormones checked.
- TobyTheDog123 3y ago
  You're getting downvoted, but I'm not entirely sure why. It's not some toxic Andrew-Tate-esque take to consider low testosterone as a possibility for the lack of drive the author mentions. Personally, I plan on doing it soon, there's no harm in it.
  - all2 3y ago
    T levels aren't everything, though. Get a full hormone panel. I got one and found my adrenals weren't producing enough DHEA. Also note that HRT, and specifically testosterone supplementation may not address core issues. I was a candidate for test, but this would have allowed my adrenals to stay suppressed and ruined my balls.
- hotpotamus 3y ago
  Then with the right injections, he could make lots of babies?
  - all2 3y ago
    Probably not? Dunno. Depends on the injections. If you're curious, YouTuber Vigorous Steve talks about this stuff in a great detail.
    - hotpotamus 3y ago
      The purpose of increased desire to mate would be to produce more offspring though, wouldn't it?
hammyhavoc 3y ago
Anecdotal, but dating apps have to be the worst way to meet someone. Everybody I ever met through them has major problems and that's why they have to meet people through an app dedicated to meeting people for relationships. It's such an unnatural and strange concept.
- browningstreet 3y ago
  Hard disagree. My last "n" relationships over more than a decade came from dating apps. It's also a high-percentage source of relationships these days. Dating apps can be where people go shopping, but it can also just be a way to filter for people you wouldn't ordinarily encounter doing the things you do day to day. In that respect, they're great.
  - hammyhavoc 3y ago
    Anecdote v anecdote, matey. As with anything, if they work for you and others, that's great. I have a feeling that it may be a demographic thing related to geographic area, that and the times have of course changed and dating apps are far more mainstream than they were a decade ago. An additional anecdote though as an in-between of both of ours: my mother in the UK met a man from Canada in a chatroom over twenty years ago, divorced my father, and they're still married. Not to say that it has always been smooth sailing at times for them (he's got paranoid schizophrenia, she's physically disabled now), but they're happy, so meeting people via software evidently does work for some people. I mean, look at us, we don't know each other, but we're having a conversation, so if that idea is extrapolated to a dating app, sure, I can buy into the idea that they can be effective for some people.
    - em-bee 3y ago
      one thing i think where dating apps help (or being introduced by someone as potential partners) is that you can discuss relationship goals very early. that helps weeding out unsuitable candidates quickly.
    - hexo 3y ago
SoftAnnaLee 3y ago
Could also be a consequence of just not having much desire to "mate". It's not unheard of for people to not want to "mate"; there's a reason why asexual is a term that people use to describe themselves.
runnr_az 3y ago
For us regular guys, nothing is gonna happen with relationships unless you make it happen.
atleastoptimal 3y ago
>He isn't ugly, short, or awkward so shouldn't be a virgin I've noticed this a lot: whenever a non-ugly person notes that they're perpetually single, the first thing people say is "What? But you're so handsome/tall". This strongly implies that one's physical attributes are the biggest predictor of sexual success. However when people complain that their lack of physical attractiveness is keeping them perpetually single, they'll be assuaged that looks have very little to do with it, and it's probably a personality/circumstantial problem. Not saying that you'd be saying it, but it's something I noticed: maybe a societal-scale sort of euphemistic tactic to make people feel better. The importance of physical attractiveness, with respect to common reasoning, seems to shift to one extreme or the other depending on whether the person one is talking to is ugly or attractive. Once an unattractive person realizes this rhetorical shift everyone performs, how could they ever believe anyone who tries to make them feel better about their looks?
- BirdieNZ 3y ago
  Your reasoning sounds a little over-binary; both things can be simultaneously true: 1: Attractive people will find dating and securing a relationship easier than unattractive people 2: Physically unattractive people can still be very successful in dating and securing relationships, because there are many other impactful factors besides physical looks So you can say without lying or deception "it's surprising that [incredibly good looking person] is perpetually single, it should be easy to leverage their looks into a relationship" and also "don't give up just because you're ugly, there are far more important factors to finding a relationship than just your looks".
  - atleastoptimal 3y ago
    The surprise at someone being single seems to be exclusively about looks. I've never heard something about someone being single and being being shocked and saying "but he's so interesting/charming/charismatic", the surprise factor seems to be almost exclusively about physical appearance. If someone is ugly but very charming, and it is revealed he is perpetually single, it never really seems to be a surprise to most people. This seems to support the commonly, tacitly understood notion that looks are the most important factor, everything else is of relatively ancillary importance. I'm not implying that other factors aren't commonly regarded as also important, but they're never given the primacy of deterministic impact that it seems that physical appearance is.

jjtheblunt 3y ago

he might have watched parents bicker endlessly and have internalized a "no thanks" sort of skepticism?

mr_mitm 3y ago

Maybe he has psychological issues. For example, people with schizoid personality disorder tend to be single because they have trouble connecting with people.

