3 ms·

sounds like you need a timeout. i know that feeling from burnout. not a doctor etc.

• jongjong 4y ago
  I was very optimistic in the first 5 years of my career, but for the last 7 years, whenever I started anything, I've had a feeling deep down that it wasn't going to work out financially. I still pushed through and produced some high quality projects but almost nobody uses them. My projects just cannot get any attention, no matter how good they are and how much positive feedback I get from those few people who do try them. Some of them do the exact same thing as some existing, proven multi-million dollar projects, yet I cannot even get a tiny sliver of their market share. I'm at a point where I'm paralyzed and afraid to start anything, afraid to even try to raise funding (I've been rejected hundreds of times). I know I will be rejected as soon as I start applying for funding; I feel that these funding application forms are designed intentionally to waste my time (and the time of people like me) and that there is 0 chance I will get funding no matter what I put there. The feeling is visceral. It's not about the projects, it's all about me. The elite don't want me to succeed. I feel like if someone else who is elite-approved had launched my projects and did everything exactly as I did, they would have been wildly successful just because they're not me. I'm now behaving similarly as these people who just procrastinate, complain and never try anything except in my case, I have so many failed multi-year projects under my belt. I look at any successful person with suspicion. They must have special connections; they must be elite-approved.