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I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city. Maybe even a touch reclusive. And if you think moving to a small rural community will solve your c

I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city. Maybe even a touch reclusive. And if you think moving to a small rural community will solve your cynicism about society, you're in for a shock. Things get super petty in small towns, and everyone knows who you are and where you live, and what church you go to (or if you don't go to church) Stop watching so much news, dude. Everything has always been terrible. The reality is, you have more access to more information than ever before in human history, and it's all pushed by companies trying to suck you in with more engagement, largely by inducing excessive emotional reaction to things outside of your control (and in many ways, things that have no actual bearing on your life) Maybe I'm spoiled for parks in Philadelphia, but it shouldn't be that hard to get to nature from any city. I also go on urban hikes to clear my head. The problems you describe won't be solved by a move to a small village. You need to ween yourself off the news you read. I'm not suggesting becoming a luddite, but stop gorging.

thwayunion 4y ago
> or if you don't go to church This is something to be very careful about. If you aren't religious -- or, actually, if you aren't evangelical protestant or maybe in some places catholic -- there are many, many rural communities where you will be a de facto outsider. There are also many rural communities where this isn't true. You just have to be aware of this when deciding where to move.
- uberman 4y ago
  When we moved to our rural community, we had visits from I'm guessing all the churches welcoming us and wanting to know if we would be joining their flock. It was awkward to explain again and again that I am an "agnostic atheist". Just like telling people in my community that I am left of center politically or telling them that I am an immigrant. (I got a lot of "Oh, well I was not talking about European immigrants") In the end, I feel our community has embraced us. I coach a girl's field sport that now 50% of all school age girls participate in. When we "go to town" everyone knows me and calls me coach. I feel I have been able to show a small rural community that atheist, liberal, immigrants are not here to destroy America as many suspected we might. They have showed me conservatives can act with compassion and stunningly (to me at least) that many laws that make perfect sense in a city make absolutely no sense in the country.
- byyll 4y ago
  Join a religious community and be surprised you are an outsider for being non-religious?
  - thwayunion 4y ago
    Right... that's why I am providing OP with the advice that many rural communities are religious communities, a fact of which he may not be aware. Or, if he is aware, may not have thought through the implications. We're all posting here to help OP make a good decision for OP, not bicker about urban vs rural, right?
rafamvc 4y ago
Lots of Philly people here!
- giantg2 4y ago
  That's a bit of a surprise given how poor the tech environment is here.
  - leviathant 4y ago
    >That's a bit of a surprise given how poor the tech environment is here. It's all relative. I grew up in York County and lived in Harrisburg for a couple of years. Philly's tech scene is fucking great by comparison. Now that tech is so remote-heavy, you've got access to national/global salaries, while having comparably affordable housing, more methods of public transit than any other city in America (coverage is admittedly a different story), a nearby airport, the rail corridor, and comparably sane weather, aside from the subtropical summers. While I work from home now, for years I worked in a historic 19th century bank building above a bar in a walkable neighborhood full of restaurants, art galleries, parks, and boutiques. My visits to the Bay Area remind me of the suburbs... sure, pay is way higher there, but you're driving to a corporate park that, from the outside, might as well be Exton PA or Springfield Ohio or something. And everything else is so far away. If a show comes through town and I miss tickets, I can hop on a train (or drive) to New York or Baltimore or DC or Boston. Everything has its pluses and minuses. Because of the Philly tech environment, I bought an old theater on a hill by the river that I live above, and during renovation found thousands of 18th century revolutionary war era artifacts, which became a whole side quest (and a 27 episode podcast to boot). I think it would be rare to be able to do something similar in a city with a more "rich" tech environment. I'm sure there are people who are perfectly content with their tech job in Omaha, or Austin, or Salt Lake City, or San Jose, and there are also people (like OP) who aren't content with what they have either. Heck, I was doing "fine" in York for a while.
    - giantg2 4y ago
      "Philly's tech scene is fucking great by comparison." Well sure, 1 > 0. The global salary thing seems to be moot. I hardly see any international postings. I assume the salary would be even lower too.
mantas 4y ago
More self sufficient in what sense?
- thwayunion 4y ago
  In terms of day-to-day life-feel, it's more about the children being self-sufficient. Raising independent children in cities is the default: as young as 10, they can safely use trains and busses, hang out at city parks or friends places, etc. In rural areas, if you aren't very thoughtful about where you live, the kids are connected to you by the umbilical cord of the family automobile until they old enough to drive. In terms of actual dependence, I feel equally self-sufficient in both places. Rural people massively under-estimate their dependence on global economic systems and particularly three things. First, the regular weekly flow of gasoline and diesel and various finished goods. Second, the regular monthly flow of social security checks. Third, tax dollars from major metros to fund schools. At least where I lived our school system was almost completely funded by state tax dollars that were re-appropriated from suburban and urban districts; the local tax base accounted to something like something like one tenth of the district's education budget.) These dependencies exist in cities as well, of course, but there doesn't seem to be any confusion about that fact in cities.
