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If he is using a phone, help him install the apps. Amazon, UPS, etc. Teach him to not click links in emails. Amazon wants him to do something? Easy. Go to

If he is using a phone, help him install the apps. Amazon, UPS, etc. Teach him to not click links in emails. Amazon wants him to do something? Easy. Go to the Amazon app. Amazon app not showing it? Maybe it was a scammer. This isn’t easy, and it isn’t foolproof. But just using the apps directly will help ensure he is interacting with the company he intends. Make activities contextual to hardware. Buy things on the Amazon app on his phone, even if he browses on a desktop. The phone has the app, so there’s no uncertainty that this is Amazon. In a way it is less convenient, but in a way it is far more so. Have the hard conversation. Maybe Dad needs a little extra oversight. Not because Dad is weak, but because Dad has already been strong enough to do the same for you when you were in need. (I’m being presumptuous here, apologies if that doesn’t track.) Maybe Dad needs shared accounts. Not because you don’t trust Dad. Because you don’t trust the internet, and it is a scary place. A different way to look at it is that right now your description sounds like reactive support. Something goes wrong. You try to help. I’m not assuming you haven’t attempted proactive support, but it sounds like it might need more of it. Especially with family members, it is easy to inadvertently do too little to avoid doing too much.

sickcodebruh 4y ago
Huh! I’m such an app-averse, just-give-me-a-website guy, I didn’t even think about trying to push him towards apps. That’s a great idea. And yes, I have been entirely reactive to it. I’ve explained how these scams worked, reminded him to stay vigilant, used all the typical tips, but I do think I need to make it harder for him to get in trouble.
- catchnear4321 4y ago
  Aging family members is difficult. Everyone is learning through the process. Whether you have kids or not, some of the experiences make it feel like you do. But that’s very difficult to reconcile, as this person raised you. It is hard not to internalize some feeling of “how dare I?” in these cases. Since when does a parent need their child’s help at such basic things? Parents raise their children, but I don’t know of a term that captures that same feeling about an adult caring for their elderly parent. If there isn’t, there ought to be. Additionally, consider looking into resources for caregivers. Reading material, maybe a support group, I don’t know. Whatever sounds right, if it sounds right. You are one, a caregiver, even if you didn’t know it. That’s hard work! Sometimes invisible, even to the worker. If you feel exhausted from all of this, that’s not an unreasonable feeling. It’s hard to be proactive if you’re worn out.
msh 4y ago
In addition to this very good advise try setting all devices up with DNS block lists, its most easily done by using nextdns.io or cloudflare safebrowsing DNS. It will filter out some of the malware and scams.
- catchnear4321 4y ago
  Not to disagree with this, but perhaps to caution… Be aware of the necessary ongoing investment for anything “Home IT” you do. If it requires being on-site, if something goes wrong and you are hours away it could be a big issue. Technical options are not bad. Sometimes they are the best. Just don’t forget to factor in ongoing maintenance and support, and all the ways that can go sideways. It’s important to not look at the problem in isolation, too. Sure, you might be a networking expert, run your own vpn in a colo, etc, etc. Do you have the necessary on-call AND on-site availability for when Mom can’t use Facebook because your pi-hole ate the sd card and you never got around to upgrading it to use a ssd?
  - piperswe 4y ago
    The benefit of using one of those hosted services is that they're basically set and forget - there's not much on your end that can go wrong.
- t-3 4y ago
  Doesn't really work nowadays that browsers are defaulting to DNS over HTTPS and smuggling everything past local firewalls and ignoring hosts files.
  - msh 4y ago
    Browsers still accept the response of the DNS servers. No firewalls or host files needed for my suggestion.

sickcodebruh 4y ago

Huh! I’m such an app-averse, just-give-me-a-website guy, I didn’t even think about trying to push him towards apps. That’s a great idea. And yes, I have been entirely reactive to it. I’ve explained how these scams worked, reminded him to stay vigilant, used all the typical tips, but I do think I need to make it harder for him to get in trouble.

catchnear4321 4y ago
Aging family members is difficult. Everyone is learning through the process. Whether you have kids or not, some of the experiences make it feel like you do. But that’s very difficult to reconcile, as this person raised you. It is hard not to internalize some feeling of “how dare I?” in these cases. Since when does a parent need their child’s help at such basic things? Parents raise their children, but I don’t know of a term that captures that same feeling about an adult caring for their elderly parent. If there isn’t, there ought to be. Additionally, consider looking into resources for caregivers. Reading material, maybe a support group, I don’t know. Whatever sounds right, if it sounds right. You are one, a caregiver, even if you didn’t know it. That’s hard work! Sometimes invisible, even to the worker. If you feel exhausted from all of this, that’s not an unreasonable feeling. It’s hard to be proactive if you’re worn out.

msh 4y ago

In addition to this very good advise try setting all devices up with DNS block lists, its most easily done by using nextdns.io or cloudflare safebrowsing DNS. It will filter out some of the malware and scams.

catchnear4321 4y ago
Not to disagree with this, but perhaps to caution… Be aware of the necessary ongoing investment for anything “Home IT” you do. If it requires being on-site, if something goes wrong and you are hours away it could be a big issue. Technical options are not bad. Sometimes they are the best. Just don’t forget to factor in ongoing maintenance and support, and all the ways that can go sideways. It’s important to not look at the problem in isolation, too. Sure, you might be a networking expert, run your own vpn in a colo, etc, etc. Do you have the necessary on-call AND on-site availability for when Mom can’t use Facebook because your pi-hole ate the sd card and you never got around to upgrading it to use a ssd?
- piperswe 4y ago
  The benefit of using one of those hosted services is that they're basically set and forget - there's not much on your end that can go wrong.
t-3 4y ago
Doesn't really work nowadays that browsers are defaulting to DNS over HTTPS and smuggling everything past local firewalls and ignoring hosts files.
- msh 4y ago
  Browsers still accept the response of the DNS servers. No firewalls or host files needed for my suggestion.