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I get that it is trying to be contrarian to the popular book with a similar title. I just fundamentally disagree. You need to vent sometimes, you need to get i

I get that it is trying to be contrarian to the popular book with a similar title. I just fundamentally disagree. You need to vent sometimes, you need to get it out of your head and into the world. You need someone to lend an ear here and there. You can’t talk about certain repressed emotions with certain people either. The trend seems to show we are more “connected” but more lonely than ever. How many people who frequent HN for example have someone they talk to about their life’s problems frequently? How many of those people want to be the person that only hear you venting without feeling used? Therapists serve a wonderful purpose. Little strings attached, you can vent to someone and get feedback. Don't like them? Find a new one just like you would a friend or family member who doesn’t want to listen. If America valued communities like they did many decades ago, we wouldn’t need as much mental health support because we would already be getting it. But therapy is a tool to be used and many do not ever utilize it. To generalize like this article is trying to do is a shame. There’s plenty of therapists that help people see the bottlenecks in their lives to then fix and become happier and no longer need it. I will 100% agree with the idea of stress to strength. Pavlov famously did experiments late in life on breaking dogs down with enough stress only to reverse the effects with enough stress. > “[Pavlov] spent the rest of his long life giving stress-induced nervous breakdowns to dogs, after which he would try to reverse the breakdowns, all the while keeping careful experimental records. > “He found (1) that he could classify dogs so as to predict how easily a particular dog would breakdown; (2) that the dogs hardest to break down were also the hardest to return to their pre-breakdown state; (3) that any dog could be broken down; and (4) that he couldn’t reverse a breakdown except by reimposing stress.” Oh and the most common way to resolve said issues? A relatedness or connectedness to something.

chrisfosterelli 4y ago
> To generalize like this article is trying to do is a shame. It seems to me that the article's author is trying to do the opposite of generalize. They are in fact saying that generalizing is not good; specifically that assuming everyone needs therapy for everything might not be a good stance.
- thenerdhead 4y ago
  Personally it reads like they are talking about a problem they perceive the world is doing. If therapy was the “go to” thing, wouldn’t more people be in it? Wouldn’t it be more accessible by now? Maybe 20% of people seek it in a year. What about how many people see the “go to” thing as a sign of weakness? It’s just hard to make these blanket statements, that’s why I commented.
lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago
> To generalize like this article is trying to do This comes off like you didn't read the article. The author instead seems to be speaking against a certain generalization that therapy is never a bad thing. > To be clear, I am a fan of therapy, and as a practicing psychiatrist for almost 20 years, I have witnessed many patients improve in treatment. However, the therapy-is-the-answer model is problematic for several reasons. The author is suggesting that therapy isn't always the answer to every problem. I think the author even agrees with you that therapy is often a good answer to many common problems.
- thenerdhead 4y ago
  Tough love / common sense therapists are fine, they don’t provide any solutions though. Do parents need to spend more time with troubled kids? Do you as an individual just suck it up and move on to only have problems later in life? Generalizing in this way sounds like “not my problem”. In life you either teach people or put up with them. This article suggests people just become self-reliant. We all know that doesn’t just happen overnight. Most professions that are noble ought to be putting themselves out of a job. Doctors, therapists, educators, etc. Not just passing the buck.
- mustacheemperor 4y ago
  I think I would agree with the article more if it were framed "Maybe You Don't Need to Talk to Just Anyone", as in, you might only find helpful outcomes from the right therapist. There are different approaches to therapy. The article points out some ways that talk therapy could actually make problems worse, not better. But a good therapist would recognize the kind of problem their patient is experiencing, get to know their patient, and opt for a treatment path or an approach to talk therapy that will not be detrimental. And therapy goes way beyond "talking about your problems to a professional." Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, for instance, is a structured process that is often utilized specifically in cases where talk therapy would not be effective. [0] Therapy isn't the answer to every problem, sure. It's not going to help me unclog the garbage disposal. But I think the generalization that most people would be better off with the support of a good therapist is a true one. And sure, that's just my own opinion - but it's my view that mental hygiene isn't that different from the other ways we maintain the health of our bodies, and most people don't seem to object to the generalized advice that everyone should see a dentist twice a year. Some of the points this article raises, like the negative effects of rumination or the potential utility of stress, are already known to me because I learned about them from my therapist, advising me about them! Choosing the right therapist can be a challenge though, especially if you don't know what a good therapeutic outcome should look/feel like. I think most of the advice in this article would be better applied to "how do I choose the right therapist" than "should I just completely rule out therapy." [0]https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-diale...
karaterobot 4y ago
> Therapy can be helpful but we’re leaving a lot on the table if that is the only solution we have. Doesn't sound like you disagree with the author. She's not saying therapy is always bad, just that it's not always good. This seems common sense. The question is, when is it better to get therapy than not to get therapy, what kind of therapy, with whom, and so on.
- thenerdhead 4y ago
  Your question would be answered by seeking help to see if it is right for you and for a common sense therapist to reject you if you’re doing fine. Sadly that is unlikely given incentives and the need to keep practicing. They are great arguments but just feels generalizing something many don’t even do to begin with.

