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Before the internet - I’m old enough to remember those days - we hung out more. People conversed and engaged in banter and whatnot. You could hang out for hou

Before the internet - I’m old enough to remember those days - we hung out more. People conversed and engaged in banter and whatnot. You could hang out for hours with friends. Kids especially were outside a lot more than now. As a kid we found ways to amuse ourselves. You’d spontaneously go to someone’s house and if they were there then hangout. If not you’d walk or bike around until you found some kids to play with. We played kickball in the streets. I never see kids playing in the streets in the U.S. (I grew up in the Canal Zone.). No one I know shows up to a friends house on a whim or unannounced. It’s all planned activities and the art of conversation has died in the U.S. We are social creatures and the solitary nature of being online has an unhealthy, anti-social side effect.

Lacerda69 4y ago
i dont know about you but we mostly did this because we were bored as fuck. plus dangerous behaviours like drinking, smoking, fighting with other kids, setting trash on fire, destroying property, stealing, an generally being a menace to society. i think playing a bit of vidya is a god alternative outlet, and it can be just as social. but i always admired the culture in the us where random ppl would strike up a conversation with you. if someone did that over here i would expect to get scammed, robbed or both.
- dorchadas 4y ago
  > and it can be just as social. I would argue it cannot be as social, even if you're talking to people. You won't ever get half the social cues that come from actual social interaction, nor the firing of mirror neurons that comes when people talk face-to-face, etc. In fact, Turkle makes a good argument that online communication is destroying empathy among a whole generation of kids, and they don't even know how to really communicate in person with another human being anymore, nor any idea of social manners, etc. Having taught secondary school for five years, I can't agree more with her conclusions.
- syzarian 4y ago
  The boredom caused us to be more social and to actively seek out people with whom to engage with. The isolation that the internet causes and the lack of walkability that is caused by a car centric culture are not good for us as a species. I didn’t have a cell phone until 2015. One time while teaching class at a community college my students found out that I didn’t have a cell phone. They asked me what I would do if my car broke down since I couldn’t call anyone. I told them I would walk to the nearest house and ask to use their phone. One student said, “I never would have thought of that.”. Another asked if I would be afraid of getting shot. American society has become anti-social and its very unhealthy that this is so.
safety1st 4y ago
In recent years I've been slowly reverting to 80s me, where as you say, we just hung out. (Mid 90s was when the idea of keeping in touch with friends online instead of in person started creeping in for me, initially via ICQ and AIM.) It's just better. 1980s mode (having a couple of good friends I spend a lot of time in person with) is better than 2020s mode (having hundreds or thousands of online "friends" who I'm not really that close to). I just find it more fulfilling to interact with people in meatspace.
dorchadas 4y ago
> No one I know shows up to a friends house on a whim or unannounced. It’s all planned activities and the art of conversation has died in the U.S. We are social creatures and the solitary nature of being online has an unhealthy, anti-social side effect. 100% agreed. I think it's actually the true underlying cause of the political fracturing we've seen in America (and are starting to see elsewhere as it filters out). It's also the biggest difference I've noticed since moving to Ireland. People still sometimes show up unannounced, just to see if you're home and want to chat, especially in more rural areas; plus, you have the pub culture where people go and just have a drink and a chat. It's not great, because drinking is expected (though thankfully alcohol free options have come a long way) but it's much better than what exists in America. I actually worry messenger apps like Discord make this worse, because you can just get a facsimile of human interaction online, and it's nowhere near the real thing; in fact, it can't be, because it won't trigger our brain the same way as seeing facial expressions, etc., does. Even more, I worry that as chatbots get better, we're going to see this trend get even worse as people turn to chatbots (and/or companies start shoving them in front of us). I can't see things getting better with the current state of the internet.
dpkirchner 4y ago
We hung out more, too, but that's because we were young and had fewer responsibilities. Now we're old and a bunch of us have kids or parents to take care of, jobs with varying hours, and we often had to move for our or our spouses' jobs. We can bemoan these facts but I don't think it's accurate to blame screens or the internet. If anything the internet has made it easier to stay in touch despite the aforementioned life changes.
- syzarian 4y ago
  [flagged]
Mezzie 4y ago
Yeah, we hung out more...if we had people to hang out with and got along. I was from the rural edges of a metro area in the 90s. My main interests at 6 years old were programming, astronomy (particularly star classification systems), video games, and child development. There were no people like me around; the internet made me more social (and more socially adept) than I otherwise would have been. My parents are socially stunted because they spent 40+ years of their lives being unable to be themselves with anyone other than their spouse, siblings, my dad's parents and their children because they were routinely mocked. We need to be careful not to be blinded by nostalgia glasses. There were some benefits to the old way of doing things, but there were substantial drawbacks as well, particularly for those who were out of step with their local community.

