That's probably true, but it's besides the point. Haskell is not about removing side effects in the first place-- it's about making them obvious and contained,

That's probably true, but it's besides the point. Haskell is not about removing side effects in the first place-- it's about making them obvious and contained, and about declaring them. It's about the type system imposing certain constraints on what's allowed and where: none of the above really applies to C.