  - giantg2 4y ago
    You might be thinking suburban. In many rural areas, you have kids as young as 10 hunting (supervised, or supposed to be), fishing, riding their bike places, exploring or "hanging out" in the woods, building things, working with power tools, etc. Really, location foent matter that much. It's the parenting style and what constraints the local culture places on them.
    - thwayunion 4y ago
      No. I'm thinking of rural areas. I know the difference... weird for you to assume I don't, honestly. > hunting supervised So not independent. At all. > fishing, riding their bike places, exploring or "hanging out" in the woods, building things, working with power tools, etc. For a ten year old, all of those things can be done in a city FAR, FAR easier in a city than in a rural area. Even exploring the woods, in many cities, can be done by a ten year old with a commuter rail train pass and a bike. The crucial question when you are in a rural area is: with who? > riding their bike places You have to be intentional for this to be possible in rural areas. Not even "safe", just literally possible. Again, it's totally possible. But if you are not intentional, your kids will not, by default, be able to bike to their friend's place or a common middle ground. If they have to bike ten miles to meet up with a friend, they're going to end up connected to a car and spending most of their time online.
jvanderbot 4y ago
Yes I have left the big city in pursuit of a simpler life and it's amazing. But, I think we're talking about two extremes here. I have lived in Los Angeles, Minneapolis, and tiny rural Minnesota communities. By far, the mid-sized city is the best of both worlds. When I lived in LA, I absolutely felt like I was living in a dystopian parody of a progressive city. When I lived in small towns, I absolutely was annoyed that everyone knew my relatives and thought we were friends or something because of that. Zero anonymity. But Minneapolis has historically been good, though it's changed a lot since George Floyd. Now we live in a smallish suburb and get all the amenities without the claustrophobic small town bullshit. OP, just try moving to a distant suburb, and embrace the wisdom of middle age.
- BobbyJo 4y ago
  +1 A smallish city will provide 90+% of what you'd get out of a big city without the dystopian backdrop. I grew up in a small town, moved to a big city, then moved to a smaller city during COVID, with the intent of it being temporary until things go back to normal, and now I don't want to go back. Just as much to do, with less traffic, lower cost, and it feels a lot safer to walk around.
- pandemicsoul 4y ago
  Yeah, I just moved from SF Bay to Pittsburgh and I have to agree with this. Although everyone here complains about the weather, I WANTED weather again (SEASONS!), and I wanted affordability and a relatively left-leaning city. I bought a pretty damn big house (comparative to what I had in the Bay Area). I'm taking more vacations. The people are nicer than SF Bay Area, you can go places (restaurants on a weekend, for example!) without having to wait in long lines or park a million miles away. You can get tickets to concerts without having to be the FIRST person on Ticketmaster the moment they become available. You can get to nature a lot faster (I went skiing a couple months ago and it was bonkers how there were no lines or waiting for anything). Everything just feels easier, like you get to enjoy everything 20% more than you can in a metropolis where everything feels like a hassle and you've got people crawling on you like roaches.
fIREpOK 4y ago
> I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city. Do you even know that they track your gait? and face? wherever you go? (of course they don't even need to since you carry a tracking device in your pocket)
carlosjobim 4y ago
If you get really rural you won't have to mind any villagers or their gossip.
dejv 4y ago
As someone who was born in rural place, who left as soon as I can and then come back briefly to run again, I saw quite a few people who make the leap, left bustle and hustle of big city behind and were ready to embarace slow and more intentional life. They all think they will move to rural community to live simpler, more selfsufficient life among other people, casualy share tips on permaculture with their neighbors and what not. You might get lucky to find similar minded people, but at the end newcomers are just those ridiculus city folks that come to the town, talking weird stuff, while local hold blue colar jobs in nearby town or hustling income as helping hands whenever they can. Most people do not chose rural places, they just don't have any other choice. Also rural poverty is a thing.
dahfizz 4y ago
> I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city Anonymous, sure. But how can anyone be self sufficient in a city? Do you have a large garden? Rainwater tanks? The tools and workspace to do your own plumbing, construction? Do you have solar panels and batteries? If the utilities all shut down and the grocery stores all closed, everyone in a city would die or flee. It is impossible to be self-sufficient in a city.
- leviathant 4y ago
