4 ms·

Anecdotally I've found the opposite. Whenever I see a couple that didn't meet on dating apps, I ask the woman if she would have swiped right on the man if she _

by rohan_ 4y ago

Anecdotally I've found the opposite. Whenever I see a couple that didn't meet on dating apps, I ask the woman if she would have swiped right on the man if she _did_ see him on an app, she always says "no". It seems women are way less picky when meeting in-person.

m348e912 4y ago
This is absolutely true, but the woman also doesn't have to sift through 100's of potential suiters in real life also. You have touched on one the biggest issues with online dating, woman getting overwhelmed with matches resulting in having to be picky about things that perhaps they would be less concerned with if they met in real life. I've read stories about how some woman have unenthusiastically swiped right on a guy based on their profile, but after meeting they ended up hitting off. The next successful iteration of a dating app is either none at all or one that figures out how to detoxify the online dating process.
- cmh89 4y ago
  Online dating de-contextualizes people and no amount of filtering can change that. When you meet people IRL you have some context for them and want they like to do. For example, I met my wife as she was the roommate of a new male friend I'd made. Because of our shared friend, I was pretty confident when she said she liked biking or hiking, that it was at the same level I did, because that's something that friend group was in to.
- bombcar 4y ago
  "Real life" provides tons of "gatekeeping" of all sorts, the online systems have to (badly) replicated it on some small number of inputs. (example: if you meet someone at a college, you ALREADY have tons in common simply from the fact that you're at the same college, and colleges also incidentally filter for a bunch of other things, too)
  - FalconSensei 4y ago
    exactly! Also: in real life, you don't have to ask someone's height/weight because well... you are already seeing them and finding them attractive or not
    - monksy 4y ago
      Let's also acknowledge that in real life, their preferences on a person's size isn't based on ideals or [mostly] overblown ego of what they deserve. On a college campus: If a dude wants a woman with FFFs, and the population is mostly Bs, he's going to have to come to reality, otherwise he's going to be lonely. That doesn't happen on online dating when you're inundated with a large population.
      - bombcar 4y ago
        It's almost a trope that "the guy" who has a "type" ends up with a girl that doesn't match many of the descriptive features. Meeting outside of designated online dating systems encourages you to encounter the other as a person first, instead of a database entry.
mywittyname 4y ago
It helps that we have a somewhat automated system for determining if we like someone in a romantic way. But this system only really works in real life.

by rohan_ 4y ago

m348e912 4y ago

This is absolutely true, but the woman also doesn't have to sift through 100's of potential suiters in real life also. You have touched on one the biggest issues with online dating, woman getting overwhelmed with matches resulting in having to be picky about things that perhaps they would be less concerned with if they met in real life. I've read stories about how some woman have unenthusiastically swiped right on a guy based on their profile, but after meeting they ended up hitting off. The next successful iteration of a dating app is either none at all or one that figures out how to detoxify the online dating process.

cmh89 4y ago
Online dating de-contextualizes people and no amount of filtering can change that. When you meet people IRL you have some context for them and want they like to do. For example, I met my wife as she was the roommate of a new male friend I'd made. Because of our shared friend, I was pretty confident when she said she liked biking or hiking, that it was at the same level I did, because that's something that friend group was in to.
bombcar 4y ago
"Real life" provides tons of "gatekeeping" of all sorts, the online systems have to (badly) replicated it on some small number of inputs. (example: if you meet someone at a college, you ALREADY have tons in common simply from the fact that you're at the same college, and colleges also incidentally filter for a bunch of other things, too)
- FalconSensei 4y ago
  exactly! Also: in real life, you don't have to ask someone's height/weight because well... you are already seeing them and finding them attractive or not
  - monksy 4y ago
    Let's also acknowledge that in real life, their preferences on a person's size isn't based on ideals or [mostly] overblown ego of what they deserve. On a college campus: If a dude wants a woman with FFFs, and the population is mostly Bs, he's going to have to come to reality, otherwise he's going to be lonely. That doesn't happen on online dating when you're inundated with a large population.
    - bombcar 4y ago
      It's almost a trope that "the guy" who has a "type" ends up with a girl that doesn't match many of the descriptive features. Meeting outside of designated online dating systems encourages you to encounter the other as a person first, instead of a database entry.

mywittyname 4y ago

It helps that we have a somewhat automated system for determining if we like someone in a romantic way. But this system only really works in real life.