I don't have specific feedback for you, but if you want to improve your value proposition and your messaging, I can recommend some books in the O'Reilly "Lean"

I don't have specific feedback for you, but if you want to improve your value proposition and your messaging, I can recommend some books in the O'Reilly "Lean" series, specifically Ash Maurya's "Running Lean" and Cindy Alvarez's "Lean Customer Development".