  >Anonymous, sure. But how can anyone be self sufficient in a city? Glad you asked! Let's go over your questions. >Do you have a large garden? Rainwater tanks? I've got space on my roofs for a garden - I own a three story building that has 100% lot coverage (something you can still afford to buy in Philadelphia) I could easily install rainwater tanks indoors (since our rainspouts travel inside our house to drain into the sewer line) or outdoors - but I walk to the produce merchant and use one of the longest-operating municipal water supplies in the country. Currently we just have herbs and cherry tomatoes in our roof garden. >The tools and workspace to do your own plumbing, construction? As a matter of fact yes. This is the third home I've owned. First one was built in 1905 in the suburbs and was a gut job. Everyone should have a circular saw and an 18v cordless drill, but I've also got plumbing supplies and electrical supplies. We hired contractors for this place because it was a complete gut job (down to three walls, and we had to install steel structure) but we generally don't have to call contractors unless we're short on time. Our second house was built in the 90s and didn't need much work, but since we learned on our first house, we updated the floors (we have tools for tiling too) and cabinets - largely pre-built. We tried something more raw on the first home, and it nearly caused my wife and I to divorce. Why bother when mass manufacture has solved the problem? Even still, I do tend to build my own desks/shelves. And, being in a city designed for horses, if I'm missing tools, I walk to the hardware store. I've got a van, if I need bigger things than I can carry. And if I didn't have a van, I could take transit (or a taxi or rideshare) to the big box store, rent a truck from Home Depot, and use that to transport big goods. >Do you have solar panels and batteries? I've got a long flat roof, and a neighbor who sells solar. We've opted instead for a green roof, but that's sort of a phase three thing for the building. Talking about self-sufficiency while ignoring the benefits of society, then simultaneously crowing about solar panels seems a little bit like moving the goalposts in terms of what counts as self-sufficient. >If the utilities all shut down and the grocery stores all closed, everyone in a city would die or flee. That's a big if for a city, but a reality in rural communities. In my lifetime, towns in my country have been abandoned. WalMart moves in, and Main Street is boarded up in a matter of years. Industry gets offshored, and people who can afford to will flee. "Ghost towns" are an attraction across America. The closest thing to a ghost city in my country was Detroit in the early 2000s. Even cities destroyed in wars are rebuilt more often than they aren't. >It is impossible to be self-sufficient in a city. Context matters. If you want to talk about bronze age self-sufficiency, I'm sure it's a great thought experiment. There's an efficiency modifier to self-sufficiency in urban environments, and as evidenced by placed occupied for multiple millennia such as London, Constantinople, Beijing, or even cities like Berlin and Baghdad and Cairo, even when things get real bad, cities are much more likely to recover.
tarsinge 4y ago
I can confirm that even in a small town you can go crazy consuming too much news and social media. But then I lived most of my life in big cities, and for me moving in a rural community a few steps from the forest where I can walk between two meetings definitely solved many problems. Being free of all the stress of city life and connecting to nature really helped with emotional work and gaining perspective. I don't regret my 20's but I'm glad I found calm and happiness. Maybe in a few years I will have sufficiently recharged to be able to move back in the city. Also I don't know about Philadelphia but in most cities I lived parks were small and sterile and real nature was not easily accessible.
- leviathant 4y ago
  >Also I don't know about Philadelphia but in most cities I lived parks were small and sterile and real nature was not easily accessible. Oh yes, Philadelphia's got parks: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/philadelphia-home-to-americas-park-central https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/philadelph... Want to get lost in nature? Fairmount Park goes on and on. You can drive about an hour to the Poconos if you want even better isolation in nature. We've got a whole pile of National Parks in the city, too. Obviously not the scale of Yellowstone, Yosemite et al, but usually very well maintained, and stocked with National Park Rangers, who, no matter the national park I've been in, are hands down some of the best human beings I've interacted with. There are definitely the more small/sterile neighborhood parks like you described, but the city has also had five public squares designed into its original 17th century plan, and they've somehow survived into the 21st century, mostly for the better. And then there's the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, cutting a 45 degree slice through the grid system for a tree-lined, walkable space running between the world class Philadelphia Museum of Art and our second-empire-style City Hall, which probably only still exists because in the early 20th century, the city ran out of money before they could demolish it. I used to live in Downingtown, three minutes' walk from the train, and about 30 seconds walk from a sprawling rails-to-trails park system organized around the local creek. There were definitely benefits to that (didn't have to wear high-viz during hunting season) but in my situation, I came to prefer a more urban home base. It's funny because we initially moved there from central PA, and it felt kind of cute and even a little bit hip. Lived in Philly proper for a few years before coming back to our Downingtown house for a couple years. Now, it felt like I was in the sticks, man. Like, I knew what "the middle of nowhere" really was, and this wasn't it, but it still felt like I was on the edge of civilization by comparison, and not necessarily in a way I appreciated. Now we're back in the city. Glad you've got a good situation, and context from previous, very-different situations too! Ultimately, the key is to adapt to your surroundings and make the most of what you've got. And if you're fortunate enough to have the option to change things up, well that's just a bonus.

