4 ms·

I can agree that change has made many people unhappy, possibly even most. What I can't agree with is the general suggestion that a forced return to an idealized

I can agree that change has made many people unhappy, possibly even most. What I can't agree with is the general suggestion that a forced return to an idealized past would correct that. Partly there's the 'forced' aspect which others here have reacted against. But primarily I think it's also unworkable - you can't just argue that people should change how they form families, if their social economic reality prevents them from living like that. I am also skeptical about the implication that we as a society should want larger families - population growth may be slowing in the developed world, but given our outsized ecological footprint, that seems like at worst a mixed blessing.

realjhol 4y ago
My point is that people react to incentives. At the moment the incentives are stacked up to keep people unmarried, childless and miserable. We have control over the incentives, so lets choose incentives designed to make people happy.
- blacksmith_tb 4y ago
  I can agree with that - also I think it answers to the 'forced' aspect better, instead of a law making marriages permanent, incentives that made people more willing to stay in them seem less intrusive (though personally I am unconvinced that would make individuals happier overall, or be an obvious social good).
  - realjhol 4y ago
    From my own experience, my marriage went through a rough patch. Though for us, divorce is not something we believe is permissible in most cases. This forced us to work through our problems with the help of a therapist. With lots of hard work and time, we were eventually able to resolve all of our issues. Our marriage is now better than ever - we are happier, more intimate and better able to communicate than we ever were before. Not having a exit hatch pushed us to persevere with our problems. I think if we had had less of a sense of comittment, then one or other of us would have bailed, and caused both of us and our kids a huge amount of suffering.

realjhol 4y ago

My point is that people react to incentives. At the moment the incentives are stacked up to keep people unmarried, childless and miserable. We have control over the incentives, so lets choose incentives designed to make people happy.

blacksmith_tb 4y ago
I can agree with that - also I think it answers to the 'forced' aspect better, instead of a law making marriages permanent, incentives that made people more willing to stay in them seem less intrusive (though personally I am unconvinced that would make individuals happier overall, or be an obvious social good).
- realjhol 4y ago
  From my own experience, my marriage went through a rough patch. Though for us, divorce is not something we believe is permissible in most cases. This forced us to work through our problems with the help of a therapist. With lots of hard work and time, we were eventually able to resolve all of our issues. Our marriage is now better than ever - we are happier, more intimate and better able to communicate than we ever were before. Not having a exit hatch pushed us to persevere with our problems. I think if we had had less of a sense of comittment, then one or other of us would have bailed, and caused both of us and our kids a huge amount of suffering.