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It's easier to take care of a parent when they had 5-6 children, not when you're the single one. And to add to that, I am a single child. Knowledge that I'll b

It's easier to take care of a parent when they had 5-6 children, not when you're the single one. And to add to that, I am a single child. Knowledge that I'll be never able to leave my country or even my city because I'll have to take care of my parents isn't really uplifting.

ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago
When I was growing up I dreamed of living abroad, after I finished college I worked in a few foreign countries and then I came back home to pursue some career opportunities. I saw most of my siblings leave and settle in different countries far from home, all of them had the stereotypical expat experience, they're considered foreigners in their new country and they don't feel like they belong, and when they visit home they don't feel like they belong here either. They don't have a strong social support system and our parents also suffer because their children left, they can never see them and they can't get any help when any problem arises. Meanwhile looking at one of my sisters who stayed, she bought her house much faster than any of us, she has a long term partner, children, she lives close to our parents and her in-laws meaning she can get help from great array of people for childcare as well as any issues she encounters. She also has a rich social life that comes with all this. I used to feel the same way you do about having to stay close to my parents, and I really wanted to go back out there but I've come to think living abroad might be a mirage, the call of exoticism rather than something that will improve your life in any way. Your mileage may vary.
- jemmyw 4y ago
  It's true that you lead a different life as a migrant. There are cons for sure and childcare is a big one. The problem with your anecdote is that you can't know your life otherwise - you may not have been happy or formed those social connections or been able to buy a place even if you'd stayed, just because your sister did those things. For all you know people would just talk about her weird brother who never goes out. I grew up in one of the least affordable places in the UK and if I had stayed near my parents then I'm not sure we'd have had kids at all, and I know the kind of housing we'd have and owning that sooner doesn't appeal.

ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago

When I was growing up I dreamed of living abroad, after I finished college I worked in a few foreign countries and then I came back home to pursue some career opportunities. I saw most of my siblings leave and settle in different countries far from home, all of them had the stereotypical expat experience, they're considered foreigners in their new country and they don't feel like they belong, and when they visit home they don't feel like they belong here either. They don't have a strong social support system and our parents also suffer because their children left, they can never see them and they can't get any help when any problem arises. Meanwhile looking at one of my sisters who stayed, she bought her house much faster than any of us, she has a long term partner, children, she lives close to our parents and her in-laws meaning she can get help from great array of people for childcare as well as any issues she encounters. She also has a rich social life that comes with all this. I used to feel the same way you do about having to stay close to my parents, and I really wanted to go back out there but I've come to think living abroad might be a mirage, the call of exoticism rather than something that will improve your life in any way. Your mileage may vary.

jemmyw 4y ago
It's true that you lead a different life as a migrant. There are cons for sure and childcare is a big one. The problem with your anecdote is that you can't know your life otherwise - you may not have been happy or formed those social connections or been able to buy a place even if you'd stayed, just because your sister did those things. For all you know people would just talk about her weird brother who never goes out. I grew up in one of the least affordable places in the UK and if I had stayed near my parents then I'm not sure we'd have had kids at all, and I know the kind of housing we'd have and owning that sooner doesn't appeal.