thwayunion 4y ago

> or if you don't go to church This is something to be very careful about. If you aren't religious -- or, actually, if you aren't evangelical protestant or maybe in some places catholic -- there are many, many rural communities where you will be a de facto outsider. There are also many rural communities where this isn't true. You just have to be aware of this when deciding where to move.

uberman 4y ago
When we moved to our rural community, we had visits from I'm guessing all the churches welcoming us and wanting to know if we would be joining their flock. It was awkward to explain again and again that I am an "agnostic atheist". Just like telling people in my community that I am left of center politically or telling them that I am an immigrant. (I got a lot of "Oh, well I was not talking about European immigrants") In the end, I feel our community has embraced us. I coach a girl's field sport that now 50% of all school age girls participate in. When we "go to town" everyone knows me and calls me coach. I feel I have been able to show a small rural community that atheist, liberal, immigrants are not here to destroy America as many suspected we might. They have showed me conservatives can act with compassion and stunningly (to me at least) that many laws that make perfect sense in a city make absolutely no sense in the country.
byyll 4y ago
Join a religious community and be surprised you are an outsider for being non-religious?
- thwayunion 4y ago
  Right... that's why I am providing OP with the advice that many rural communities are religious communities, a fact of which he may not be aware. Or, if he is aware, may not have thought through the implications. We're all posting here to help OP make a good decision for OP, not bicker about urban vs rural, right?

rafamvc 4y ago

Lots of Philly people here!

