My mate's grandad was an army cook. He told me that he was an excellent cook, made amazing meals, but never - after being demobbed - got his head around making

My mate's grandad was an army cook. He told me that he was an excellent cook, made amazing meals, but never - after being demobbed - got his head around making not-army sized batches. So my mate would go round to his grandparents and find his grandad stirring a pot of chilli and a pot of stew and a pot of curry each roughly the size of a dustbin, and be greeted with "Oh hello, young lad, I wish I'd known you were coming, I'd have made you some dinner!"