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I’ve also been working from home and very glad to have been there for my kids when they are young, but highly productive are not two words I’d use to describe t

by tyoma 4y ago

I’ve also been working from home and very glad to have been there for my kids when they are young, but highly productive are not two words I’d use to describe the experience. I guess my time management and prioritization skill have improved by necessity, but the lack of uninterrupted quiet time is real.

j45 4y ago
Add someone navigating this after an overly productive decade of remote work, but not one that is healthy or sustainable to be well rounded to access the next level of growth in all fronts, I’m beginning to wonder if having a separate space on the property might be something to try out. Those pre made work pods look more and more interesting.
- photonbeam 4y ago
  A lot of them were surprisingly expensive, I really hope someone like Home Depot comes out with something really cheap like their sheds but with some cheap interior
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
7sidedmarble 4y ago
You really need to have your own office space, and treat it like you are "going to work now" and working in your office. That space needs a door you can close. I know it sounds hard to do if your family is used to you 'floating around', but I can tell you with 100% certainty it will just not work out long term any other way.
- throwaway14356 4y ago
  I notice it depends on the task. For some things 50% work 50% recreation works great for me (specially at the end of my energy)
rco8786 4y ago
> but the lack of uninterrupted quiet time is real. Do you have dedicated office space in your home? This is crucial. Additionally, once the kids go to school the house gets very, very quiet for most of the day.
- tyoma 4y ago
  I do. But not like its sound proof. And sometimes your partner just needs help. And other times your kids stop by and ask for something. You can say you’re “at work” as much as you want, but you’re still at home. And yes, I am sure once everyone is at school for a big chunk of the day it all gets much easier.
  - scruple 4y ago
    Exactly my experience and what I came here to say. Locking myself in my home office during work hours isn't a solution to this problem. I have to use the bathroom, get water, coffee, eat lunch, take walks, etc. The kids see me and want to play, want to hang out, want to tell me about everything that happened since the last time they saw me. They might come to the office door and start pounding on it, yelling out for Mom or Dad, depending on who's in the office working. At that point one of us has to physically respond to the situation. There's also the simple fact that sometimes only Mom or Dad can truly manage the situation at hand. I've had to go break up fights outside in the back yard after I realized the background noise I was hearing was an exasperated grandparent who couldn't get them to stop. We have 3 kids, a set of twins and a singleton, whose average age is still under 3 years. It's a very challenging situation and work generally takes a back seat when the kids are in the house.
    - tyoma 4y ago
      Thank you! Reading WFH threads always contradicts my lived experience. I am happy to hear that someone else has the same problem and I am not alone.
  - gedy 4y ago
    > But not like its sound proof. And sometimes your partner just needs help. And other times your kids stop by and ask for something. You can say you’re “at work” as much as you want, but you’re still at home. Sounds exactly like issues at our open offices too?
Draiken 4y ago
Sure maybe having kids around might sometimes affect your productivity, but how is that any different than being in an open office? Phone calls, people talking around you, movement everywhere, unwanted taps on your shoulder and a lot more. Unless your job provides you with a closed office where you can actually focus on, it's pretty much the same as having kids around. When I worked in an office I remember the most productive hour I had was right after I got there, because I arrived ~1h early (due to commuting BS) and was basically alone. Once teammates arrive, it's chaos. No matter how good your headphones are, something will interrupt you at random times just like your kids. Except if you do have an office in your house, you can actually close the door and have uninterrupted time, even if it's in small chunks.
- tyoma 4y ago
  I’ve worked at an open office and its nothing alike, at least with young kids. There’s screaming and crying, if your help is needed, it needs to be right now, kids wont take no for an answer, etc. When I was in an open office, people generally kept a reasonable background volume my brain could tune out. As adults, they respected my answers the first time, and certainly no one screamed at me.
  - Draiken 4y ago
    My kids didn't scream at me more regularly than coworkers tapped me in the shoulder to talk about random shit or ask questions that could be answered with a single search. Of course everyone's experience will vary, which kind of invalidates the idea that all of this is because of WFH. It depends on your kids, your home/office, your work office, teammates, commute time and so on. My point is that blanket statements like "WFH with kids ruins productivity" don't accurately portray the reality and helps bad managers justify unjustifiable RTO policies with anecdotes. I know you didn't use a blanket statement though. But when I read your comment I could almost feel a bad manager reading it and using it to ruin more people's lives. Sorry about the rant.
    - musha68k 4y ago
      I remember the most frustrating usually was coming in extra early so I can get some deep work done and suddenly the whole open office space fills up. People are laughing and trying to get your opinion on the latest Netflix show or worse, something actually interesting. In-person interaction can be fun and is important for team bonding and meta work communication but it would be so much better to facilitate that explicitly, outside of the work space. Optimally this would mean 95% remote plus cool getaways together (at minimum, actually fun evenings out). It’s like with conferences, the most important learning usually happens outside of the premises. Why not be smart about that fact?
raydev 4y ago
Also went through this a few years ago. Instead of being able to end my work day at a reasonable time, I made up for the "inefficiency" by working all sorts of hours. The tradeoff is being away from the people I love for 8-10 hours a day, and even just being present in a baby's/toddler's life is huge. I'd still stay home again. I recommend finding a nearby coworking space. Spend 2-4 hours of the house if the chaos is too much.

