4 ms·

The school is at fault. Schools are spineless. My brother dealt with bullying at school a few years ago. Constant harassment, abuse, the usual. He would hate

by plasma 15y ago

The school is at fault. Schools are spineless. My brother dealt with bullying at school a few years ago. Constant harassment, abuse, the usual. He would hate going to school, and come home crying. On the weekends, he would disappear at times and we would have to call the police to help us find him, as he told us he was going to jump into oncoming traffic. 1) The privately paid school he went to had a "Zero tolerance" bullying policy. They did not act on it. 2) The kid(s) who were part of the bullying were eventually pulled aside and asked to stop the harassment, yet continued to do so. 3) After the problem was known about by teachers, students and staff, nothing of value was ever done. The bullying continued, just more passively now. So he changed schools. Now he's just graduated, and he's happy to be done. -- Why are schools so SPINELESS? Where is the expulsion of these kids who think its all fun and games? Why do schools seem to try everything in their power to keep the bad kids in, and force the good kids out? Where is the spine and values people should hold, especially at a school in charge of children's welfare and education, at a time like this? It's pathetic.

mlsuthe 15y ago
The line between "fun and games" and "damaging" is very grey and differs widely from administrator to administrator. I know a lot of people (and I'm sure there are a lot of teachers/administrators) who harbor the "harden up and get over it" viewpoint. Legislating out bullying, while a productive first step, will not make it go away. It's the conflation of factors that tell young kids that "gay = wrong/weak/unmanly"--parents, media, peers, etc. Of course it should be our mission to make schools a safe place for kids, but that's only a part of the solution. Many kids live in homophobic home environments, engage in extracurriculars (namely, sports) that are typically more homophobic, or have role models that reinforce homophobia (some religions are this way). In order to cultivate safe spaces, schools do need: -to call out bigotry wherever it is (zero tolerance policies that are actually enforced) -to give teachers and administrators sensitivity training -counseling, resources, and positive role models -specifically designated LGBT safe spaces And keep in mind that things have gotten a lot better for LGBT kids in school. Just ten years ago a lot of this stuff was simply shrugged off and pinned on kids who "couldn't handle" a "normal" amount of bullying.
- thret 15y ago
  "-specifically designated LGBT safe spaces" That's hilariously bad. Every place should be equally safe. You want to herd the LGBT kids into a corner?
  - mlsuthe 15y ago
    In an ideal world, every place would be equally safe, but that LGBT suicide happens is evidence that we don't live in that world. A GSA or similar program is important because it is the one place that is guaranteed to be safe. And, if you're gay and you don't want to participate, you aren't required.
  - JonnieCache 15y ago
    The word "safe space" implies padding, and perhaps netting. In reality a gay bar is just a type of safe space. You could call chess club a nerd space-space. It is a clumsy term though.
JumpCrisscross 15y ago
A central point in the article was that there may not be a clear cut distinction between good kids and bad kids, and that prematurely forcing that delineation on kids has un-intended consequences. In high school and college I had some nasty things said to me. But I also said some overly harsh words that I wouldn't have said had I been more mature. While a harsh word from an administrator wouldn't have been out of the question, I shudder to think where my life would have gone had I been expelled.
georgieporgie 15y ago
I'm going to put this bluntly: I had a number of teachers that were assholes. I think being around kids all day, every day, does to some teachers what sitting in front of a computer all day, every day, does to some tech workers. They get sucked into their environment -- which happens to be juvenile drama -- and they lose the ability to remain mature and objective about respectful behavior. Incidentally, a cousin of mine has been bullied quite badly. Sure, he's weird and obnoxious, but allowing people to bully him to "teach him a lesson" only exacerbates the cycle. And now he's even the victim of bullying about bullying from some jerk family members. Unfortunately, the a-holes sense the easily bullied like sharks to blood.

by plasma 15y ago

mlsuthe 15y ago

The line between "fun and games" and "damaging" is very grey and differs widely from administrator to administrator. I know a lot of people (and I'm sure there are a lot of teachers/administrators) who harbor the "harden up and get over it" viewpoint. Legislating out bullying, while a productive first step, will not make it go away. It's the conflation of factors that tell young kids that "gay = wrong/weak/unmanly"--parents, media, peers, etc. Of course it should be our mission to make schools a safe place for kids, but that's only a part of the solution. Many kids live in homophobic home environments, engage in extracurriculars (namely, sports) that are typically more homophobic, or have role models that reinforce homophobia (some religions are this way). In order to cultivate safe spaces, schools do need: -to call out bigotry wherever it is (zero tolerance policies that are actually enforced) -to give teachers and administrators sensitivity training -counseling, resources, and positive role models -specifically designated LGBT safe spaces And keep in mind that things have gotten a lot better for LGBT kids in school. Just ten years ago a lot of this stuff was simply shrugged off and pinned on kids who "couldn't handle" a "normal" amount of bullying.

thret 15y ago
"-specifically designated LGBT safe spaces" That's hilariously bad. Every place should be equally safe. You want to herd the LGBT kids into a corner?
- mlsuthe 15y ago
  In an ideal world, every place would be equally safe, but that LGBT suicide happens is evidence that we don't live in that world. A GSA or similar program is important because it is the one place that is guaranteed to be safe. And, if you're gay and you don't want to participate, you aren't required.
- JonnieCache 15y ago
  The word "safe space" implies padding, and perhaps netting. In reality a gay bar is just a type of safe space. You could call chess club a nerd space-space. It is a clumsy term though.

JumpCrisscross 15y ago

A central point in the article was that there may not be a clear cut distinction between good kids and bad kids, and that prematurely forcing that delineation on kids has un-intended consequences. In high school and college I had some nasty things said to me. But I also said some overly harsh words that I wouldn't have said had I been more mature. While a harsh word from an administrator wouldn't have been out of the question, I shudder to think where my life would have gone had I been expelled.

georgieporgie 15y ago

I'm going to put this bluntly: I had a number of teachers that were assholes. I think being around kids all day, every day, does to some teachers what sitting in front of a computer all day, every day, does to some tech workers. They get sucked into their environment -- which happens to be juvenile drama -- and they lose the ability to remain mature and objective about respectful behavior. Incidentally, a cousin of mine has been bullied quite badly. Sure, he's weird and obnoxious, but allowing people to bully him to "teach him a lesson" only exacerbates the cycle. And now he's even the victim of bullying about bullying from some jerk family members. Unfortunately, the a-holes sense the easily bullied like sharks to blood.