5 ms·

Yeah, you don't want to miss that Short King with the Lambo.

giraffe_lady 4y ago
The real reason to filter out short men is they tend to have exactly this sort of complex about it. It's the king part not the lambo you don't want to miss.
- TechBro8615 4y ago
  That's what I would expect a giraffe lady to say :)
  - giraffe_lady 4y ago
    ha true good point
  - mastersummoner 4y ago
    I can't believe how well you were set up for this one, haha.
    - TechBro8615 4y ago
      FWIW, as someone 5'8", I also filter out women who are taller than me. So I don't hold any grudges against women who filter out men who are shorter than them. And I think "giraffe ladies" actually have it equally as bad as short kings. Most men don't want to date someone taller than them. I think what some men find annoying is when short women filter out men under some arbitrary height. But personally I don't really care, that's their right to do (newsflash: people have preferences), and the better looking they are, the more of a reason they have to do it anyway. Also, not all dating apps require you to list your height, so you can omit it from your bio at the risk of a disappointed look upon first meet, but that's up to you to make up for with confidence.
    - truncate 4y ago
      >>> FWIW, as someone 5'8", I also filter out women who are taller than me. As a man, would you filter out taller women if you are casually dating? I think the preferences also depends on what you are looking for.
      - TechBro8615 4y ago
        Yes, but just because that's my preference and I'm not *that* short. Most girls are shorter than me. If I were 5'3" or something, then it would obviously be more difficult to have such a preference. I do feel a lot of empathy for those guys.
      - kevin_thibedeau 4y ago
        Many taller women have a dismissive attitude toward anyone shorter than them. I once had a 6'1" woman become infatuated with me. She let it be known that someone taller than me was "too short". It isn't worth the bother fighting against instinct. Of course woe to the man who expresses equivalent arbitrary requirements on fixed physical attributes in their selection criteria.
        opportune 4y ago
        I’d caution against universalizing these preferences. I’m dating someone an inch taller than me and height so far isn’t a problem. I’d be sad if I didn’t meet her because of worrying about what she’d think about my height
        truncate 4y ago
        It's more of an outlier than a norm IMO. It is wrong to say everyone has particular preference about height, but for majority there is IMO, even though it's not what we want to see/hear. I was significantly more successful in dating, when I had height filter set to women 2 inch shorter than me (right from getting matches).
        opportune 4y ago
- monksy 4y ago
  lol. I love this attitude. The lack of self awareness that rejecting people that have had negative experiences causes negative experiences. Have you talked with people who are short, dated them, and/or attempted to talk to them when they go on a negative spiral?
  - giraffe_lady 4y ago
    yes? why do you assume I'm talking out of my ass here lol. It's your responsibility to not let your negative experiences poison your soul. I have never personally filtered out short men but I've also seen enough of them with this nasty incel-lite attitude about why no one wants to date them that I understand why someone would.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
    - monksy 4y ago
      >have never personally filtered out short men You stated a hard preference on why you don't like short men here: > The real reason to filter out short men is they tend to have exactly this sort of complex about it. It's 100% fine to have your preference, and even more reasonable to not want to be around people who have aggressive attitudes. But don't be surprised when that group looks terrible when your viewpoint is nothing but that negativity you associated with them.
      - giraffe_lady 4y ago
        Nah I was saying that a valid & relevant reason exists, not that I act on that reason in my own life.
        Dma54rhs 4y ago
        It's still bigotry though.
        4y ago
- Teever 4y ago
  I'm pretty sure that most women are just not attracted to men even moderately shorter than themselves but they're too prideful to admit it so we get stuff like what you're saying and 'I want to date a guy I can wear heels around.' Most people would rather just hear 'I'm not attracted to you because of an immutable physical characteristic' than some wishy-washy and nebulous dig on their personality.
  - Gracana 4y ago
    Someone will complain regardless. The “problem” is women having preferences, not the way they express them.
    - Teever 4y ago
      Someone will always complain. Honest is still the best policy.
