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Just a heads up for anyone reading this, as a mindfulness coach I wouldn’t recommend this technique. The rubber band and “stop” voice are pretty harsh and rathe

Just a heads up for anyone reading this, as a mindfulness coach I wouldn’t recommend this technique. The rubber band and “stop” voice are pretty harsh and rather we want to practice inner kindness and letting go.

ccooffee 4y ago
Do you have an alternative recommendation for "strong" reminders? "Counting five breaths" is a tool I got from some mindfulness resource. Focus on the breath as much as you can and count the exhales. When you get to five, begin again from one. Repeat until settled. If I'm fairly out-of-it, it may take me 10 repeats of counting five breaths to center myself. Sometimes it doesn't work at all.
Sakos 4y ago
Weird. Telling myself to stop works and doesn't feel harsh. It's possible to be kind and accepting and to recognize what's happening and give yourself boundaries. Being kind only goes so far if you literally don't stop ruminating. Telling myself to stop, that I've done enough ruminating, that these thoughts aren't going anywhere helpful and I can't change anything right now works far better than most other techniques I've tried. It's just another way of letting go.
Timon3 4y ago
Do you have medical credentials? "Coach" doesn't sound like it, but I don't want to presume. I've learned this from actual therapists, so I'll keep trusting their opinion until I see contrary data.
- ZitchDog 4y ago
  Interesting. I am definitely not a doctor. If you have medical advice to practice this technique, I would follow it. I will say that I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for 7 years in various traditions and have never come across this technique. It also goes against the definition of mindfulness (paying attention to the present moment without judgement) as it is applying judgement to your thoughts. I have experienced very difficult and dark periods of meditation when I was hard on myself for thinking, and learning to be very kind to myself in meditation was a huge step forward in my practice. Rather than “stop”, I say “thinking” to myself in a kind way.
  - Timon3 4y ago
    I think I wrote my initial comment from a very different perspective, but we know how difficult it is to bring all this across in text :) None of the techniques I described are meant to be judgemental. It's only about helping yourself passively recognize rumination. While it did them I never once felt I was being unkind to myself, since it's neither meant to hurt nor negatively judge. The "STOP" example is literally about picturing something, not about "screaming at yourself". To get back to your initial points - you are definitely correct that you have to approach yourself with kindness, and if you feel that anything I described is unkind, you should find a way that works for you!
orange_fritter 4y ago
I think this is a great point about nuance and "what works for one person, at one point in time, may not always work." For some the "rubber band" method may just be a silly reminder, but for others it could be a mild form of self harm. The same person may be in a very different emotional space from hour to hour or month to month.
fsociety 4y ago
The rubber band helps shift your focus back to your body. It can be an effective tool for people who struggle with anxiety. No need to judge it as being harsh or having a lack of kindness.

ccooffee 4y ago

Do you have an alternative recommendation for "strong" reminders? "Counting five breaths" is a tool I got from some mindfulness resource. Focus on the breath as much as you can and count the exhales. When you get to five, begin again from one. Repeat until settled. If I'm fairly out-of-it, it may take me 10 repeats of counting five breaths to center myself. Sometimes it doesn't work at all.

Sakos 4y ago

Weird. Telling myself to stop works and doesn't feel harsh. It's possible to be kind and accepting and to recognize what's happening and give yourself boundaries. Being kind only goes so far if you literally don't stop ruminating. Telling myself to stop, that I've done enough ruminating, that these thoughts aren't going anywhere helpful and I can't change anything right now works far better than most other techniques I've tried. It's just another way of letting go.

Timon3 4y ago

Do you have medical credentials? "Coach" doesn't sound like it, but I don't want to presume. I've learned this from actual therapists, so I'll keep trusting their opinion until I see contrary data.

ZitchDog 4y ago
Interesting. I am definitely not a doctor. If you have medical advice to practice this technique, I would follow it. I will say that I have been practicing mindfulness meditation for 7 years in various traditions and have never come across this technique. It also goes against the definition of mindfulness (paying attention to the present moment without judgement) as it is applying judgement to your thoughts. I have experienced very difficult and dark periods of meditation when I was hard on myself for thinking, and learning to be very kind to myself in meditation was a huge step forward in my practice. Rather than “stop”, I say “thinking” to myself in a kind way.
- Timon3 4y ago
  I think I wrote my initial comment from a very different perspective, but we know how difficult it is to bring all this across in text :) None of the techniques I described are meant to be judgemental. It's only about helping yourself passively recognize rumination. While it did them I never once felt I was being unkind to myself, since it's neither meant to hurt nor negatively judge. The "STOP" example is literally about picturing something, not about "screaming at yourself". To get back to your initial points - you are definitely correct that you have to approach yourself with kindness, and if you feel that anything I described is unkind, you should find a way that works for you!

orange_fritter 4y ago

I think this is a great point about nuance and "what works for one person, at one point in time, may not always work." For some the "rubber band" method may just be a silly reminder, but for others it could be a mild form of self harm. The same person may be in a very different emotional space from hour to hour or month to month.

fsociety 4y ago

The rubber band helps shift your focus back to your body. It can be an effective tool for people who struggle with anxiety. No need to judge it as being harsh or having a lack of kindness.