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You have to really work at it to truly die alone. Someone somewhere is going to remember you fondly unless you were a complete asshole. This is often the fate o

by Kye 4y ago

You have to really work at it to truly die alone. Someone somewhere is going to remember you fondly unless you were a complete asshole. This is often the fate of lifetime narcissists who no longer have the energy or presence of mind to maintain the façade. Even the most vicious of bigots have well-wishers at their funerals. You have to mess up hard to be less liked than a Fred Phelps type.

dhosek 4y ago
I make a point of thinking about those people I have known who have died from time to time and offering a prayer for them. The top of the list is a friend who died by suicide in college who it makes me sad to think that he’s mostly forgotten. Not because he was necessarily unique or special in some extraordinary way, but simply because he had once been alive.
htag 4y ago
I think living a long time can go a long way in increasing levels of 'alone' when you die. Age of death is probably the single most predictive variable for how many people attend a funeral. Let's discuss someone that lives a long time above the median lifespan. Maybe 95. Almost all of their former classmates, colleagues, siblings, cousins, partners, and peers are either dead or too sick to travel to the hospital/funeral. They've likely had mobility, energy, or cognitive problems that reduced their involvement in the community over the last 15 years. Many people 20 or 30 years younger that they might have mentored, raised, or inspired will have passed. To someone 40 years younger or more they would have always been 'old' in their mind, and generational gaps would conspire to make them further apart socially. Someone that dies younger than median will often have more hospital visitors and more funeral attendees by the simple fact that more of the people they knew in life are alive and healthy enough to travel.
- dsfyu404ed 4y ago
  The most attended funeral I ever went to was for a man who lived to almost 95. He lived in the same town his whole adult life. Everyone his generation was dead but he had made so many friends, business relationships neighbors and acquaintances over the years it didn't matter. Also helps that he had 9 kids which equates to a lot of grand children and great grand children.
- wanderingstan 4y ago
  My dad is 95 and this is his experience. We just did a trip to California to visit his college friend; one of only two people from his youth still alive.
exolymph 4y ago
Not having kids also produces this dynamic. A childless person is less likely to have strong connections amongst the still-vigorous once they're very old.

by Kye 4y ago

dhosek 4y ago

I make a point of thinking about those people I have known who have died from time to time and offering a prayer for them. The top of the list is a friend who died by suicide in college who it makes me sad to think that he’s mostly forgotten. Not because he was necessarily unique or special in some extraordinary way, but simply because he had once been alive.

htag 4y ago

I think living a long time can go a long way in increasing levels of 'alone' when you die. Age of death is probably the single most predictive variable for how many people attend a funeral. Let's discuss someone that lives a long time above the median lifespan. Maybe 95. Almost all of their former classmates, colleagues, siblings, cousins, partners, and peers are either dead or too sick to travel to the hospital/funeral. They've likely had mobility, energy, or cognitive problems that reduced their involvement in the community over the last 15 years. Many people 20 or 30 years younger that they might have mentored, raised, or inspired will have passed. To someone 40 years younger or more they would have always been 'old' in their mind, and generational gaps would conspire to make them further apart socially. Someone that dies younger than median will often have more hospital visitors and more funeral attendees by the simple fact that more of the people they knew in life are alive and healthy enough to travel.

dsfyu404ed 4y ago
The most attended funeral I ever went to was for a man who lived to almost 95. He lived in the same town his whole adult life. Everyone his generation was dead but he had made so many friends, business relationships neighbors and acquaintances over the years it didn't matter. Also helps that he had 9 kids which equates to a lot of grand children and great grand children.
wanderingstan 4y ago
My dad is 95 and this is his experience. We just did a trip to California to visit his college friend; one of only two people from his youth still alive.

exolymph 4y ago

Not having kids also produces this dynamic. A childless person is less likely to have strong connections amongst the still-vigorous once they're very old.