Throwaway to share some thoughts from my first hand experience. They're not suicidal. Addiction is a pathological state. I've been an addict, with some long pe

Throwaway to share some thoughts from my first hand experience. They're not suicidal. Addiction is a pathological state. I've been an addict, with some long periods of sobriety and/or healthy moderation, since my late teens and I'm in my 40s now. Opioids is what got me started but it doesn't matter the substance. They change. At the moment I'm trying really hard to get clean from a serious cocaine and ketamine addiction. I'm also a successful business owner and CEO, I'm Very High Net Worth, I have a loving partner and a loving family. I had no significant traumas growing up. I have access to the highest level of care possible. Between my psychiatrist and my addiction specialist and all the various coaches and providers I spend hours a week working on this problem. And yet I cannot stop taking drugs. I cannot stop by will alone. Having been through the ups and downs so many times I know I have to attack this problem from like 20 different angles 20 different times before I'll stop. I've been through this so many times now. I went to rehab a year ago and then I maintained sobriety for a few weeks until the unexpected death of someone very close to me triggered me to relapse. Life stressors tend to be triggers. That's why I say I've been an addict for 20 something years. Even though I was clean many of those years, it's just an illness in remission. The struggle never ends it just waxes and wanes. Now I'm trying to make arrangements in my affairs so I can go away to rehab again. My point was, I'm not suicidal. I'm terrified of death. I'm not even depressed. I love the life that I've built. Yet I continue to use, compulsively, drugs that are causing me physical health problems and that have a high risk of ultimately killing me. Addiction is a pathological state. Full genetic sequencing recently told me I have a D2 receptor subtype that is associated with a higher risk for addiction. Confirmed what I already knew. It's a compulsion. It feels like a tic. There's a button in my brain that needs to be pressed, an itch that needs to be scratched, and only taking certain substances will do it. I'm all for the decriminalization of drugs. No one should be incarcerated for this. It's reprehensible that our society does that. But full legalization of all substances? That's a position born of ignorance. These substances are not evil but they are biologically dangerous. Any chemicals that directly activate the reward pathways in the brain are inherently dangerous. Addicts are created they are not born. You shouldn't be able to buy heroin from the heroin store anymore than you should be able to buy sarin gas from the sarin gas store. I've read all the articles about tranq. My heart aches for these addicts. My heart aches for all the friends I've lost to addiction. Welcome to Coming of Age in the Opioid Epidemic.