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Curious how popular and effective these docs are. Massive abundance and higher standards of living mean people who write these things don't have to settle for f
by CraigRo 4y ago
Curious how popular and effective these docs are. Massive abundance and higher standards of living mean people who write these things don't have to settle for financial reasons, so the docs get pickier and less attuned to the realities of life
- PaulHoule 4y agoThe conventional analysis is that this is the worst possible way to look for love. (1) Eva Illouz in https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Hurts-Sociological-Explanation/dp/0745671071 https://www.amazon.com/Why-Love-Hurts-Sociological-Explanati... and many other modern authors will say that the longer of a list of lovers you have to choose from the less likely you will choose any of them. Whether you are evaluating a large number of prospects with a large list of criteria (Date me) or evaluating a large number of prospects based on photos (Tinder) the key thing is that the more people you look at the more choices you imagine you have, the more you believe you’ll find somebody better if you look a little longer and the less likely you are to pick any of them. (2) Stendhal in his classic “On Love” https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm https://www.gutenberg.org/files/53720/53720-h/53720-h.htm describes how falling in love involves a process of “crystallization” in which your love object appears to be singular and absolutely unique. The process of evaluating a long list is the opposite of this. Even if you are polyamorous and believe you can maintain multiple love relationships over time, that part of it where you are head over heels over someone (e.g. “new relationship energy”) is something you feel for one person at a time.