chrisfosterelli 4y ago

> To generalize like this article is trying to do is a shame. It seems to me that the article's author is trying to do the opposite of generalize. They are in fact saying that generalizing is not good; specifically that assuming everyone needs therapy for everything might not be a good stance.

thenerdhead 4y ago
Personally it reads like they are talking about a problem they perceive the world is doing. If therapy was the “go to” thing, wouldn’t more people be in it? Wouldn’t it be more accessible by now? Maybe 20% of people seek it in a year. What about how many people see the “go to” thing as a sign of weakness? It’s just hard to make these blanket statements, that’s why I commented.

lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago

> To generalize like this article is trying to do This comes off like you didn't read the article. The author instead seems to be speaking against a certain generalization that therapy is never a bad thing. > To be clear, I am a fan of therapy, and as a practicing psychiatrist for almost 20 years, I have witnessed many patients improve in treatment. However, the therapy-is-the-answer model is problematic for several reasons. The author is suggesting that therapy isn't always the answer to every problem. I think the author even agrees with you that therapy is often a good answer to many common problems.

thenerdhead 4y ago
Tough love / common sense therapists are fine, they don’t provide any solutions though. Do parents need to spend more time with troubled kids? Do you as an individual just suck it up and move on to only have problems later in life? Generalizing in this way sounds like “not my problem”. In life you either teach people or put up with them. This article suggests people just become self-reliant. We all know that doesn’t just happen overnight. Most professions that are noble ought to be putting themselves out of a job. Doctors, therapists, educators, etc. Not just passing the buck.
mustacheemperor 4y ago
I think I would agree with the article more if it were framed "Maybe You Don't Need to Talk to Just Anyone", as in, you might only find helpful outcomes from the right therapist. There are different approaches to therapy. The article points out some ways that talk therapy could actually make problems worse, not better. But a good therapist would recognize the kind of problem their patient is experiencing, get to know their patient, and opt for a treatment path or an approach to talk therapy that will not be detrimental. And therapy goes way beyond "talking about your problems to a professional." Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, for instance, is a structured process that is often utilized specifically in cases where talk therapy would not be effective. [0] Therapy isn't the answer to every problem, sure. It's not going to help me unclog the garbage disposal. But I think the generalization that most people would be better off with the support of a good therapist is a true one. And sure, that's just my own opinion - but it's my view that mental hygiene isn't that different from the other ways we maintain the health of our bodies, and most people don't seem to object to the generalized advice that everyone should see a dentist twice a year. Some of the points this article raises, like the negative effects of rumination or the potential utility of stress, are already known to me because I learned about them from my therapist, advising me about them! Choosing the right therapist can be a challenge though, especially if you don't know what a good therapeutic outcome should look/feel like. I think most of the advice in this article would be better applied to "how do I choose the right therapist" than "should I just completely rule out therapy." [0]https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22838-diale...

karaterobot 4y ago

> Therapy can be helpful but we’re leaving a lot on the table if that is the only solution we have. Doesn't sound like you disagree with the author. She's not saying therapy is always bad, just that it's not always good. This seems common sense. The question is, when is it better to get therapy than not to get therapy, what kind of therapy, with whom, and so on.

thenerdhead 4y ago
Your question would be answered by seeking help to see if it is right for you and for a common sense therapist to reject you if you’re doing fine. Sadly that is unlikely given incentives and the need to keep practicing. They are great arguments but just feels generalizing something many don’t even do to begin with.