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You can have best friends and still be lonely.

buggythebug 4y ago
[flagged]
manuelmoreale 4y ago
Isn't that counter intuitive? Isn't a friend supposed to be a positive presence in someone's life? How can you have friends and still be lonely?
- jzb 4y ago
  Having a friend does it mean that you have access to that friend all of the time or even most of the time. Adult friendships are usually held by people who have very busy lives with their family and other friends. There are a lot of popular tropes and memes about adult friendship being a series of “we should catch up soon” back and forth until one of you dies. It doesn’t mean the friendships aren’t real. But having children and a job can pretty much suck the oxygen completely out of the ability to have and maintain frequent contact with friends. I’m in my 50s and have several friends that I would consider very very good friends. We all have very different schedules and family obligations. If I’m very lucky, I might see them once a month. This isn’t like college when you might see your friend every day for several hours. So if you’re a single person and your friends have families, it’s real possible to be lonely in the spaces between when you get to spend time with your friends.
  - manuelmoreale 4y ago
    > I’m in my 50s and have several friends that I would consider very very good friends. We all have very different schedules and family obligations. If I’m very lucky, I might see them once a month. And that's absolutely ok. That is life. But I'm also sure that if one of those friends needs you or you feel that he needs some kind of help, you'd find time for them because that's what friends do.
    - jzb 4y ago
      Yeah, but that’s not going to prevent someone from feeling lonely on a long-term basis. Especially not somebody who is single, while all their friends are partnered and/or have children.
- UncleEntity 4y ago
  If your friends all have families they don’t have a whole lot of time to hang out with their one single, lonely friend who lives in another state. Maybe a phone call here or there but the going ons of the kids and grandkids take priority. These things happen.
Lapsa 4y ago
and you can have a best friend, be lonely and then lose your only best friend. tbf I have stopped caring. loneliness is the natural state
- commonYarrow 4y ago
  You can’t lose somebody who’s in your heart.
  - Lapsa 4y ago
    yeah... a figment of imagination that used to exist or something. very useful

[flagged]

Isn't that counter intuitive? Isn't a friend supposed to be a positive presence in someone's life? How can you have friends and still be lonely?

jzb 4y ago
Having a friend does it mean that you have access to that friend all of the time or even most of the time. Adult friendships are usually held by people who have very busy lives with their family and other friends. There are a lot of popular tropes and memes about adult friendship being a series of “we should catch up soon” back and forth until one of you dies. It doesn’t mean the friendships aren’t real. But having children and a job can pretty much suck the oxygen completely out of the ability to have and maintain frequent contact with friends. I’m in my 50s and have several friends that I would consider very very good friends. We all have very different schedules and family obligations. If I’m very lucky, I might see them once a month. This isn’t like college when you might see your friend every day for several hours. So if you’re a single person and your friends have families, it’s real possible to be lonely in the spaces between when you get to spend time with your friends.
- manuelmoreale 4y ago
  > I’m in my 50s and have several friends that I would consider very very good friends. We all have very different schedules and family obligations. If I’m very lucky, I might see them once a month. And that's absolutely ok. That is life. But I'm also sure that if one of those friends needs you or you feel that he needs some kind of help, you'd find time for them because that's what friends do.
  - jzb 4y ago
    Yeah, but that’s not going to prevent someone from feeling lonely on a long-term basis. Especially not somebody who is single, while all their friends are partnered and/or have children.
UncleEntity 4y ago
If your friends all have families they don’t have a whole lot of time to hang out with their one single, lonely friend who lives in another state. Maybe a phone call here or there but the going ons of the kids and grandkids take priority. These things happen.

Lapsa 4y ago

and you can have a best friend, be lonely and then lose your only best friend. tbf I have stopped caring. loneliness is the natural state

commonYarrow 4y ago
You can’t lose somebody who’s in your heart.
- Lapsa 4y ago
  yeah... a figment of imagination that used to exist or something. very useful