IndigoIncognito 3y ago
Thats what I was thinking, I really doubt it, he seems like a really nice guy and he speaks/ posts online in a "neurotypical" manner, however neurotypical people usually don't talk about their virginity on a blogpost lol Still baffled that he is a virgin, especially at his age, maybe someone in a relationship can give him advice, he has a twitter

all2 3y ago

Low drive to mate could be because his T is low. I wonder if he's had his hormones checked.

TobyTheDog123 3y ago
You're getting downvoted, but I'm not entirely sure why. It's not some toxic Andrew-Tate-esque take to consider low testosterone as a possibility for the lack of drive the author mentions. Personally, I plan on doing it soon, there's no harm in it.
- all2 3y ago
  T levels aren't everything, though. Get a full hormone panel. I got one and found my adrenals weren't producing enough DHEA. Also note that HRT, and specifically testosterone supplementation may not address core issues. I was a candidate for test, but this would have allowed my adrenals to stay suppressed and ruined my balls.
hotpotamus 3y ago
Then with the right injections, he could make lots of babies?
- all2 3y ago
  Probably not? Dunno. Depends on the injections. If you're curious, YouTuber Vigorous Steve talks about this stuff in a great detail.
  - hotpotamus 3y ago
    The purpose of increased desire to mate would be to produce more offspring though, wouldn't it?

hammyhavoc 3y ago

Anecdotal, but dating apps have to be the worst way to meet someone. Everybody I ever met through them has major problems and that's why they have to meet people through an app dedicated to meeting people for relationships. It's such an unnatural and strange concept.

browningstreet 3y ago
Hard disagree. My last "n" relationships over more than a decade came from dating apps. It's also a high-percentage source of relationships these days. Dating apps can be where people go shopping, but it can also just be a way to filter for people you wouldn't ordinarily encounter doing the things you do day to day. In that respect, they're great.
- hammyhavoc 3y ago
  Anecdote v anecdote, matey. As with anything, if they work for you and others, that's great. I have a feeling that it may be a demographic thing related to geographic area, that and the times have of course changed and dating apps are far more mainstream than they were a decade ago. An additional anecdote though as an in-between of both of ours: my mother in the UK met a man from Canada in a chatroom over twenty years ago, divorced my father, and they're still married. Not to say that it has always been smooth sailing at times for them (he's got paranoid schizophrenia, she's physically disabled now), but they're happy, so meeting people via software evidently does work for some people. I mean, look at us, we don't know each other, but we're having a conversation, so if that idea is extrapolated to a dating app, sure, I can buy into the idea that they can be effective for some people.
  - em-bee 3y ago
    one thing i think where dating apps help (or being introduced by someone as potential partners) is that you can discuss relationship goals very early. that helps weeding out unsuitable candidates quickly.
  - hexo 3y ago

SoftAnnaLee 3y ago

Could also be a consequence of just not having much desire to "mate". It's not unheard of for people to not want to "mate"; there's a reason why asexual is a term that people use to describe themselves.

runnr_az 3y ago

For us regular guys, nothing is gonna happen with relationships unless you make it happen.

atleastoptimal 3y ago

>He isn't ugly, short, or awkward so shouldn't be a virgin I've noticed this a lot: whenever a non-ugly person notes that they're perpetually single, the first thing people say is "What? But you're so handsome/tall". This strongly implies that one's physical attributes are the biggest predictor of sexual success. However when people complain that their lack of physical attractiveness is keeping them perpetually single, they'll be assuaged that looks have very little to do with it, and it's probably a personality/circumstantial problem. Not saying that you'd be saying it, but it's something I noticed: maybe a societal-scale sort of euphemistic tactic to make people feel better. The importance of physical attractiveness, with respect to common reasoning, seems to shift to one extreme or the other depending on whether the person one is talking to is ugly or attractive. Once an unattractive person realizes this rhetorical shift everyone performs, how could they ever believe anyone who tries to make them feel better about their looks?

BirdieNZ 3y ago
Your reasoning sounds a little over-binary; both things can be simultaneously true: 1: Attractive people will find dating and securing a relationship easier than unattractive people 2: Physically unattractive people can still be very successful in dating and securing relationships, because there are many other impactful factors besides physical looks So you can say without lying or deception "it's surprising that [incredibly good looking person] is perpetually single, it should be easy to leverage their looks into a relationship" and also "don't give up just because you're ugly, there are far more important factors to finding a relationship than just your looks".
- atleastoptimal 3y ago
  The surprise at someone being single seems to be exclusively about looks. I've never heard something about someone being single and being being shocked and saying "but he's so interesting/charming/charismatic", the surprise factor seems to be almost exclusively about physical appearance. If someone is ugly but very charming, and it is revealed he is perpetually single, it never really seems to be a surprise to most people. This seems to support the commonly, tacitly understood notion that looks are the most important factor, everything else is of relatively ancillary importance. I'm not implying that other factors aren't commonly regarded as also important, but they're never given the primacy of deterministic impact that it seems that physical appearance is.