I've found that loving myself more has been helpful to reduce my wanting distractions from emotions. I'm a parent in my 40s, the primary caregiver, our child h

I've found that loving myself more has been helpful to reduce my wanting distractions from emotions. I'm a parent in my 40s, the primary caregiver, our child has some disabilities, and I need to be there for them; this has been a huge motivator in taking steps towards the kind of person I want to be. I reconnected with friends (who are also parents) during the past couple years and that helped significantly because we continued to build trust together, a practice that is helping my relationship with my spouse (who we rely on for money). Seeing what happiness can look like, when I've been grumpy most of my life (but thought I was happy...), has been huge. To focus and get things done I have to care about the Why of the doing, and once I have that, I get out of my way and do it, now often leaving my phone silent, no music or stories, and mindfully doing the work because I do a better job that way. If it's a rote task then there's room for music, but if there's appreciable benefit to open awareness instead of entertainment, then I go with that. How did I get here? Years of realizing in fits and starts that I had a problem and had been escaping (into all sorts of entertainment, mainly videogames) my emotions for decades. Learning from friends that I can take credit for things that I do that I appreciate, not just take responsibility for when things go wrong. Look beyond the symptoms for the root causes. Edit to add: while I still sometimes react defensively, I more often decouple being wrong from my sense of worth as a person among all you equally-worthy people, and am far more quick to apologize rather than to protect my ego by doubling down.