giantg2 4y ago
That's a bit of a surprise given how poor the tech environment is here.
- leviathant 4y ago
  >That's a bit of a surprise given how poor the tech environment is here. It's all relative. I grew up in York County and lived in Harrisburg for a couple of years. Philly's tech scene is fucking great by comparison. Now that tech is so remote-heavy, you've got access to national/global salaries, while having comparably affordable housing, more methods of public transit than any other city in America (coverage is admittedly a different story), a nearby airport, the rail corridor, and comparably sane weather, aside from the subtropical summers. While I work from home now, for years I worked in a historic 19th century bank building above a bar in a walkable neighborhood full of restaurants, art galleries, parks, and boutiques. My visits to the Bay Area remind me of the suburbs... sure, pay is way higher there, but you're driving to a corporate park that, from the outside, might as well be Exton PA or Springfield Ohio or something. And everything else is so far away. If a show comes through town and I miss tickets, I can hop on a train (or drive) to New York or Baltimore or DC or Boston. Everything has its pluses and minuses. Because of the Philly tech environment, I bought an old theater on a hill by the river that I live above, and during renovation found thousands of 18th century revolutionary war era artifacts, which became a whole side quest (and a 27 episode podcast to boot). I think it would be rare to be able to do something similar in a city with a more "rich" tech environment. I'm sure there are people who are perfectly content with their tech job in Omaha, or Austin, or Salt Lake City, or San Jose, and there are also people (like OP) who aren't content with what they have either. Heck, I was doing "fine" in York for a while.
  - giantg2 4y ago
    "Philly's tech scene is fucking great by comparison." Well sure, 1 > 0. The global salary thing seems to be moot. I hardly see any international postings. I assume the salary would be even lower too.

mantas 4y ago

More self sufficient in what sense?

thwayunion 4y ago
In terms of day-to-day life-feel, it's more about the children being self-sufficient. Raising independent children in cities is the default: as young as 10, they can safely use trains and busses, hang out at city parks or friends places, etc. In rural areas, if you aren't very thoughtful about where you live, the kids are connected to you by the umbilical cord of the family automobile until they old enough to drive. In terms of actual dependence, I feel equally self-sufficient in both places. Rural people massively under-estimate their dependence on global economic systems and particularly three things. First, the regular weekly flow of gasoline and diesel and various finished goods. Second, the regular monthly flow of social security checks. Third, tax dollars from major metros to fund schools. At least where I lived our school system was almost completely funded by state tax dollars that were re-appropriated from suburban and urban districts; the local tax base accounted to something like something like one tenth of the district's education budget.) These dependencies exist in cities as well, of course, but there doesn't seem to be any confusion about that fact in cities.
- giantg2 4y ago
  You might be thinking suburban. In many rural areas, you have kids as young as 10 hunting (supervised, or supposed to be), fishing, riding their bike places, exploring or "hanging out" in the woods, building things, working with power tools, etc. Really, location foent matter that much. It's the parenting style and what constraints the local culture places on them.
  - thwayunion 4y ago
    No. I'm thinking of rural areas. I know the difference... weird for you to assume I don't, honestly. > hunting supervised So not independent. At all. > fishing, riding their bike places, exploring or "hanging out" in the woods, building things, working with power tools, etc. For a ten year old, all of those things can be done in a city FAR, FAR easier in a city than in a rural area. Even exploring the woods, in many cities, can be done by a ten year old with a commuter rail train pass and a bike. The crucial question when you are in a rural area is: with who? > riding their bike places You have to be intentional for this to be possible in rural areas. Not even "safe", just literally possible. Again, it's totally possible. But if you are not intentional, your kids will not, by default, be able to bike to their friend's place or a common middle ground. If they have to bike ten miles to meet up with a friend, they're going to end up connected to a car and spending most of their time online.

jvanderbot 4y ago

Yes I have left the big city in pursuit of a simpler life and it's amazing. But, I think we're talking about two extremes here. I have lived in Los Angeles, Minneapolis, and tiny rural Minnesota communities. By far, the mid-sized city is the best of both worlds. When I lived in LA, I absolutely felt like I was living in a dystopian parody of a progressive city. When I lived in small towns, I absolutely was annoyed that everyone knew my relatives and thought we were friends or something because of that. Zero anonymity. But Minneapolis has historically been good, though it's changed a lot since George Floyd. Now we live in a smallish suburb and get all the amenities without the claustrophobic small town bullshit. OP, just try moving to a distant suburb, and embrace the wisdom of middle age.

