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Of all the places I comment online this is the only one where I'm routinely told I meant to say something other than what I said. I used to think I was just an

Of all the places I comment online this is the only one where I'm routinely told I meant to say something other than what I said. I used to think I was just an unclear writer but it continues to only happen on HN. Anyway I'm not anti-AA, I've been in it for years and am happy with it. I've also engaged extensively with what I perceive to be its limitations and constraints. I said what I meant to say and I meant what I said. I meant humiliating. There are recovery programs that emphasize your courage and strength in confronting a highly stigmatized mental illness, that encourage reflection on the routine frailty of the human mind, its susceptibility to this sort of failure, the capriciousness of who falls into addiction and who doesn't. Does that sound like AA to you? AA encourages you to think of yourself as permanently faulty in an irreparable way and to choose your actions with that fault in mind. This is rather practical in preventing relapse, but it's not a resounding message of self-actualization. The "confession of sins" in steps 5, 8, 9 are inevitably going to be experienced as shameful and yes, humiliating. This is effective! It's a powerful deterrent to that behavior in the future. I meant exhausting. There is never a point in AA where you are cured, where you are free of AA, free of the burden of thinking of yourself as an alcoholic. Again this is very pragmatic: it reminds you that readdiction is always possible, it keeps you from letting your guard down even years into recovery. It also means the vigilance is eternal, exhausting. Everyone who has grappled with addiction agrees that sobriety is a better way of life. But that doesn't mean AA is the only way to get to it, or the most pleasant among the options. "We thought we could find an easier, softer way." We could not, but some others can, and those who can will have an easier, softer time than we do in here.

ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
My apologies, then. I do understand your point. I may have a bit to say, but you know, that ol' Tradition Eleven, and whatnot. Just be aware that there are others, on their own journeys. I found that using was exhausting. I don't think that having addiction under control, is exhausting at all. Others have far worse crosses to bear, and all the good things that have come, have more than made up for any issues that I may have, as a result of a .44 magnum, pointed at my head, all the time. It's definitely "endless," but so are many things. I've found that the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, and Tenth Steps are about losing the shame of of active addiction. In fact, their most practical use, is to have us become so comfortable with our pasts, that we can routinely recount them, to people looking for help. What It Was Like, What Happened, and What It's Like, Now. That "What it Was Like" part is real important. If we're not comfortable telling some shaking newcomer that we used to rob church poorboxes, then we're kinda useless. But what do I know? I'm just some Internet rando. I wouldn't have even written this, if this story hadn't been shoved to the back of the broom closet in record time. Have a great day.

ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago

My apologies, then. I do understand your point. I may have a bit to say, but you know, that ol' Tradition Eleven, and whatnot. Just be aware that there are others, on their own journeys. I found that using was exhausting. I don't think that having addiction under control, is exhausting at all. Others have far worse crosses to bear, and all the good things that have come, have more than made up for any issues that I may have, as a result of a .44 magnum, pointed at my head, all the time. It's definitely "endless," but so are many things. I've found that the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, and Tenth Steps are about losing the shame of of active addiction. In fact, their most practical use, is to have us become so comfortable with our pasts, that we can routinely recount them, to people looking for help. What It Was Like, What Happened, and What It's Like, Now. That "What it Was Like" part is real important. If we're not comfortable telling some shaking newcomer that we used to rob church poorboxes, then we're kinda useless. But what do I know? I'm just some Internet rando. I wouldn't have even written this, if this story hadn't been shoved to the back of the broom closet in record time. Have a great day.