I once got a phone call from a guy who stole my bike, begging me not to press charges. He'd overheard my name from the cops, and I was in the phone book. I sa

I once got a phone call from a guy who stole my bike, begging me not to press charges. He'd overheard my name from the cops, and I was in the phone book. I said I'd press charges anyway and I hoped he rotted in jail. Of course, joke was on both of us, since there's no such thing as "pressing charges" and he just had to pay a fine.