BobbyJo 4y ago
+1 A smallish city will provide 90+% of what you'd get out of a big city without the dystopian backdrop. I grew up in a small town, moved to a big city, then moved to a smaller city during COVID, with the intent of it being temporary until things go back to normal, and now I don't want to go back. Just as much to do, with less traffic, lower cost, and it feels a lot safer to walk around.
pandemicsoul 4y ago
Yeah, I just moved from SF Bay to Pittsburgh and I have to agree with this. Although everyone here complains about the weather, I WANTED weather again (SEASONS!), and I wanted affordability and a relatively left-leaning city. I bought a pretty damn big house (comparative to what I had in the Bay Area). I'm taking more vacations. The people are nicer than SF Bay Area, you can go places (restaurants on a weekend, for example!) without having to wait in long lines or park a million miles away. You can get tickets to concerts without having to be the FIRST person on Ticketmaster the moment they become available. You can get to nature a lot faster (I went skiing a couple months ago and it was bonkers how there were no lines or waiting for anything). Everything just feels easier, like you get to enjoy everything 20% more than you can in a metropolis where everything feels like a hassle and you've got people crawling on you like roaches.

fIREpOK 4y ago

> I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city. Do you even know that they track your gait? and face? wherever you go? (of course they don't even need to since you carry a tracking device in your pocket)

carlosjobim 4y ago

If you get really rural you won't have to mind any villagers or their gossip.

dejv 4y ago

As someone who was born in rural place, who left as soon as I can and then come back briefly to run again, I saw quite a few people who make the leap, left bustle and hustle of big city behind and were ready to embarace slow and more intentional life. They all think they will move to rural community to live simpler, more selfsufficient life among other people, casualy share tips on permaculture with their neighbors and what not. You might get lucky to find similar minded people, but at the end newcomers are just those ridiculus city folks that come to the town, talking weird stuff, while local hold blue colar jobs in nearby town or hustling income as helping hands whenever they can. Most people do not chose rural places, they just don't have any other choice. Also rural poverty is a thing.

dahfizz 4y ago

> I actually feel more anonymous and self sufficient in a city Anonymous, sure. But how can anyone be self sufficient in a city? Do you have a large garden? Rainwater tanks? The tools and workspace to do your own plumbing, construction? Do you have solar panels and batteries? If the utilities all shut down and the grocery stores all closed, everyone in a city would die or flee. It is impossible to be self-sufficient in a city.