Lacerda69 4y ago

i dont know about you but we mostly did this because we were bored as fuck. plus dangerous behaviours like drinking, smoking, fighting with other kids, setting trash on fire, destroying property, stealing, an generally being a menace to society. i think playing a bit of vidya is a god alternative outlet, and it can be just as social. but i always admired the culture in the us where random ppl would strike up a conversation with you. if someone did that over here i would expect to get scammed, robbed or both.

dorchadas 4y ago
> and it can be just as social. I would argue it cannot be as social, even if you're talking to people. You won't ever get half the social cues that come from actual social interaction, nor the firing of mirror neurons that comes when people talk face-to-face, etc. In fact, Turkle makes a good argument that online communication is destroying empathy among a whole generation of kids, and they don't even know how to really communicate in person with another human being anymore, nor any idea of social manners, etc. Having taught secondary school for five years, I can't agree more with her conclusions.
syzarian 4y ago
The boredom caused us to be more social and to actively seek out people with whom to engage with. The isolation that the internet causes and the lack of walkability that is caused by a car centric culture are not good for us as a species. I didn’t have a cell phone until 2015. One time while teaching class at a community college my students found out that I didn’t have a cell phone. They asked me what I would do if my car broke down since I couldn’t call anyone. I told them I would walk to the nearest house and ask to use their phone. One student said, “I never would have thought of that.”. Another asked if I would be afraid of getting shot. American society has become anti-social and its very unhealthy that this is so.

safety1st 4y ago

In recent years I've been slowly reverting to 80s me, where as you say, we just hung out. (Mid 90s was when the idea of keeping in touch with friends online instead of in person started creeping in for me, initially via ICQ and AIM.) It's just better. 1980s mode (having a couple of good friends I spend a lot of time in person with) is better than 2020s mode (having hundreds or thousands of online "friends" who I'm not really that close to). I just find it more fulfilling to interact with people in meatspace.

dorchadas 4y ago

> No one I know shows up to a friends house on a whim or unannounced. It’s all planned activities and the art of conversation has died in the U.S. We are social creatures and the solitary nature of being online has an unhealthy, anti-social side effect. 100% agreed. I think it's actually the true underlying cause of the political fracturing we've seen in America (and are starting to see elsewhere as it filters out). It's also the biggest difference I've noticed since moving to Ireland. People still sometimes show up unannounced, just to see if you're home and want to chat, especially in more rural areas; plus, you have the pub culture where people go and just have a drink and a chat. It's not great, because drinking is expected (though thankfully alcohol free options have come a long way) but it's much better than what exists in America. I actually worry messenger apps like Discord make this worse, because you can just get a facsimile of human interaction online, and it's nowhere near the real thing; in fact, it can't be, because it won't trigger our brain the same way as seeing facial expressions, etc., does. Even more, I worry that as chatbots get better, we're going to see this trend get even worse as people turn to chatbots (and/or companies start shoving them in front of us). I can't see things getting better with the current state of the internet.

dpkirchner 4y ago

We hung out more, too, but that's because we were young and had fewer responsibilities. Now we're old and a bunch of us have kids or parents to take care of, jobs with varying hours, and we often had to move for our or our spouses' jobs. We can bemoan these facts but I don't think it's accurate to blame screens or the internet. If anything the internet has made it easier to stay in touch despite the aforementioned life changes.

syzarian 4y ago
[flagged]

Mezzie 4y ago

Yeah, we hung out more...if we had people to hang out with and got along. I was from the rural edges of a metro area in the 90s. My main interests at 6 years old were programming, astronomy (particularly star classification systems), video games, and child development. There were no people like me around; the internet made me more social (and more socially adept) than I otherwise would have been. My parents are socially stunted because they spent 40+ years of their lives being unable to be themselves with anyone other than their spouse, siblings, my dad's parents and their children because they were routinely mocked. We need to be careful not to be blinded by nostalgia glasses. There were some benefits to the old way of doing things, but there were substantial drawbacks as well, particularly for those who were out of step with their local community.