The joke is that reading about Java on the Haiku website felt a bit incongruous, so I was expecting a parody. Here is my stab at one: Java technology has been

The joke is that reading about Java on the Haiku website felt a bit incongruous, so I was expecting a parody. Here is my stab at one: Java technology has been moving forward much faster in recent years, and we feel that the time has come to start migrating Haiku OS away from its legacy C++ roots and onto the JVM. We are excited to announce a new design for Haiku which reimagines the old "Kit" APIs we inherited from BeOS as forward looking JavaBean-based frameworks with full support for configuration via XML. We know that this will be a big change for application developers, and so we're also announcing a new Java bytecode back-end for GCC 2.95. This will help to bring legacy C++ code bases across into the new world of JHaiku with minimal porting effort. Developers simply need to eliminate a few obsolete features from their code such as structs and unsigned integers, and our special version of G++ will seamlessly generate the necessary tens of thousands of class files.