    - midoridensha 4y ago
      Having preferences is still a problem (a real problem) when your preferences are utterly unrealistic and ridiculous. Such as not-so-attractive 5'2" women demanding to only date men who are 6'4", or 60-year-old men refusing to date women older than 30. Of course, I guess you could argue that people like this really shouldn't be in relationships to begin with, so it's better if they maintain their preferences and standards and refuse to budge, effectively self-opting out of the dating pool.
      - jjj123 4y ago
        Why are unrealistic preferences a problem for anyone but the person with the unrealistic preferences? The only way someone else’s standards become a problem for you is when you feel entitled to that person’s attraction (“I’m a 7 and she’s a 6, therefore she should give me a chance. But she only talks to 9s, the nerve!”). But you’re not actually entitled to anyone’s attraction, so that’s on you, not on them.
        4y ago
- throwaway290 4y ago
  Controversial but maybe under-appreciated point. Similar here, I tend to filter by age on these apps not because that's what I'm strictly into but because in my limited experience older ladies tend to be more thirsty/desperate and that makes it difficult for me... I know I can meet a person above set age limit who will tick required boxes but chance of memorably awkward date seems too high.
  - TechBro8615 4y ago
    I think that depends on your definition of "thirsty." The older ladies tend to be more interested in long-term dating, while the younger ladies are often (rather enthusiastically) open to short-term dating with older guys.
    - throwaway290 4y ago
      Yes enthusiastically short term younger dates can be awkward also, end result I don't use these apps recently, meet in real life or not at all...
    - midoridensha 4y ago
      In my experience, ladies that are too young seem to just be there for a free meal, and hoping to find a rich sugar daddy to buy luxury goods for her. Older ladies are frequently downright desperate, but yes, generally only interested in something long-term.
      - throwaway290 4y ago
        I am certainly not at risk of being used as luxury good buyer. But a meet over a free (for her) meal can be fine and not at all awkward IMO, this way it doesn't feel like I am wasting someone's time if it turns out I am not interested (and if she's not interested well I got a conversation out of it).

The real reason to filter out short men is they tend to have exactly this sort of complex about it. It's the king part not the lambo you don't want to miss.

TechBro8615 4y ago
That's what I would expect a giraffe lady to say :)
- giraffe_lady 4y ago
  ha true good point
- mastersummoner 4y ago
  I can't believe how well you were set up for this one, haha.
  - TechBro8615 4y ago
    FWIW, as someone 5'8", I also filter out women who are taller than me. So I don't hold any grudges against women who filter out men who are shorter than them. And I think "giraffe ladies" actually have it equally as bad as short kings. Most men don't want to date someone taller than them. I think what some men find annoying is when short women filter out men under some arbitrary height. But personally I don't really care, that's their right to do (newsflash: people have preferences), and the better looking they are, the more of a reason they have to do it anyway. Also, not all dating apps require you to list your height, so you can omit it from your bio at the risk of a disappointed look upon first meet, but that's up to you to make up for with confidence.
  - truncate 4y ago
    >>> FWIW, as someone 5'8", I also filter out women who are taller than me. As a man, would you filter out taller women if you are casually dating? I think the preferences also depends on what you are looking for.
    - TechBro8615 4y ago
      Yes, but just because that's my preference and I'm not *that* short. Most girls are shorter than me. If I were 5'3" or something, then it would obviously be more difficult to have such a preference. I do feel a lot of empathy for those guys.
    - kevin_thibedeau 4y ago
      Many taller women have a dismissive attitude toward anyone shorter than them. I once had a 6'1" woman become infatuated with me. She let it be known that someone taller than me was "too short". It isn't worth the bother fighting against instinct. Of course woe to the man who expresses equivalent arbitrary requirements on fixed physical attributes in their selection criteria.