leviathant 4y ago
>Anonymous, sure. But how can anyone be self sufficient in a city? Glad you asked! Let's go over your questions. >Do you have a large garden? Rainwater tanks? I've got space on my roofs for a garden - I own a three story building that has 100% lot coverage (something you can still afford to buy in Philadelphia) I could easily install rainwater tanks indoors (since our rainspouts travel inside our house to drain into the sewer line) or outdoors - but I walk to the produce merchant and use one of the longest-operating municipal water supplies in the country. Currently we just have herbs and cherry tomatoes in our roof garden. >The tools and workspace to do your own plumbing, construction? As a matter of fact yes. This is the third home I've owned. First one was built in 1905 in the suburbs and was a gut job. Everyone should have a circular saw and an 18v cordless drill, but I've also got plumbing supplies and electrical supplies. We hired contractors for this place because it was a complete gut job (down to three walls, and we had to install steel structure) but we generally don't have to call contractors unless we're short on time. Our second house was built in the 90s and didn't need much work, but since we learned on our first house, we updated the floors (we have tools for tiling too) and cabinets - largely pre-built. We tried something more raw on the first home, and it nearly caused my wife and I to divorce. Why bother when mass manufacture has solved the problem? Even still, I do tend to build my own desks/shelves. And, being in a city designed for horses, if I'm missing tools, I walk to the hardware store. I've got a van, if I need bigger things than I can carry. And if I didn't have a van, I could take transit (or a taxi or rideshare) to the big box store, rent a truck from Home Depot, and use that to transport big goods. >Do you have solar panels and batteries? I've got a long flat roof, and a neighbor who sells solar. We've opted instead for a green roof, but that's sort of a phase three thing for the building. Talking about self-sufficiency while ignoring the benefits of society, then simultaneously crowing about solar panels seems a little bit like moving the goalposts in terms of what counts as self-sufficient. >If the utilities all shut down and the grocery stores all closed, everyone in a city would die or flee. That's a big if for a city, but a reality in rural communities. In my lifetime, towns in my country have been abandoned. WalMart moves in, and Main Street is boarded up in a matter of years. Industry gets offshored, and people who can afford to will flee. "Ghost towns" are an attraction across America. The closest thing to a ghost city in my country was Detroit in the early 2000s. Even cities destroyed in wars are rebuilt more often than they aren't. >It is impossible to be self-sufficient in a city. Context matters. If you want to talk about bronze age self-sufficiency, I'm sure it's a great thought experiment. There's an efficiency modifier to self-sufficiency in urban environments, and as evidenced by placed occupied for multiple millennia such as London, Constantinople, Beijing, or even cities like Berlin and Baghdad and Cairo, even when things get real bad, cities are much more likely to recover.

tarsinge 4y ago

I can confirm that even in a small town you can go crazy consuming too much news and social media. But then I lived most of my life in big cities, and for me moving in a rural community a few steps from the forest where I can walk between two meetings definitely solved many problems. Being free of all the stress of city life and connecting to nature really helped with emotional work and gaining perspective. I don't regret my 20's but I'm glad I found calm and happiness. Maybe in a few years I will have sufficiently recharged to be able to move back in the city. Also I don't know about Philadelphia but in most cities I lived parks were small and sterile and real nature was not easily accessible.

leviathant 4y ago
>Also I don't know about Philadelphia but in most cities I lived parks were small and sterile and real nature was not easily accessible. Oh yes, Philadelphia's got parks: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/philadelphia-home-to-americas-park-central https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/philadelph... Want to get lost in nature? Fairmount Park goes on and on. You can drive about an hour to the Poconos if you want even better isolation in nature. We've got a whole pile of National Parks in the city, too. Obviously not the scale of Yellowstone, Yosemite et al, but usually very well maintained, and stocked with National Park Rangers, who, no matter the national park I've been in, are hands down some of the best human beings I've interacted with. There are definitely the more small/sterile neighborhood parks like you described, but the city has also had five public squares designed into its original 17th century plan, and they've somehow survived into the 21st century, mostly for the better. And then there's the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, cutting a 45 degree slice through the grid system for a tree-lined, walkable space running between the world class Philadelphia Museum of Art and our second-empire-style City Hall, which probably only still exists because in the early 20th century, the city ran out of money before they could demolish it. I used to live in Downingtown, three minutes' walk from the train, and about 30 seconds walk from a sprawling rails-to-trails park system organized around the local creek. There were definitely benefits to that (didn't have to wear high-viz during hunting season) but in my situation, I came to prefer a more urban home base. It's funny because we initially moved there from central PA, and it felt kind of cute and even a little bit hip. Lived in Philly proper for a few years before coming back to our Downingtown house for a couple years. Now, it felt like I was in the sticks, man. Like, I knew what "the middle of nowhere" really was, and this wasn't it, but it still felt like I was on the edge of civilization by comparison, and not necessarily in a way I appreciated. Now we're back in the city. Glad you've got a good situation, and context from previous, very-different situations too! Ultimately, the key is to adapt to your surroundings and make the most of what you've got. And if you're fortunate enough to have the option to change things up, well that's just a bonus.