by tyoma 4y ago

j45 4y ago

Add someone navigating this after an overly productive decade of remote work, but not one that is healthy or sustainable to be well rounded to access the next level of growth in all fronts, I’m beginning to wonder if having a separate space on the property might be something to try out. Those pre made work pods look more and more interesting.

photonbeam 4y ago
A lot of them were surprisingly expensive, I really hope someone like Home Depot comes out with something really cheap like their sheds but with some cheap interior
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]

7sidedmarble 4y ago

You really need to have your own office space, and treat it like you are "going to work now" and working in your office. That space needs a door you can close. I know it sounds hard to do if your family is used to you 'floating around', but I can tell you with 100% certainty it will just not work out long term any other way.

throwaway14356 4y ago
I notice it depends on the task. For some things 50% work 50% recreation works great for me (specially at the end of my energy)

rco8786 4y ago

> but the lack of uninterrupted quiet time is real. Do you have dedicated office space in your home? This is crucial. Additionally, once the kids go to school the house gets very, very quiet for most of the day.

tyoma 4y ago
I do. But not like its sound proof. And sometimes your partner just needs help. And other times your kids stop by and ask for something. You can say you’re “at work” as much as you want, but you’re still at home. And yes, I am sure once everyone is at school for a big chunk of the day it all gets much easier.
- scruple 4y ago
  Exactly my experience and what I came here to say. Locking myself in my home office during work hours isn't a solution to this problem. I have to use the bathroom, get water, coffee, eat lunch, take walks, etc. The kids see me and want to play, want to hang out, want to tell me about everything that happened since the last time they saw me. They might come to the office door and start pounding on it, yelling out for Mom or Dad, depending on who's in the office working. At that point one of us has to physically respond to the situation. There's also the simple fact that sometimes only Mom or Dad can truly manage the situation at hand. I've had to go break up fights outside in the back yard after I realized the background noise I was hearing was an exasperated grandparent who couldn't get them to stop. We have 3 kids, a set of twins and a singleton, whose average age is still under 3 years. It's a very challenging situation and work generally takes a back seat when the kids are in the house.
  - tyoma 4y ago
    Thank you! Reading WFH threads always contradicts my lived experience. I am happy to hear that someone else has the same problem and I am not alone.
- gedy 4y ago
  > But not like its sound proof. And sometimes your partner just needs help. And other times your kids stop by and ask for something. You can say you’re “at work” as much as you want, but you’re still at home. Sounds exactly like issues at our open offices too?

Draiken 4y ago

Sure maybe having kids around might sometimes affect your productivity, but how is that any different than being in an open office? Phone calls, people talking around you, movement everywhere, unwanted taps on your shoulder and a lot more. Unless your job provides you with a closed office where you can actually focus on, it's pretty much the same as having kids around. When I worked in an office I remember the most productive hour I had was right after I got there, because I arrived ~1h early (due to commuting BS) and was basically alone. Once teammates arrive, it's chaos. No matter how good your headphones are, something will interrupt you at random times just like your kids. Except if you do have an office in your house, you can actually close the door and have uninterrupted time, even if it's in small chunks.

tyoma 4y ago
I’ve worked at an open office and its nothing alike, at least with young kids. There’s screaming and crying, if your help is needed, it needs to be right now, kids wont take no for an answer, etc. When I was in an open office, people generally kept a reasonable background volume my brain could tune out. As adults, they respected my answers the first time, and certainly no one screamed at me.
- Draiken 4y ago
  My kids didn't scream at me more regularly than coworkers tapped me in the shoulder to talk about random shit or ask questions that could be answered with a single search. Of course everyone's experience will vary, which kind of invalidates the idea that all of this is because of WFH. It depends on your kids, your home/office, your work office, teammates, commute time and so on. My point is that blanket statements like "WFH with kids ruins productivity" don't accurately portray the reality and helps bad managers justify unjustifiable RTO policies with anecdotes. I know you didn't use a blanket statement though. But when I read your comment I could almost feel a bad manager reading it and using it to ruin more people's lives. Sorry about the rant.
  - musha68k 4y ago
    I remember the most frustrating usually was coming in extra early so I can get some deep work done and suddenly the whole open office space fills up. People are laughing and trying to get your opinion on the latest Netflix show or worse, something actually interesting. In-person interaction can be fun and is important for team bonding and meta work communication but it would be so much better to facilitate that explicitly, outside of the work space. Optimally this would mean 95% remote plus cool getaways together (at minimum, actually fun evenings out). It’s like with conferences, the most important learning usually happens outside of the premises. Why not be smart about that fact?

raydev 4y ago

Also went through this a few years ago. Instead of being able to end my work day at a reasonable time, I made up for the "inefficiency" by working all sorts of hours. The tradeoff is being away from the people I love for 8-10 hours a day, and even just being present in a baby's/toddler's life is huge. I'd still stay home again. I recommend finding a nearby coworking space. Spend 2-4 hours of the house if the chaos is too much.