      - opportune 4y ago
        I’d caution against universalizing these preferences. I’m dating someone an inch taller than me and height so far isn’t a problem. I’d be sad if I didn’t meet her because of worrying about what she’d think about my height
        truncate 4y ago
        It's more of an outlier than a norm IMO. It is wrong to say everyone has particular preference about height, but for majority there is IMO, even though it's not what we want to see/hear. I was significantly more successful in dating, when I had height filter set to women 2 inch shorter than me (right from getting matches).
        opportune 4y ago
monksy 4y ago
lol. I love this attitude. The lack of self awareness that rejecting people that have had negative experiences causes negative experiences. Have you talked with people who are short, dated them, and/or attempted to talk to them when they go on a negative spiral?
- giraffe_lady 4y ago
  yes? why do you assume I'm talking out of my ass here lol. It's your responsibility to not let your negative experiences poison your soul. I have never personally filtered out short men but I've also seen enough of them with this nasty incel-lite attitude about why no one wants to date them that I understand why someone would.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
  - monksy 4y ago
    >have never personally filtered out short men You stated a hard preference on why you don't like short men here: > The real reason to filter out short men is they tend to have exactly this sort of complex about it. It's 100% fine to have your preference, and even more reasonable to not want to be around people who have aggressive attitudes. But don't be surprised when that group looks terrible when your viewpoint is nothing but that negativity you associated with them.
    - giraffe_lady 4y ago
      Nah I was saying that a valid & relevant reason exists, not that I act on that reason in my own life.
      - Dma54rhs 4y ago
        It's still bigotry though.
        4y ago
Teever 4y ago
I'm pretty sure that most women are just not attracted to men even moderately shorter than themselves but they're too prideful to admit it so we get stuff like what you're saying and 'I want to date a guy I can wear heels around.' Most people would rather just hear 'I'm not attracted to you because of an immutable physical characteristic' than some wishy-washy and nebulous dig on their personality.
- Gracana 4y ago
  Someone will complain regardless. The “problem” is women having preferences, not the way they express them.
  - Teever 4y ago
    Someone will always complain. Honest is still the best policy.
  - midoridensha 4y ago
    Having preferences is still a problem (a real problem) when your preferences are utterly unrealistic and ridiculous. Such as not-so-attractive 5'2" women demanding to only date men who are 6'4", or 60-year-old men refusing to date women older than 30. Of course, I guess you could argue that people like this really shouldn't be in relationships to begin with, so it's better if they maintain their preferences and standards and refuse to budge, effectively self-opting out of the dating pool.
    - jjj123 4y ago
      Why are unrealistic preferences a problem for anyone but the person with the unrealistic preferences? The only way someone else’s standards become a problem for you is when you feel entitled to that person’s attraction (“I’m a 7 and she’s a 6, therefore she should give me a chance. But she only talks to 9s, the nerve!”). But you’re not actually entitled to anyone’s attraction, so that’s on you, not on them.
      - 4y ago
throwaway290 4y ago
Controversial but maybe under-appreciated point. Similar here, I tend to filter by age on these apps not because that's what I'm strictly into but because in my limited experience older ladies tend to be more thirsty/desperate and that makes it difficult for me... I know I can meet a person above set age limit who will tick required boxes but chance of memorably awkward date seems too high.
- TechBro8615 4y ago
  I think that depends on your definition of "thirsty." The older ladies tend to be more interested in long-term dating, while the younger ladies are often (rather enthusiastically) open to short-term dating with older guys.
  - throwaway290 4y ago
    Yes enthusiastically short term younger dates can be awkward also, end result I don't use these apps recently, meet in real life or not at all...
  - midoridensha 4y ago
    In my experience, ladies that are too young seem to just be there for a free meal, and hoping to find a rich sugar daddy to buy luxury goods for her. Older ladies are frequently downright desperate, but yes, generally only interested in something long-term.
    - throwaway290 4y ago
      I am certainly not at risk of being used as luxury good buyer. But a meet over a free (for her) meal can be fine and not at all awkward IMO, this way it doesn't feel like I am wasting someone's time if it turns out I am not interested (and if she's not interested well I got a conversation out of it).