4 ms·

> Are you saying folks should be pressured to date someone they don't find attractive? No I am not. What I am saying is that these preferences are merely place

> Are you saying folks should be pressured to date someone they don't find attractive? No I am not. What I am saying is that these preferences are merely places in U.S. society where discrimination objectively occurs, and sometimes people seem not to be cognizant of that.

the_af 4y ago
I think I understand what you are saying, but I must ask: who is not cognizant that wanting/rejecting sexual or romantic partners is an act of discrimination? Some people like to pretend that looks don't matter, but even they discriminate by something, be it looks, or status, or cultural background, or shared interests. Otherwise the next random person to come along would be as good as anyone as a dating or sex partner.
- athrowaway1324 4y ago
  > who is not cognizant that wanting/rejecting sexual or romantic partners is an act of discrimination? The commenter above, who said "older ladies need to show some youthfulness" and "they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" could have been a bit more cognizant.
  - snozolli 4y ago
    The commenter who said "older ladies need to show some youthfulness" and "they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" could have been a bit more cognizant. You're misrepresenting what he wrote.
    - athrowaway1324 4y ago
      What part of: "older ladies need to show some youthfulness. Some people have clearly given up in middle age in terms of taking care of themselves and doing interesting things. I’m not interested in these folks — they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" did I misrepresent with my selected quotations? I'm glad they're frank about their preferences, it's just how they choose to phrase it was just a little tactless, that's all. These are actual human people we're talking about, not just meat. Dating has real economic consequences, and this commenter seemed to get an inappropriate amount of enjoyment out of -- what I'd argue at least is -- kicking people down due to a protected characteristic (age). So yes, their comment is a decent example of the lack of perspective I was discussing.
      - snozolli 4y ago
        You left out the part which allowed you to misrepresent him as being ageist! Some people have clearly given up in middle age in terms of taking care of themselves and doing interesting things. I’m not interested in these folks As for your condescending "people, not meat" comment, WTF? The guy doesn't want to be with a sad sack. Guess what? He's human, too, and he doesn't have to resign himself to the sad sack state of others just for the sake of their humanity.
noslenwerdna 4y ago
But this is just wordplay. You are pressuring them by coopting the register of social justice in this way. There's nothing wrong with people having preferences in dating.

the_af 4y ago

I think I understand what you are saying, but I must ask: who is not cognizant that wanting/rejecting sexual or romantic partners is an act of discrimination? Some people like to pretend that looks don't matter, but even they discriminate by something, be it looks, or status, or cultural background, or shared interests. Otherwise the next random person to come along would be as good as anyone as a dating or sex partner.

athrowaway1324 4y ago
> who is not cognizant that wanting/rejecting sexual or romantic partners is an act of discrimination? The commenter above, who said "older ladies need to show some youthfulness" and "they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" could have been a bit more cognizant.
- snozolli 4y ago
  The commenter who said "older ladies need to show some youthfulness" and "they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" could have been a bit more cognizant. You're misrepresenting what he wrote.
  - athrowaway1324 4y ago
    What part of: "older ladies need to show some youthfulness. Some people have clearly given up in middle age in terms of taking care of themselves and doing interesting things. I’m not interested in these folks — they seem like they have one foot in the grave to me" did I misrepresent with my selected quotations? I'm glad they're frank about their preferences, it's just how they choose to phrase it was just a little tactless, that's all. These are actual human people we're talking about, not just meat. Dating has real economic consequences, and this commenter seemed to get an inappropriate amount of enjoyment out of -- what I'd argue at least is -- kicking people down due to a protected characteristic (age). So yes, their comment is a decent example of the lack of perspective I was discussing.
    - snozolli 4y ago
      You left out the part which allowed you to misrepresent him as being ageist! Some people have clearly given up in middle age in terms of taking care of themselves and doing interesting things. I’m not interested in these folks As for your condescending "people, not meat" comment, WTF? The guy doesn't want to be with a sad sack. Guess what? He's human, too, and he doesn't have to resign himself to the sad sack state of others just for the sake of their humanity.

noslenwerdna 4y ago

But this is just wordplay. You are pressuring them by coopting the register of social justice in this way. There's nothing wrong with people having preferences in dating.