3 ms·

I don't disagree that traditional marriage works. Despite all attempts to reject tradition, we've ended up living a pretty traditional married life. We wouldn

I don't disagree that traditional marriage works. Despite all attempts to reject tradition, we've ended up living a pretty traditional married life. We wouldn't have ended up here if it wasn't a stable equilibrium. But I think the following are equally valid explanations for the results: > Marriage is good, actually. > Society treats unmarried women poorly, so much so that it damages their health. It would be interesting to see if the results replicate with a sample of men.

bluefirebrand 4y ago
> Society treats unmarried women poorly, so much so that it damages their health I think we might live in different universes. What my observations are right now is that many women are choosing to remain single because they are thriving just fine without a man in their lives. Unmarried Men are turning into incels who are bitter, angry at the world and they are unquestionably socially damaged and ostracized. Perhaps I'm struggling to see past my own perspective here though.
- jfowief 4y ago
  Of course it's the women who often have unrealistic standards and much less of a drive to find a mate, for basic evolutionary reasons found in the vast majority of sexually reproducing animals.
- __MatrixMan__ 4y ago
  When we got married, we didn't tell anybody. We had already been living like we were married for years, so it was just a tax thing. A year or so later, my wife decided she wanted to have a party and make a big deal about it--the primary driver for this decision was that she noticed that her female co-workers weren't treating her like a professional, and she suspected it was because they didn't see her as really married. I didn't press the issue, we had a party, it was great. But apparently, women treat unmarried women differently in professional contexts. Also, men do. Also, the IRS does. Also, parents do. Do nurses without a family end up working different hours? There are a lot of factors. I'm just saying that it's really difficult to sort out whether being married helped these women because it's so great, or whether not being married harmed the other ones because they were treated poorly in ways we don't understand.

bluefirebrand 4y ago

> Society treats unmarried women poorly, so much so that it damages their health I think we might live in different universes. What my observations are right now is that many women are choosing to remain single because they are thriving just fine without a man in their lives. Unmarried Men are turning into incels who are bitter, angry at the world and they are unquestionably socially damaged and ostracized. Perhaps I'm struggling to see past my own perspective here though.

jfowief 4y ago
Of course it's the women who often have unrealistic standards and much less of a drive to find a mate, for basic evolutionary reasons found in the vast majority of sexually reproducing animals.
__MatrixMan__ 4y ago
When we got married, we didn't tell anybody. We had already been living like we were married for years, so it was just a tax thing. A year or so later, my wife decided she wanted to have a party and make a big deal about it--the primary driver for this decision was that she noticed that her female co-workers weren't treating her like a professional, and she suspected it was because they didn't see her as really married. I didn't press the issue, we had a party, it was great. But apparently, women treat unmarried women differently in professional contexts. Also, men do. Also, the IRS does. Also, parents do. Do nurses without a family end up working different hours? There are a lot of factors. I'm just saying that it's really difficult to sort out whether being married helped these women because it's so great, or whether not being married harmed the other ones because they were treated poorly in ways we don't understand.